The Sacrifice
by CricketsInTune
Summary: Hermione Granger returns to Hogwarts as Head Girl and Draco Malfoy as Head Boy. Upset as she is, she has a job to do, one that puts her in close proximity to Malfoy himself. But he's hiding something, something big. Can her love save his life?
1. McGonagall's Request

**Author's Note: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter and I don't.  
This is my second fic and I know it starts out slow, but I have good ideas for this one too. I always liked the other Dramione stories I've read when Hermione and Draco end up living together at Hogwarts so I'm giving it a try. I'm also following the books as much as possible. Let me know what you think, I love feedback. I may take awhile to update again, I need to formulate more ideas. =) Enjoy! **

Hogwarts had changed. The world had changed. They had changed.

Hermione Granger could still think back to that everlasting, fateful night when she gazed upon the seemingly lifeless figure of her best friend, the Boy that Lived, and then how he rose and sent Voldemort to his destined end. She remembered watching the Death Eaters being taken down and put away. She remembered the cheers of happiness and the cries of loss. She didn't sleep that night…no one had slept. They tended to the dead and the wounded. They all sat up simply marveling at what Harry had just done. And she passed the time with her hand warmly locked with Ron's, awaiting the dawn. She remembered a lot of things. Memory. It had all passed by. They had won. In a perfect world the story would have ended there for them, and in this perfect world Hermione would have walked away with her happy ending. But this was not a perfect world.

Instead she attended funeral after funeral, Harry and Ron always at her side no matter how much all of them wished they could disappear. Why couldn't everyone just rest? A big exhale after years of holding your breath. She had decided to stay at Hogwarts a month after the battle in which many things all happened at once. The Ministry reformed, no longer was it built on corruption, or at least, no longer was it outwardly unstable. Minerva McGonagall took her rightful place as Headmistress and they all began to rebuild the castle they once called home. All the students were sent home early, only a select few were allowed to stay and help, most of Dumbledore's Army was there and what was left of the Order. Their losses were heavy, staying together was the only thing keeping them together. Their wounds were slowly healing, if anything. There were still pieces missing…so many pieces…and Hermione found herself unable to get a good night's sleep anymore, it was impossible.

When she got the letter in the mail it seemed her heart came alive again. _Dear Ms. Granger…._Hogwarts was once more calling her home. It had been three months since she, Harry, Ron, and countless others left the castle after repairing it. Hermione had found her parents and restored their memories. She had spent some of her summer with Harry and Ron at the Burrow, but that saddened her, there was still the air of loss there. And so she decided to spend the last remaining weeks with her parents, her letter bringing her a strange, infinite joy. She was going back…they all were. The education the students had received under the Carrows was hardly adequate and Professor McGonagall had extended an offer to allow the students to redo their last year. It had been perfect, Hermione, Harry, and Ron would all finally be able to finish their seventh year properly, like it always should've been. And now, as she stepped onto Platform 9¾ it seemed to all fall back into place.

"Took you long enough to find us." Ron Weasley said with a small smile as Hermione opened up the compartment where he, Harry, Ginny, Luna, and Neville sat. Hermione crossed her arms and glared at him playfully. It was good to see him acting normally. Ever since she kissed him during the battle things had changed. Yes, she had feelings for him…but at the same time, part of her believed she would die. Even thinking about it made her hate herself.

"You lot are quiet hard to miss I must say," Hermione said with a smile as she sunk in next to Ron, thinking to herself that this seating arrangement certainly didn't happen by accident. She looked at Harry and Ginny whose hands were intertwined, "Happy to be going back?" She asked Harry who shrugged, his green eyes calm.

"I dunno yet. If I end up being gawked at again like our 5th year I may just leave. I think we're all due for a normal life." He turned to Ginny when he said this and she smiled at him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

"Haven't you realized we're incapable of having normal lives yet? Trying to have them would be too much work." The red-head said and Ron rolled his eyes while Harry and Hermione let out small laughs.

"Oh I find things are quiet normal for me. My father's promised we can go looking for the Crumple-Horned Snorkack again on Christmas break, we have quite a lead." Luna said in her dreamy voice as Hermione's cheeks flushed red and she opened her mouth to speak but Harry simple shook his head, Luna had already gone back to reading the latest issue of the Quibbler.

"How are you Neville?" Hermione asked softly to the boy who was staring out the window as the Hogwarts Express began to take off. His eyes were dark, the usual light not present within them. Hermione had read about the death of his grandmother in the Prophet a few weeks ago and she attended the funeral with the others. It was the last time they'd spoken to Neville. She knew he'd gone off to live with someone else, though who, she wasn't sure.

"Fine Hermione, thank for asking." He said without turning to her and the compartment went silent for a few moments. Suddenly it was Ron's stomach that broke the silence and his face flashed scarlet.

"I'm bloody starving…wish that witch with the trolley would come around. I've been saving up sickles for candy." As he said this the look on Ginny and Hermione's faces could kill. Ginny made a disgusted noise at her brother.

"Honestly Ron? You have to had eaten enough breakfast this morning to sustain a family of three for at least two days. How in Merlin's name can you still be hungry?" She said in fiery, Ginny-esque tone and Harry stifled a grin. Ron leaned back and patted his stomach.

"I'm a growing bloke. I need constant nourishment. My body's still recovering from eating Hermione's cooking when we were in the woods for all that time." Hermione shot Ron a death glare as he said this and Ginny mirrored it.

"You grow anymore and they won't make pants to fit you…" Ginny mumbled and Harry just sighed dramatically and looked at Hermione.

"So you've put up with this for how many months?" She asked with a small smile and Harry shrugged slightly, careful not to disturb Ginny.

"Three, but who's counting?" He said with a small smile as Ginny poked him in the ribs and he laid his head on hers, "And I loved every minute of it of course." As Harry said this, Hermione caught a glimpse of pain in their eyes, something that the Weasley's hid well but it was there, living and breathing within them. Fred. She didn't even dare mention his name. As these thoughts consumed her, the compartment door slid open and a slightly scared looking 2nd year stepped in and held a note out for Hermione.

"Professor McGonagall asked me to give this to you." He said in a small voice as he eyes met hers and she smiled kindly at him. She took the note and he turned and disappeared from the compartment, leaving all eyes on Hermione and her note. Without bothering to look around she opened it and gazed down at the words: _Ms. Granger- You and the Head Boy are to meet down in the compartment in the front of the train for 11:00. I will meet you there and go over a few start of term notices. I hope your summer went well. -M. McGonagall. _Her eyes went back up to Harry's with a somewhat curious look. It was now or never. She needed to tell them she had gotten the position of Head Girl sooner or later.

"So what did it say already?" Ron asked impatiently. She was annoyed by him, apparently had had stopped trying to impress her so much like the time they spent on their own the previous months. One kiss didn't constitute anything in her mind though.

"Harry…did you happen to make Head Boy?" She asked with somewhat of a curiosity, ignoring Ron who crossed his arms and leaned back against his seat.

"Nope. Wasn't really expecting to get it though, that's way over my head. Besides I'm over not getting Prefect. McGonagall would have to be mental to pick my anyway," He said with nonchalance as he looked at her. Hermione sighed softly, if not Harry, then who? "You made Head Girl didn't you?" Hermione looked down with a slight blush.

"Don't tell me your surprised…you were a shoe in since the day you put on the Sorting Hat." Ron said nudging her slightly with a grin, trying to redeem himself slightly. She smiled at him.

"I really should go. McGonagall wants me to meet her and the new Head Boy in the front of the train. I'd rather be early…I want to know who she picked." Hermione stood up and as she did, Ginny lifted her head from Harry's shoulder and looked at her with interest.

"So you have no clue who it might be?" She asked curiously and now Luna peeked over her magazine, waiting for Hermione's response.

"No I thought for sure it would be Harry…" Harry shrugged again when she said this, "I'll let you know when I find out though." Hermione replied with a smile as she said goodbye to everyone and grabbed her robes and things to head off to the special compartment. _Who could it be? _Hermione thought as she walked down the hall, avoiding bumping into people as she did. She passed the prefects compartment and stopped at the one in front of it, knowing it was for her. She took a deep breath and slid open the door, stopping dead in her tracks as she saw who was sitting there. The boy had the same surprised reaction but he hid it well, his steely gray eyes narrowing as she stepped inside. Draco Malfoy…the new Head Boy was Draco Malfoy. It seemed that as she looked at him, her blood ran cold. He was wearing black pants, one leg slung over the other with his ankle resting on his knee. His button up gray shirt matched his eyes and was rolled up over his pale arms. His perfect lips held a ghost of a sneer and his hair was pushed back and messy on his head, still that same white-blonde. Hermione didn't know what to say. Their eyes remained locked for a moment before her moved and fell upon his exposed left arm, gazing at the Dark Mark imprinted boldly on his flesh.

"Can I help you Granger?" He said with a dark malice in his voice, glaring dangerously at her. His look brought her back to reality as she returned the glare, wanting to abandon all attempts at possibly being civil.

"Well, pardon me Malfoy." She spat as she sat across from him. His icy gaze was locked to her for another moment before her turned his attention back to his book, seemingly to try and conceal his Mark from her sight. She let out a sigh and he looked up from his book impatiently.

"Can't you see I'm reading? You don't have to make so much bloody noise Mudblood." He said with a smooth, anger tone as he looked at her again. Hermione felt her face grow hot with anger and she glared at him, crossing her arms.

"I didn't know it was against the rules to sigh," She retorted, already predicting this year to be terrible from the first ten minutes she spent with the boy before her, "I guess some people never change…" She said under her breath and his eyes went back to his book once more.

"And I guess some people never allow me to read in peace," He said without looking at her and there was a second or two of silence before he looked back up at her, "In case you haven't noticed, I'd prefer to be left the fuck alone this year." He motioned to their empty compartment.

"You've been in here this whole time? Alone…?" She asked slowly but the look on his face still didn't change, it was still full of resentment and annoyance, "What about your other friends?"

"Why do you possibly care? I'm not asking about Potty or Weasel am I? So If you don't mind I'd like it if you shut your mouth and stop inquiring about my personal life. It's personal for a reason." He hissed but his voice was still somewhat cool as he started reading again and she decided to give up. There was no way she would have a even a slightly decent conversation with Malfoy. He was a Death Eater….her enemy. He'd chosen the wrong side and suffered for it. Maybe, just maybe a small part of her felt the tiniest bit of pity for her but that part was too small to even consider. He was Malfoy and she hated him more than anyone she knew.

Time passed. They ate lunch in silence, trying best to avoid each other's gazes as Draco continued to read and Hermione had even opened up her copy of Hogwarts: A History and began to reread it for the thousandth time. More time passed and Hermione was somewhat bored without her other friends there but she knew she had to sit with Draco, no matter how much she didn't want to. After awhile the compartment door slid open and another student came in and handed her a magical mirror not unlike that which Sirius had given Harry before they parted on Christmas of their 5th year. Puzzled Hermione looked at it and suddenly McGonagall's face came into view, the same catlike features Hermione had come to know so well, "Ms. Granger, I'd like a private word." The woman said promptly and Hermione glanced up at Draco.

"You're mental if you think I'm leaving for you." He said lazily and Hermione sighed as she got up and left the compartment, walking down the hallway with the mirror in hand.

"Make sure we can't be overheard, especially by Mr. Malfoy," At these words Hermione became instantly interested as she walked further down to the end of the train to an empty compartment and slipped in, locking the door behind her, "Very good Hermione, this should do just fine."

"What is it you need to talk about Professor?" Hermione asked innocently but she was intently awaiting what the woman would say.

"I'm sure you weren't taken by surprise when I chose you for the position of Head Girl, although I'm sure my choice for Head Boy has far from thrilled you…" The look in Hermione's eyes made the smallest of smiles appear on McGonagall's face, "But it isn't without good reason. You know Potter would fit the description well, but I'm sure after what we've all been through he out of everyone would find comfort in a less stressful last year. Despite Mr. Malfoy's…upsetting behavior in the past, academically he's a fine choice. But more importantly I want a firm watch to be kept on him. Hogwarts had just been rebuilt and I want no reason for it or its students to be harmed again. I trust you'll be able to watch him, carefully, and assure me that he isn't up to anything. I don't want to take any chances. I fear that he could be volatile after everything that's happened and I know you're even headed and intelligent enough to keep your distance and also keep a very close eye. Because of this I'm reinstating the private dormitory for Head Boy and Girl. You two will live alone together in the South Tower. I'll explain more to him and you of course, after the feast. But most importantly…he cannot know you're watching him. Do you agree to this?" After McGonagall finished, Hermione sat there in deep thought. She wanted her to watch him…basically spy on him…and ensure he wasn't up to anything dark. Yes, this year would certainly be a torturous one.

"Yes Professor I agree." Hermione said almost sorrowfully and McGonagall sighed.

"Ms. Granger…I assure you this won't be as terrible as you think it sounds. If anything your influence should have a positive affect on him. Wouldn't you like to be able to finally rest easy after all we've been through?" Her voice had softened as she spoke and it was now Hermione saw how much the woman had aged, war had taken its toll. And Hermione couldn't help but long to be able to rest easy.

"I'll do my job Professor. And thank you, for choosing me," Hermione stood up and smiled into the mirror at the teacher she'd known for so long, "And I think you make a brilliant Headmistress. Dumbledore would certainly be proud."

"Now now, no need to get me flustered before the Sorting. You should get back to Mr. Malfoy. The train will be arriving shortly and I'll see you then." McGonagall nodded slightly before her image disappeared from the mirror and Hermione tucked it into her bag before walking back into her and Draco's compartment where he had already put on his robes. She walked in as he was pinning his Head Boy badge on.

"Best get dressed, we'll be there soon." He said dully as he sat back down and stared at her. Hermione face flushed pink as she grabbed her robes, his eyes still gazing at her.

"Do you really have to watch me?" He asked as she pulled off her sweater and stared right back a him, a small, wicked smirk crossing his lips.

"Well, I _am_ done with my book." His tone made her shoot him a disgusted look as she slipped her robes on over her clothes and sat down in a huff, pining her badge on and looking out into the dark black night.

*********

"First years! First years this way!" Hermione called out from the Platform as students began to swarm off the train and there was complete chaos. She saw the form of Hagrid way at the other end waving a lantern and Malfoy stood somewhere close to her, rudely calling out to the first years. With a frown she helped the frightened new students onto boats as they were taken across the Lake. She looked over and saw Malfoy standing by a carriage, impatiently waiting for her as she hurried to go meet him, "Took you bloody long enough…" He muttered as he let her get in first and he followed in after her. His eyes stayed on her for a moment before he looked outside and kept his eyes there the whole ride up to the castle, silent. Hermione's mood hadn't gotten better. She only longed for sitting at the Gryffindor table soon and being separated from the angry boy in front of her.

Malfoy pushed his way out of the carriage and sauntered up the grounds towards the castle as Hermione hopped out behind him and ran to catch up, "We could at least pretend to stand each other for the sake of our job Malfoy." She said through gritted teeth and he let out a short, mocking laugh.

"I didn't ask for this Granger. And even if I did fancy being nice I wouldn't waste it on you."

"Fine then. Have it your way." Hermione said as she kept her eyes forward, already furious with him. Did he have to be so difficult? At least if they somewhat got along it would make her task all that simpler…but it just had to be him didn't it? She let out a sigh as they entered the castle. Being in here again brought her both newfound happiness and also a vague sadness as well. She glanced at Draco who slipped his hands into his pockets, his face a mask as they walked into the Great Hall. For some reason though she suspected his feelings had to be similar to her own. He turned to look at her once more before going to sit with the Slytherins as Hermione planted herself next to Harry and laid her head on the table. At least her she felt better, with her friends, at home.

"Please tell me you didn't just walk in here with Malfoy…" Ginny Weasley said as she looked sympathetically at Hermione who lifted her head with a slight frown.

"I wish I didn't have to tell you…" Hermione said with a groan as the new first years walked in to be Sorted, "But unfortunately yes, he's the new Head Boy." As she said this Ginny grimaced, Ron's jaw dropped, and Harry moved his eyes to focus elsewhere, Hermione knew he wasn't pleased with it.

"That bloody git? Out of all the blokes she could've chosen McGonagall chose him? Maybe she's losing it or something…" Ron said still dumbfounded and Hermione shot him a glare for insulting her. They all clapped instinctively as a Gryffindor was chosen by the Sorting Hat, "All I'm saying is that after everything that happened she could've chosen someone you know…a little less evil."

"I doubt he's evil Ron…maybe a complete bastard…but not evil," Hermione said quickly, wanting to believe her words as she finally looked up and studied the staff table for the first time since she entered the Great Hall. McGonagall sat in Dumbledore's old chair and now it was Professor Sprout who was helping with the sorting. Her eyes went to Snape's old seat and saw Professor Slughorn occupying it, a bored, hungry look on his round face. It was then she realized they would have appointed a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Hermione scanned the table for a new face. When she spotted who the new edition was she was surprised she didn't recognize him before from his violet top hat, "Harry…is that Dedalus Diggle?"

"Did the hat tip you off?" Harry turned to Hermione with a grin and she rolled her eyes playfully at him. Dedalus was a member of the Order and had been there the night Harry escaped from the Dursleys, "Yeah that's him. He's probably here as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts post." As Harry said this his eyes darkened slightly.

"You don't think…well…you don't think it's still cursed do you?" Hermione asked softly as they all met each other's gazes. They knew this man and the prospect of more people dying was too fresh and horrid for their minds to bear again.

"No," Harry said firmly, looking past Hermione towards the windows, "I think it ended with Snape. I reckon it had to." They all went silent as they thought back to the story Harry had told about the truth he'd discovered about Professor Severus Snape. It hurt to remember it, even remember that night. The four fell silent as the Sorting ended and all the new Gryffindor's joined them, the feast soon appearing magically in front of them. Despite their conversation Ron tucked in almost inhumanly and it was then they realized they too were starving. The feast went by fast and soon everyone was stuffed and ready to head back to their rooms. McGonagall stood and started giving her notices and Hermione let out a yawn as Ron nudged her and she looked back to the staff's table.

"And finally I would like to congratulate Ms. Hermione Granger and Mr. Draco Malfoy for being honored with the post of Head Boy and Girl of Hogwarts." McGonagall said with a smile as she glanced at Hermione and started a flood of clapping that made the girl flush pink. She glanced over towards Draco for the first time since they entered and she frowned slightly. He was sitting away from everyone else, barely having eaten anything, his eyes on a book. He glanced up wearily at the mention of his name and Hermione looked over to see Blaise Zabini, Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson all shoot him cold glances. Maybe he truly did want to be left alone. Before she knew it everyone was standing and the Prefects were leading the first years out of the Great Hall.

"McGonagall's going to want a word with me and Malfoy, you'd better go on. I'll see you tomorrow morning ok?" Hermione said with a small smile but Ron grabbed her arm.

"What do you mean by, 'tomorrow morning?'" He asked questioningly and Hermione bit her lip.

"McGonagall's having me live in my own dormitory…with Draco." As Hermione said this both Harry and Ron shot Draco dirty looks and Ginny crossed her arms, finding this situation both unfortunate and infinitely interesting.

"No. I won't let you live with that fucking ferret. No way in hell." Ron said angrily but Hermione pushed him towards the exit with Harry and Ginny.

"You all need to go, and don't worry about me. McGonagall's coming and I don't want any trouble ok?" Hermione said as she met Ron's gaze pleadingly. She didn't want to tell them about her mission, not yet at least, "Please?" She said softly and he nodded, his face still angry as they said their goodnight's and left the Great Hall. Draco pushed his way over to Hermione with a frown as McGonagall found them.

"I'm not sure if Ms. Granger had informed you yet but you'll be sharing a Common Room this year. Your dormitory will be located in the South Tower behind the portrait of Queen Maeve. You'll have your own private rooms and unfortunately there's only one bathroom but the Prefect's one is of course available to you. The password is Witherwings," Hermione had to hold in a laugh as McGonagall said this, a smile twinkling in her narrow eyes, "You two will be able to patrol until midnight on weeknights and 1am on weekends if you wish. Also you hold responsibility for the other Prefects but I'm sure they'll look to you with reverence. You can work out schedules amongst yourselves. Now go rest up, it's been a long day. And congratulations again." She smiled slightly as she turned to head back to the staff table. Hermione watched her go for a moment before she realized Draco was already walking away.

"I'm not pleased about it either you know." Hermione said softly as they walked through the castle, her trying to get some even ground. He looked forward, not bothering to look at her, his face stoic as ever.

"Just stay out of my way and I think we'll both survive this year," He stopped as they reached the portrait that served as the entrance to their Common Room, "Look Granger, I hate you. You hate me. We can do this bullshit job and get through this year. I don't want to start any trouble. Got it?"

"Fair enough. I'd rather not have to have anything reminiscent of what happened last year." Their eyes met for a moment and she swore she saw a flash of pain in his but he turned and mumbled the password as the portrait swung open and he stepped inside, Hermione followed. She knew she shouldn't press the issue, something about him seemed…unstable. Wordlessly he slunk up the stairs on the right to his room, leaving Hermione standing their beside the fire. She gazed around, pleased to find this room more closely resembling the Gryffindor Common Room than anything else, and she went up the stairs on the left into her new room. It was spacious and looked out to the grounds, but it was hers…and a bed had never looked more comfortable. She pulled off her outer clothes and collapsed on top, hoping that this sleep she was falling into would last.

*********

1:17 am. Hermione groaned. She had been tossing and turning in her bed as moonlight spilled into the room, the blankets being more of a prison then a source of comfort. Frustrated she threw the blankets off her and pulled on a robe as she stumbled down her stairs, tired but unable to find sleep, just like every other night. The fire had nearly gone and she went to sit on a couch but as she did she realized Draco was sitting in one of the chairs, facing the dying fire. She jumped slightly in surprise and went to turn before he spotted her.

"Couldn't sleep?" Came his cold, velvety voice through the darkness and she paused, deciding to take a seat on the couch anyway now that'd he'd seen her.

"Not at all. You either?" She looked over at him and he was silent for a moment before shaking his head slightly.

"No," For a few minutes they remained silent and she brought her knees to her chest, looking into the fire, "How long haven't you been able to?" He asked with still somewhat of his coldness, but also a hint of curiosity.

"A little over three months," They both went silent at her response, knowing the significance of the time frame, "What about you?"

"The same." He replied softly and once more they were silent.

"If you want I'll leave. You were here first and I haven't forgotten your leave me alone speech." It was then he finally glanced over at her, even in the dark his hair and skin stood out, their eyes met.

"I've been here awhile. I'll leave," He went to get up but his eyes still were on Hermione's, whatever look was within them made him sit back down, "Unless you want me to stay…"

"Can you? Night's the hardest time." She said softly and he nodded, he seemed so human now, so real. The old Malfoy seemed farther away from her right now.

"I know." Was all he said in return as they sat once more in silence, waiting for the night to disappear and leave them free again. Hermione only wondered what this night meant to them, to her, and if there was really a man left inside of Draco Malfoy. Only morning would tell.


	2. Through the Serpents Eyes

**AN: Sorry it took awhile and this ended up being super long. I think I may have fewer but much longer chapters this time around. Please review, I wanna know what you think. I also actually proofread this one ;) **

Hermione's eyelids fluttered open. It was then she realized she had fallen asleep, if only for an hour or so. She squinted her eyes at the sunlight streaming through the windows and soon realized that a blanket was wrapped around her curled up frame. She glanced curiously over at the chair where Draco had sat and found him gone. A slight frown crossed her lips. So far she wasn't doing the best job at keeping her eye on him. It was then footsteps sounded and he descended the stairs, straightening the black tie he'd chosen to wear.

"Good morning." Hermione said pleasantly and he shot her a glare, his eyes full of anger and he looked at her for a moment in disbelief that she had even spoken to him.

"Is there some reason why you've decided to taint my morning with your voice?" He said with a cold tone and Hermione frowned. No, he most certainly hadn't changed. But what had she expected after one night of him acting halfway decent?

"Just thought I'd act like a civil human being, something which clearly you can't appreciate," Hermione snapped right back, fighting off the urge to mention it could be because he'd spent so much time around Death Eaters. McGonagall wouldn't want her being too pointed about the subject, "Can't hate me that much can you? You decided to at least keep me from freezing last night." Draco froze at the words as Hermione mentioned the blanket now wrapped around her, his hands gripping his bag and he averted his gaze, quickly regaining his composure and slipping the bag over his shoulder.

"You think I care if you freeze? It would make one less filthy Mudblood in this world…" His icy words gave her goose bumps but she remained stubbornly impassive, "You grabbed it from the other couch when you were half asleep."

"Oh…" Hermione said softly as he walked towards the door and he glanced back slightly over his shoulder, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper.

"And tell no one about last night." He said quickly before disappearing from their Common Room, leaving Hermione confused and alone once more to dwell on her thoughts. She was hungry though, and missed her friends. At least she could still eat in the Great Hall with them.

*********

The sneer on Draco Malfoy's face seemed to be permanently embedded into his pale skin. He wore it now as he walked down to the Great Hall, but it was mostly for appearances. He had no real need to act so cruelly towards everyone now, but he had no real need for anything really. Ever since the final battle everything had changed. His world. His life. Him. Now he was almost a ghost in the way he lived, but he had learned to accept that a long time ago. Even the façade he put on to fool those around him was something he'd come to accept.

Damn McGonagall for ever making him Head Boy. He had so hoped his last year at Hogwarts would allow him some solitude, some peace. But now that would be impossible. Instead he was going to be stuck with Granger for the entire year. Granger…that stupid Mudblood with her wild curly hair and ugly colored eyes. He couldn't deny she had grown attractive but in all honesty he didn't particularly care. He hadn't been nice to her in all the years they'd known each other and there was no need to start now. No need to start anything really.

Everyone that looked at him received a dirty glare as he trudged into the Great Hall, his eyes dark and cold. Blaise and Goyle looked at him dirtily while Pansy's gaze was softer, pleading almost. Draco fought the urge to gag. He'd been very clear to them on the train, stay away from him or else. He didn't need friends anymore. And being around them, or anyone else for that matter, just upset him. Plus seeing Goyle made him think not only of Crabbes death, but of all the horrible things he had been a part of while Voldemort lived in his home. And that memory itself brought a dozen more razor edged ones to follow. And so instead of placing himself near any of them, he sat alone again, like last night, and pulled a book from his bag to read. He grabbed a piece of toast.

He hadn't been there for ten minutes and she was there. And he knew she'd be there a lot more than he'd like. Hermione glanced at him as her cheeks turned scarlet and she quickly made her way to sit with her friends. Draco didn't bother suppressing a scowl. If she even dared tell them they'd spent the night in the Common Room together he'd be livid. Then again…why should he care? Maybe it was the fact that sleeping in that chair with her across from him that had uneased him so much. Because he actually got more than an hour or so of sleep that night. And it had been with…_her_. The Mudblood who loathed him. But he was sure she'd keep her silence. If anything he could tell she wasn't one who ran around and disclosed all the information she knew, she couldn't be like that, especially after hiding Harry's secrets for so long. He was so deep in thought about Hermione, to his dismay, he didn't notice Slughorn handing out schedules. He looked at it, not really caring at this point what he had, and read what it said. Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Potions, Lunch, Astronomy, Arithmacy, and the rest of the day off. What he didn't know was that his schedule almost mirrored Hermione's, something McGonagall had made sure of.

Draco sighed. He wished he had the ambition to want to try this year but he found he didn't have any at all. What was the point? His father was gone…locked up in some dank cell in Azkaban. And his mother…she was at St. Mungo's, it had all been too much for her to take. And him, well he was surprised he'd made it out of the whole situation unscathed. His mother paid the Ministry enough to look past the few wrongs he'd committed in order to stay alive and so they looked the other way. And even though Hogwarts felt like home he couldn't help but think he'd be better off rotting in his own cell in Azkaban. He had a plan though, and maybe this time, he wouldn't fail. And so he left the Great Hall alone to get ready for his first class, a pair of brown eyes watching him as he left.

*********

The day had gone by like any other at Hogwarts, and Draco hated the normalcy of it. Especially because of what he was about to do. He'd chosen the highest tower he could find in the castle, one with a flimsy, wrought iron balcony. To him it couldn't have been more perfect. An eerie smile crossed his lips as he looked across at the vast landscape, maybe if he was lucky it would be the last he would ever see. He put his leg over the railing and his body followed as his strong arms now gripped the rail from behind. The wind lashed at his blonde hair and he closed his eyes to the sensation, beautiful. Such peace was here at the top of the world. This would work, he felt it. No more pain. No more anything. All those other feeble attempts would mean nothing compared to this. He knew Hogwarts would bring him his solace.

Draco took a deep breath as he looked down, the ground a disastrous length away. No one could survive this drop, no one should. This was why he'd chosen it. He thought about his mother. His father. The Death Eaters. He thought about Potter. Blaise. Crabbe. Goyle. Pansy. And…her. He thought about why he was standing here, about to make the plunge. And he knew it had to be done, there was no other way. And Draco Malfoy closed his eyes as he released the railing from his firm grasp. The freefall was as sensational as he imagined it to be. A mere seconds passed and he was weightless without a broom. Simply the wind pressing him downward as if it was fate itself. He opened his eyes a split second later and saw the ground nearly upon him, the whole experience happening in slow motion as he fell from the tallest tower. He spread his arms out like wings as his lithe body slammed into the hard, unforgiving ground hundreds of feet below where he had jumped.

Darkness. Instant and beautiful. And for a moment he rejoiced. The crack of bones and limbs had only been quick in his ears. He had done it…he had succeeded. He had indeed killed himself. But then why was the world still so painfully real? He felt nothing, and then he forced his eyes open, looking up at the cloudy sky. He had failed…He opened his mouth and let out an agonized, angry cry into the open air. "FUCK!" He bellowed, still numb to the pain he should have been in. Instead he turned over, knowing the only reason he was looking at the sky was because his neck had twisted so violently. His limbs were broken and crooked. His ribs shattered. But he knew that meant nothing. As he turned his head it all began to repair. His neck forced itself back into place, he twisted his limbs back into themselves and his ribs morphed back together. He laid on his back and looked up at the sky. Damn it all….damn it. He yelled again to the sky as he felt himself so completely healed, so fine. He cursed the day he was born, the day Voldemort was born. And although he was healed he couldn't bring himself to move. He wished that all the pain had found him, instead it was vanished. He had failed in death once more. But he had to get up, he had to stand and return to the school. Had he been successful it would've been perfect, but he had to patrol with Granger tonight and if he was late she would make him feel even worse than he felt now, if that was possible. All he wanted was the control to give himself his own death but not even that was his anymore.

**********

Hermione was saying something but he found himself not listening. Probably something along the lines of 'duty' and 'upholding rules,' some sort of Gryffindor noble rubbish. In any case he looked at her and she sighed with defeat as she pulled out her wand and moved towards the door of their Common Room, "If you're going to act like a child I'll go myself." She said and the look in her eyes made him feel somewhat bad for blowing her off. She looked exhausted and worn, both physically and mentally, and he understood that all too well.

"No I'm coming, I don't need you complaining to me later about staying behind," He said gruffly as he too pulled out his wand and they walked into the hallway together, "Plus it beats trying to sleep…" His voice was quiet when he said this and she cast him a curious glance. He hated how vulnerable he felt at night. Especially after his failed suicide attempt he felt awful, like his chest had been emptied out. He didn't want her to know any of this of course, he kept his secrets and he kept them well.

"That's why I signed us up to patrol the top three floors until midnight, I was hoping it would tire us out some." She gave him a slight smile and he felt a smirk grow on his lips as he looked at her.

"I could think of one thing much more entertaining to tire us out Granger…" The sentence had surprised even him but the reaction he got was worth it. Her face lit up scarlet and she shot him a dirty look.

"You are disgusting Malfoy…" She said with a cold voice as she kept walking and he followed closely, the smile still apparent on his pale lips.

"Oh come on Granger…you can't honestly say that after all these years you aren't at least a little attracted to me. You just haven't given me the proper chance to dazzle you with my charm." The taunting smirk made her stop and stare wearily at him.

"Charm? Was that before or after the years of insult, pain, and utter maliciousness on your part? You certainly could've fooled me…" She turned back to walk and he let out a small, dark laugh.

"Here I am trying to play nice and you're giving me nothing but lip. And I so hoped we could be friends…" He made a mock sad face which only made her scowl, "You can't blame me for tormenting you Granger you make it so damn fun." His smile turned more genuine but he let it fade.

"It's a bit sick how much pleasure you find in torturing people." She said promptly and he sighed slightly. Was he that big of a monster? Not like it mattered, it was Granger after all and he didn't really care what she thought.

"Look. I may have the brand of the Dark Lord but I'm not him. I'm not a Death Eater either. So compared to the company I used to keep I think I turned out alright," She glanced at him as he said this, his voice more serious, "Besides Granger I think you're scared of me. Because I'm not a bloody book you can easily read and understand. You can't figure me out and you don't know what I'll do next, and I know that scares the shit out of you. The great Hermione Granger unable to crack the infamous Draco Malfoy. You don't know what I'm thinking or what I'm hiding and it fucking terrifies you…" He leaned in closer to her, his lips near her ear as he felt her shiver slightly, "Doesn't it?"

"You've got it all wrong Malfoy…" Hermione replied with a low dangerous voice, he smirked slightly, knowing he'd hit a weak spot, "It's you who's scared of me…" As she said this she turned, their faces inches from each others as she spoke, her eyes bright, "I could care less that I can't read you. But you could never get to me. Call me all the names you can think of and still you know it wouldn't break me. And no matter how hard you tried you could never have me either. I'm unattainable simply because I'm the one girl in the school who doesn't fall over herself at the sight of you. And now that we're living together you're even more afraid because I just may be smart enough to dig up your secrets." His amused smirk quickly turned to a scowl and he leaned in closer.

"Say what you want Mudblood.." He growled as he grabbed her upper arm in his tight grasp but she didn't even falter and that infuriated him, "But neither of us would ever win this argument." He released her arm and began to storm down the hallway and she followed, silently. And the silence remained as two more hours passed, catching the occasional students out of bed and walking around the castle. Eventually as midnight hit they made their way back to their tower without a sound. Draco held open the portrait for her as a slight peace offering. Maybe he was scared of her in a way…fuck her for being so damn smart, for able to pinpoint something he wasn't even fully aware of. The old Malfoy would've taken her words as a challenge and try to win her over, awful as she was at least she was good-looking. But he knew that would only cause him more pain in the end. And maybe he was scared, but lately he'd been scared of a lot of secret things.

And so Draco Malfoy angrily stomped up to his room, trying best to organize his chaotic thoughts. Yet after an hour or two of mindless tossing and turning, his head too full of past and present thoughts to find sleep, he slunk back down to the Common Room. Hermione was already curled up on her couch and she turned her head as she heard him come down, their eyes met for a second and hers went back to the fire. She remained silent which he was both grateful and upset at. He went and sat on the couch adjacent to the one she was on and laid back, hoping he'd find some rest here as he did the night before. And just like fate it seemed his eyelids felt heavy and before they closed he glanced over at Hermione whose own brown eyes had closed peacefully as well. And with that he fell into a dreamless sleep.

*********

He had spent the day in a zombie-like state and to his relief no one had noticed or cared. Last night he'd slept at least three hours which he welcomed with open arms. He didn't want to have to have another awkward conversation with Granger so he slipped out of the Common Room early, once more making sure a blanket covered her. If she asked if he'd done it again he would simply cover it up with another lie. He wasn't completely heartless…seeing her curled up and cold had compelled him to cover her up. At least it made him feel more human.

He tucked those thoughts of early morning into the back of his mind. He didn't need to be thinking about that silly Mudblood when he went to try and destroy himself again. The more he dwelled on her he realized that he was somewhat happier, a vague, barely audible happiness when spending time with her at night. And he didn't want that. He couldn't have that. He only wanted one thing and he was damned if he wouldn't deliver it himself. Draco had climbed up the less treacherous side of one of the cliffs overlooking the lake, this was one attempt he had yet to properly try. Once more his gray eyes went out to the setting sun landscape stretched out like a canvas before him and he shrugged off his robes to the dirty ground. He gripped his wand in his right hand and glanced below at the black water staring up at him menacingly. His eyes closed. _Don't be a bloody coward…I decide. Not anything else. _His words didn't soothe him much but his eyes reopened. It was going to be a glorious sunset.

Draco pointed his wand at his feet and muttered a spell. A dark, faint smile appeared on his lips when he felt how heavy his lower legs had become, the spell had indeed worked. He took a deep, calming breath as he tucked his wand securely into his pants, his eyes now on the fiery sky ahead of him. He forced his now heavy feet forward until the tips of his toes were over the edge, small pieces of rock falling to their death from his disturbance. And then without any more hesitation, Draco Malfoy used his upper body to fling himself forward and off the cliff, once more the feeling of utter weightlessness engulfing him. It was beautiful…and angel falling from the Heavens onto Earth. He closed his eyes quickly, wanting the plunge to be a surprise. And as his body collided with the water he found a sense of peace as his lungs began to fill with water, he forced his limbs to rest as he sucked the water into him, his heavy feet pulling him down to the bottom of the lake. What he wasn't aware of was the pair of brown eyes that had followed his decent down and the mass of wavy brown hair that followed like a mane as she ran towards the water.

As he sank he smiled, the world around him growing dark. But he wasn't dying….or drowning. Maybe if he sank low enough he would eventually die, but even the water in his lungs wasn't doing it. From above he felt the water convulse and ripple, a shape moving towards him quickly. His brows furrowed…maybe he had died. Maybe this was salvation, even for someone damned as him. But no…a hand reached out and grabbed his firmly, pulling at him and kicking, thrashing for the surface but he wouldn't come, his feet were sinking them both like weights. Another hand thrust forward, he saw the wand flash light by the face of the person above him and he saw her then….Granger….trying to save his life when he was trying so hard to end it. She'd die down here if she kept trying to pull him up. And so he made the decision to save the life of his enemy. He pulled out his wand with his free hand and pointed it at his feet, mentally calling out the counter curse and he was freed. Only seconds had passed but she was weak, trying to swim and hang on to him, not wanting to let him drown…but he knew it was her who was in trouble. He kicked with all his strength and they broke the surface.

Draco's arm went firmly around Hermione's waist as she fought for breath, coughing violently at the water she had inhaled and his eyes were dark, unreadable. Right now his only concern was getting her to shore. Once he could walk properly underwater he helped her to the land, collapsing on the ground, freezing and worn as she laid back, still shivering from the cold. He stood up wobbly and moved away from her, coughing and throwing up at the water in his lungs that should have killed him. He'd failed again. And she had seen. What if she figured it all out? She couldn't….she just couldn't.

"What the fuck do you think you were doing Malfoy?!" She yelled, gasping as she too stood up with shaking legs, moving closer to him. His face remained stoic, he wouldn't allow her to deduce anything from this.

"You're going to freeze to death Granger…" He moved his wand up to dry her robes but she shooed it away, pushing on his shoulders with her hands and he simply stood there, admiring her fire and also slightly angered at it, "Aren't I allowed to go for a swim?"

"In all of your clothes? Are you trying to kill yourself!" She said in almost hysterics and her words nearly made him smile at the irony but he suppressed it, "That was completely idiotic! You're damn lucky I happened to take a walk after dinner or I wouldn't have been able to save your life!"

"If I recall Granger, I did about fifty percent of the saving down there," The glare she gave him could've killed and he sighed, lightly grabbing the back of her arm and leading her back up towards the castle, "You're right. It was stupid. I was trying a new spell and it didn't work."

"Just don't do anything so reckless again alright? I can only save you so many times…" Her voice softened and they glanced at each other, thinking back to the Room of Requirement where Ron, Harry, and Hermione had saved Goyle and Malfoy's lives. He frowned slightly and released her arm as they got closer to the castle.

"Thank you," He said quickly, still trying to hid the fact his mind was going a mile a minute. He had tried to kill himself and she had saved his life, he felt worse than ever now, "I guess I owe you one. Or two."

"Don't mention it. Just before you decide to try out new spells, it wouldn't hurt if you ran them by me, ok?" She smiled slightly at him and he barely returned it, trying to stay closed off still as they reentered the castle, a thousand new worries in his head.

**********

A few days of sleepless nights passed without time spent in the Common Room. He didn't want to be near Hermione, he felt like she had seen too much then, he couldn't have her piecing together his life. So instead he endured his insomnia, always awaking to seeing her equally as exhausted and, was it possible, more sad? True he'd stopped sleeping in the Common Room, but something else had to be wrong. He watched her in the Great Hall and knew she was arguing with Harry and Ron more, clearly they weren't pleased he'd been chosen Head Boy and she had to live with him. He found it all amusing though, especially how Weasley reacted.

It was late and he'd decided to walk around the castle a bit, stay out as late as possible to prevent bumping into Hermione. But she wasn't in their tower. He was walking down an empty hallway on the seventh floor when he heard her distinct voice in a hushed tone echoing down the end of the hall, he followed it, "…didn't mean anything Ron. I was scared and I kissed you. I thought I felt something for you…but you have to realize we aren't meant to be together. We just don't fit properly…" Now he was interested. Silently he crept closer the nook they were standing in, keeping well out of sight but not ear range.

"I love you Hermione doesn't that mean anything to you?" Ron said, his voice full of pain and Draco frowned, Hermione was silent, "You'd probably rather be up in your room shagging Malfoy is that it?" Draco's eyes widened slightly as he heard her gasp slightly and then the sound of a slap on skin.

"How dare you say that to me…"

"What, it isn't true? The only reason you don't want me in because you can't have him. But you love me Hermione I know you do, and I'll make you see it…" Ron said in a darker voice than his own, Draco silently wished he could see what was happening.

"I don't want you Ron. I don't. You're like my brother…like Harry. I love you like family, not true love. I'm sorry…but I can't." Hermione said with an agonized voice and it gave Draco a sick pleasure knowing she was hurting Ron.

"You're going to see it, I'll make you see it again…" Ron repeated and Hermione let out a small yelp. Draco's brows furrowed, what was happening?

"Ron let me go!" Hermione called out and Draco knew he had grabbed her and she was struggling against him. He drew his wand, unsure of what he would do.

"Not until you realize you love me Hermione. I know you do." Ron said through almost gritted teeth and Hermione let out a yell. Draco couldn't stand to just be here and listen to this, he moved closer and saw the massive form of Ron pinning Hermione against a wall, grasping her wrists as his lips kissed roughly at her neck as tears filled her eyes. She struggled but he was much too strong. He moved his hand to grabbed both her wrist and slipped one of his hands under her shirt as his lips crushed hers.

"GET AWAY RON! PLEASE!" Hermione yelled when he pulled back and Draco saw his hand move further up and this infuriated him. Hermione's eyes finally caught Draco's and widened, in shame, in fear, in confusion he didn't know. Draco moved closer though and pointed his wand at Ron's temple and he froze.

"I suggest you back away Weasel before I make you," Draco said in a dark, dangerous voice as Ron's head turned with anger blazing in his eyes, "Did you not hear her? She said get away."

"I don't need to listen to you Malfoy. You disgusting, washed up fucking ferret." Ron snarled but Draco remained calm, his gray eyes a flurry of anger as he looked at Ron, Hermione was shaking. After a moment of Ron not moving, Draco's hand shot up and grabbed Ron in a vice grip above the collar bone and forced him back, his wand never leaving the red-heads face.

"Oh but you do need to listen to me Weasley. See if your small brain hasn't noticed I'm Head Boy and you just forced yourself on the Head Girl and so that makes me very influential in this situation. So if you don't back the hell off I'll not only report you, but send you home in a box for your mummy on Christmas," Malfoy said with a hidden fury in his voice as he stepped in front of Hermione, "Now run along and go play with Potter."

"I'll fucking kill you for saying that you blonde, pureblood shit!" Ron yelled as he moved to attack Draco who raised his wand to Ron's throat and Hermione let out a scared yell as she grabbed Draco's arm.

"STOP! Both of you just stop!" Ron froze as she spoke, her terrified eyes finally meeting his, "I want you to leave me alone Ron. Go. Away."

"Hermione…." He said her name softly but she wouldn't have it, Draco could feel her trembling.

"NO! Stay the hell away from me Ron…" She said warningly and he glanced at her, hurt, sorrowful. He didn't want to back down from Draco but he had to, his actions finally taking affect in his mind. He glared at Malfoy with what anger he had left and backed away from them and eventually turning to take off down the deserted hallway.

"I should've broken his ugly face in…" Draco began to say as he turned to face Hermione but he stopped when he realized she had broken down in racking sobs. She went to speak but couldn't, trying to hide her face as she cried. Her shoulders shuddered and suddenly he felt horrible for her. Her best friend had just tried to force himself on her…who wouldn't feel this way? It was then Draco did something he never thought he would ever do. He tucked his wand away and wrapped his arms around the small, shaking frame of Hermione Granger and held her tightly, trying to keep her upright. She didn't fight back or struggle, instead she sank into his warm, welcoming frame and buried her head into his chest, sobbing. And he didn't care about the state his shirt would be in afterwards. Instead they stood there and he let her get in al out before forcing her to move again and she let in all spill out of her. After awhile her crying lessened and eventually ceased and she pulled back slightly and he let her go, cursing himself at the feeling of loss he felt when she moved back. No, these feelings wouldn't do at all. Her brown eyes looked up into his gray ones, still watery, "Are you ok?" He said softly but he knew it was a stupid question.

"I don't want to be alone." She said weakly and he nodded in understanding. Seeing her so weak and vulnerable broke him, she was usually so strong. Why did he feel the need to help her so strongly? He held his hand out for her to take.

"Let's go back to our room ok?" He answered quietly and now she nodded, taking his warm hand hesitantly as he laced their fingers together and began to walk. They remained silent as they did, hands locked, and even he felt comforted. It was nice feeling…but he didn't want to feel anything. Still he found he didn't mind holding her hand, it was easier standing her when she wasn't snapping back at him. When they entered their Common Room they met eyes and he released her hand, she walked over and sat on the couch and he somehow knew she would be leaving there tonight. He grabbed a blanket ad walked over to her, covering her up, "Get some sleep, you need it." He went towards his staircase but her voice stopped him.

"Can you just stay here tonight?" Her voice was barely a whisper, her eyes still scared as he looked at her and he knew he couldn't deny her. He moved over back to the other couch and sat down.

"Yeah Granger, I'll stay."

**Why is Draco trying to kill himself? And more importantly...why the hell isn't it working? Oh....you'll see ;) And I honestly love the character of Ron, it just works to make him an ass. **


	3. Sleeping With the Enemy

**AN: Let me start off by saying...I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thanks so much for reading and giving me awesome reviews, I promise more Draco and Hermione interaction as the story goes and a lot of other great twists and such. As for Draco's issues, I'll get to that soon too =) Hope you like it and tell me what you think 3**

_We all have a weakness, but some of ours are easy to identify. Look me in the eye and ask for forgiveness; we'll make a pact to never speak that word again. Yes you are my friend. We all have something that digs at us, at least we dig each other. So when weakness turns my ego up, I know you'll count on the me from yesterday, if I turn into another. Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me. Sing this song. Remind me that we'll always have each other, when everything else is gone. -Dig_

Hermione's eyes shot open with the blaring memory of what had happened last night. She clutched at the blanket around her and inhaled sharply, knowing that it had all been real. The sleeping form of Draco Malfoy on the other couch confirmed it. He wouldn't be there if it hadn't happened. Hermione sat up but found herself dizzy, too many thoughts consuming her mind. Ron had tried to force himself on her….even tried to…No. She wouldn't think of that now. Instead she thought back to the way Draco had intervened. How he had so firmly forced Ron away, had swiftly brought her sobbing form into his arms, how comfortable she felt…how protected she felt holding his hand. She shuddered. No way in hell would she allow these feelings to bubble up for Draco bloody Malfoy.

Still it was all so peculiar…the way he had acted when they went patrolling. The way he had so precisely pinpointed her fear. She couldn't say he was wrong, because he wasn't. She was somewhat scared of what he was capable of and how she couldn't understand him. But at the moment she was even more scared at the feeling in her chest as she gazed at him sleeping. She forced a scowl to her lips as she looked at him, but she felt bad because he'd helped her so generously last night…and he had stayed with her. Then of course there was the incident of her saving his life. Her cheeks grew hot at the thought. She remembered watching him plunge into the lake, her jumping in after him, how impossible the task seemed as she began to slip into darkness, and then his strong, welcoming hands dragging her to shore. So far the first two weeks had been more action than she'd like. Following Draco wouldn't be the simplest of tasks.

She realized that she was now standing over the sleeping boy, something which she was cursing mentally. He looked so peaceful…but yet there was still pain hidden in him somewhere, and it troubled her in a way she didn't understand. And she wanted to know the secrets he had admitted to hiding. Not because McGonagall was concerned, but because she herself was concerned for him. He had forsaken his friends, she barely ever saw him eat, clearly he didn't sleep well either…except when they were in the Common Room. Once again her face grew hot and she realized she was holding her breath. She let it out but suddenly his gray eyes opened and stared straight into her wide, sacred ones. For a moment he looked slightly confused and she thought she saw a flash of realization but he quickly masked it, "Why in bloody hell are you gawking at me while I'm sleeping Granger?"

"Usually you're up before me, I was making sure you hadn't died or anything." She said quickly, amazed at her ability to formulate a decent response. The edge of his voice had upset her. He had been so caring last night…had it all evaporated so quickly?

"Thanks for the concern but I'd like it if you let me sleep in peace." He said roughly as he got up from the couch and stumbled up towards the stairs. Suddenly Hermione felt furious at him for this immediate change.

"So that's it then? You're going to go back to ignoring me?" She said with a slight anger in her voice and he sensed it, turning around to meet her harsh gaze, a frown on his perfect lips.

"Yes. I'm going to go back to ignoring you, but I'd say avoiding is more fitting. I told you once before…I want to be left alone. I've just had a few…lapses in judgment but it's over now. I'm still a Malfoy after all." His words hurt her as he spoke them. And she knew he would probably try his hardest to stick to what he was saying.

"Want to be alone or not you know the only reason either of us gets any sleep is when we sleep in here together. And I know you don't want to sacrifice that." She stared at him, challenging what he had said. She knew he understood the truth to her words. Neither of them liked the idea of being insomniacs all year.

"Just because you can't spend a night without me doesn't need I can't spend them without you. I don't need to sleep down here," He turned his back to her and starting walking back towards his staircase, "Honestly Granger this obsession you have with me is getting awfully tiring." Hermione clenched her fists in frustration at what he said. How could someone be so damned impossible?

"I thought maybe you'd show at least an inch of compassion after last night…after you saved me from Ron…" She choked out his name and felt frustrated tears in her eyes, the memory coming back to her. Draco froze. He glanced back at her, not wanting to look into her hurt eyes.

"You saved me didn't you? I owed you," He said emotionlessly as he turned away from her, "Now we're almost even." He didn't hesitate to wait for her answer this time as he ascended the stairs and Hermione fought the urge to cry. Just when she thought there may be a man hiding inside of Draco Malfoy he proves her wrong again. He said he had only saved her because she saved him…if she hadn't…would he have still intervened? A part of her wanted nothing than to believe he would, but she couldn't be completely sure. He was Malfoy after all. Instead of dwelling further on all this she composed herself and went into the bathroom to wash away the feel of last night. She wanted to get to the Great Hall early and try and catch Harry alone, she didn't want to see Ron. That thought alone terrified her.

*********

It seemed as if they were both there, waiting. Hermione took a deep breath as she entered the Great Hall, Harry and Ron's eyes staring her down, calling her. She didn't want to answer it. And she couldn't just turn and leave, because then they would both follow and she would be stuck alone with…him. The last thing she wanted was for Ron to get her alone again. The thought alone made her shake and Draco wasn't there to save the day again, as big of an asshole he was currently being. Instead of sitting with Ron and Harry she moved further down and sat beside Neville who hadn't changed much since their train ride. He too tried to isolate himself but Hermione's pleading glance made him say nothing as she sat down. She glanced over at Ron who's eyes were now on his plate and Harry sighed as he got up and moved over to her.

"You could at least talk to him you know." Harry said softly as he looked over at Ron whose eyes glanced up awkwardly at them and then back at his plate. Hermione felt her face grow hot with emotion, maybe this had been a bad idea, this was way too soon.

"I don't know what he told you Harry but I'm not going to forgive him for what he did…I just can't, so please don't try and play peacemaker because it's useless." She said promptly, trying to hold herself together as Harry's eyes lit up angrily. Now Neville looked at them with slight interest at what was going on.

"You know I can't stand when you both fight. It's always over something ridiculous…" Hermione nearly broke down at his words, it wasn't ridiculous, not at all, "Besides," Harry lowered his voice slightly and leaned in across the table, "He loves you Hermione, can't you give the bloke a break? You did screw with his head a bit more than you should've."

"I screwed with his head!" She said in a nearly hysterical voice and Harry's eyes widened warningly, "How dare you say I'm being ridiculous…you don't know what happened," Her eyes got slightly teary as she looked at him, "If you love someone you don't pin them against a wall and try to have a go with them do you?" At this Harry fell silent and Neville's eyes were filled with slight shock as he gazed at Hermione, the most emotion he'd shown in awhile. He reached up and put a hand on her shoulder and she covered it with her own, thanking him.

"Ron wouldn't do that…" Harry said in disbelief as Hermione wiped away the tears that had begun to form.

"He did Harry…and I can't just overlook that. And neither can you." She said firmly. She wanted Harry on her side for this, no matter what. But as he looked over at Ron her heart sank, maybe he wouldn't be one hundred percent with her.

"He over reacted, it happens," Harry said softly and Hermione's look made him pull back slightly, "I'm not saying it was the right thing to do or anything, but you did string him along something awful. Maybe he had some fire whiskey or something. But I can't just turn my back on him Hermione, I've hurt the way he has and you were both were there for me through it, I owe him."

"I am done with all you stupid boys and how you owe people things!" Hermione burst out as she stood up and grabbed her things, "And until you come to your senses about what's right and wrong Harry I'd appreciate if you stayed the hell away from me too!" She stormed off towards the door and saw Draco Malfoy standing there, having watched her whole outburst that had already gained her stares and turned Ron's ears a disturbing shade of crimson. Tears filled her eyes again as she saw his cold glance examine her carefully, and it was suddenly too much for her to stand here and take. She pushed past him and looked for anywhere that would give her peace, the tall, dark form of Draco Malfoy glaring daggers at Harry and Ron as he went to sit alone.

*********

Hermione spent the next two weeks focused on a few very important things, avoiding Ron and being angry at Harry, working as hard as possible in school to keep distracted, grudgingly getting no sleep in her room to avoid giving Draco any satisfaction, yet also watching him as closely as she should, and finding herself extremely down. She was lonely…and being isolated up in her tower didn't help. Also there were Head Girl duties that kept her busy and a lack of sleep that was beginning to become a problem. She hated to admit it but she missed sleeping in the Common Room with Draco, at least then she got so rest and sometimes they had even had a decent conversation. And she needed a friend right now, she needed something. Neville was too caught up in his own troubles, Luna infuriated her more then helped her, and Ginny was always wrapped around Harry.

Following around Draco was surprisingly….boring. He certainly acted different than he used to though, things she reported to McGonagall, always feeling bad after she had invaded his privacy. He didn't do much schoolwork, which was unlike him. His uncaring attitude had carried over into that too. Yet he spent more time in the library than she did it seemed, and she tried to watch him but also make herself scarce, she didn't need more of his lip. But she found herself unavoidably worried about him as well. She rarely saw him eat, and with her growing restlessness she saw he too looked more tired and worn. But he was too stubborn to give in, she knew he'd much rather see her cave to him. At least following him gave her something to do instead of focusing on how she had lost her friends, and stopped the images of dead, blank eyes when she slipped into darkness.

As for avoiding Ron, that was a different story. He tried hard to catch her, alone or otherwise, but she always stayed near people. Thankfully she had remembered his courses and did her best to move around the places he would be. She was slightly scared of what he would do if they were alone again and although she loved Ron, she needed time to heal away what he did. It was all much too confusing to her. One night she was walking back to the Common Room late from the library and found herself alone. The normal Hermione wouldn't have thought anything of this, but the sleep-deprived, saddened, paranoid Hermione found this situation almost terrifying. Her breathing became shallow as she listened to the sound of her footsteps echoing off stone. She gripped her books tighter and tried her best to breathe but worry was still in her chest. She should never have left alone, too many things being vivid in her mind.

"Granger!" A voice called out to her and she dropped her books to the ground in surprise, gripping her wand and turning to see the somewhat confused face of Draco Malfoy staring back at her, gray eyes watching her. Relief flooded over her when she saw that it was just him. And part of her hated the fact that she suddenly felt so safe, "Merlin you look like you've seen a ghost." Their eyes remained locked and he sighed slightly, leaning over to help pick up her books when she didn't move at first.

"Thanks…" She said softly as he handed them back to her and once more she looked into those stormy eyes, "I've just been a bit jumpy lately I suppose."

"Can't say I blame you.." He answered softly as he studied her face. For once she was grateful he wasn't acting rudely towards her, "How've you been holding up anyway?" His curious look confused her.

"Why do you suddenly care?" She said back quickly and his gaze narrowed and darkened as he looked at her. She bit her lip softly, regretting what she had said.

"You know Granger, I don't. Just thought I'd check in, be a gentlemen for once if you find that so bloody surprising. Now I think I remember why I was staying away from you." He snarled and she just looked to his eyes, worn. He saw this and his gaze softened slightly.

"I didn't mean to sound like that…it's just one minute you're saving me from Ron, holding my hand, and tucking me in to sleep and the next you're calling me Mudblood and acting like a ruthless git. After all that's gone on, can you blame me for being confused?" He was silent for a moment after she spoke.

"Guess you have some right…." He started to say softly but she held her hand up to shush him. Her eyes focused away from him and her ears strained to hear the voice echoing around the corner of the hallway, merely feet away. She knew that voice, she'd know it from anywhere.

"Night Seamus, tell Harry I'll be up pretty soon." The voice called out as another came to answer.

"Will do, see you Ron." And with that Hermione froze, her eyes wide. Draco leaned in close to her suddenly.

"Give me the word and I'll make him pay for it." He spoke in a whisper through gritted teeth and her scared eyes moved up and met Draco's livid gray's, now her confusion had peaked. He grabbed her arm, awaiting her answer and although his offer was disgustingly tempting, she knew it was wrong.

"No!" She whispered firmly, the footsteps nearly rounding the corner, Ron would see them both, "Just hide me! He'll leave you alone if…" She stopped a singular, impossible idea coming into her mind but it seemed as if Draco had already thought of it before she even dared speak the words. He spun her around and pressed her into the nook of the wall, her books once more falling from her arms as his hand came up to conceal her cheek and face from view just as his lips crashed down into hers. She let out a gasp as they did, his skin being so much softer and warmer than she ever could have guessed. Her eyes were wide and open as were his but she closed them as she felt his arm wrap around her waist, pulling their bodies closer together. His eyes closed with hers and her arms went up around his neck. How could something so horribly right be so blissfully wrong? The sound of Ron walking past them down the hallway was distant in their ears, even the noise of disgust he muttered, completely unaware it was Hermione snogging Draco Malfoy in the nook in the wall. The original rushed, crushing enthusiasm of the kiss slipped away and it became softer, simpler. Hermione liked the feeling of his soft blonde hair entwined in her fingertips and his lips working with skill against her own. But it was still Draco Malfoy. She was kissing Malfoy. And it seemed then the realization hit them both. Hermione's hands moved away to lightly push against his chest and he slowly released her waist and backed away from her. Their eyes wide with surprise as their gazes met, but he soon wiped the flustered look from his face.

"Think we alluded him good enough Granger?" He asked with a smirk and she rolled her eyes, pushing past him and once more picking up her books. A soft laugh escaped his lips as he observed the blush on her cheeks, "So you do have a little thing for me don't you?

"Oh don't start Malfoy. I didn't kiss you. You kissed me in case you forgot." She said back smartly and began to walk back towards their Common Room and he followed closely next to her, quiet for a moment as he pondered the truth of what she had said.

"Maybe I did kiss you, but it was for the best wasn't it? Stopped you from dealing with that piece of shit and it stopped me from ripping that stupid red hair from his fat head," He said the password as they slipped inside their room, "Besides, part of you did love it."

"Well thank you, I guess." She said shaking her head, not wanting to get into anything about her feelings for him with him because she wasn't even sure, especially at such an earth shattering kiss. She put her books down on a table and went to head for her staircase but his voice called out to her.

"Haven't slept have you." It was a statement more than a question and as she turned the smirk was gone from his lips as he crossed his arms and leaned against a wall.

"No I haven't. And I haven't forgotten our little discussion either," She said quickly, making sure she didn't falter under his gaze, "And I won't be the one who caves, no matter what you say."

"As much as it would please me to see you give in, I personally think we're both in need of some sleep. Dark circles don't exactly suit you…" As he said this she looked away, blushing slightly, "If we both caved tonight we could call a truce, couldn't we?" Their eyes were locked and she was once more surprised at the way he acted, but sleep was too tempting to deny his offer.

"Fair enough, I'll meet you down here soon."

"Until then Granger…" Came his velvety, seductive voice as she climbed her stairs, shivers running up her spine.

********

It seemed like the last few weeks had disappeared from her mind and all that existed was the night he had saved her and now the night he had kissed her. The world was upside-down. And as she walked back downstairs he was there, in front of the fire. He turned when he heard her and smiled slightly. He held out his hand, "Truce then Granger?"

"Truce Malfoy." She said with a small smile as she took his hand and shook it, the feeling that his touch gave her made her even more confused. She went and sat down on her couch but he still stood, seeming to be contemplating something.

"It's obvious that for some reason we can't sleep without each other right? Or alone at least?" He said after a minute and she nodded, "Well then hear me out. As much as I just love sleeping on under stuffed couches for three hours a night it really doesn't beat an actual bed. And at least those nights I tried to sleep alone I was comfortable…."

"Where exactly are you going with this?" Hermione said in a low voice, seeming to already know what he was thinking and he smirked slightly at her.

"Face it Granger, it's crazy for us to sleep down here when we have two perfectly good beds upstairs. So I have a proposition for you: We sleep in the same bed together." He crossed his arms and waited for her response but for a moment she didn't know what to say. This seemed like something impossible, like the Hermione of a year ago would be screaming at the girl she was now for ever being in this position, to sleep with the enemy. But her current feelings towards him, her loneliness, and her desire to sleep were much too strong to deny.

"I agree." Was all she said and he nodded, somewhat more serious now that she had excepted.

"Your bed or mine?" He asked softly and she was going to say hers but her curiosity peaked. Maybe this could be somewhat helpful in her deal with McGonagall, at least she'd be killing two birds with one stone.

"Yours."

"I hoped you'd say that."

Draco's room was everything Hermione had envisioned it would be. It was exactly like hers except with emerald and silver colors instead of maroon and gold. She looked around as he pulled his shirt off and she tried to avoid gazing at his bare chest. She did however glance at his arm that was bandaged over the Dark Mark.

"What happened to your arm?" She asked softly but he avoided her gaze as she slipped into bed.

"Not important. Now get in before I change my mind," He said gruffly and she rolled her eyes as she hesitantly slipped in bed next to him, making sure to keep her distance, "I don't bite you know. You can at least get comfortable." She bit her lip as she shifted closer in his bed, surprised to find herself feeling more relaxed than awkward. She was exhausted and knew this would help considerably.

"Are you going to wake up and be a jerk to me?" She whispered and he yawned, shutting his eyes as he did.

"Probably…." He muttered as she too closed her eyes, the exhaustion beginning to consume her as she did, but she was able to mutter: "Fair enough…" Just as she drifted off to sleep next to Draco Malfoy in his bed, inhibitions vanished, left only a need for the company of another, even if that other person happened to be the one boy who had once dedicated himself to making her life a living hell.

********

As Draco Malfoy's gray eyes opened he was suddenly aware of a few things. First, he had not only kissed Hermione Granger and found himself somewhat liking it, but also he had invited her into his bed. And second, one of her legs was slung over his and she was rolled over with one of her arms resting on his. Maybe this had been a mistake. But when he realized the time he discovered he'd slept the whole night for the first time in months. Maybe Hermione was the miracle cure. He freed his arm and rubbed the bandaging, it still hurt like hell. He peeked under and saw that the bleeding had stopped but it was still an irritated red and he sighed.

He carefully moved his leg out from under hers to not disturb her and she made a little noise in her sleep, his breath caught. Did she have to make this so damn hard? Ignoring her for two weeks had be difficult enough, almost as difficult as restraining himself from beating the living shit out of Weasley. He got out of bed and stretched once more finding himself thinking of the feeling of her lips. Merlin…he had to stop. He was focused on other things and so far his research hadn't been going well. Nor was trying to starve himself, food was too tempting but still he barely had an appetite. Now here he was indulging himself in the very thing he wanted to avoid, and he knew now how hard it would be as he looked at her beautiful sleeping face. But it was never easy was it?

*********

Hermione soon found out that no matter how many cruel words her and Draco shared she always found herself back in his bed at night and he would silently pull open the covers, calling her in. To top it all off they had a horrible knack for waking up somewhat entangled, a thing which left both of them without words. One morning had been particularly bad when she woke up in his arms, the confusion growing even more on both their parts. She often wondered how it would feel to wake up there for a reason other than needing each other to sleep and that usually caused her to have a fit of butterflies. Still the next few weeks flew by, especially with more sleep to rejuvenate her.

She sat alone a lot for meals, usually facing Draco and sometimes their eyes would meet in silent conversation. She was grateful for that at least, and in private he was slowly warming up to her. At least he acted a bit warmer towards her now they shared a bed. Ron and Harry however still got the cold treatment. She found herself feeling better when she was with Draco, less depressed, even though he wasn't always the happiest of people to be around. Still knowing everyday she would have someone beautiful, silent, protective, and even a bit of an ass to sleep next to was comforting, she felt less alone. And he did too, although he'd never admit it to her. Two weeks she spent in the best sleep of her life it seemed and possibly things could've been looking up again. Yet now she slowly began to become aware of a fact she had been trying so desperately to deny: she may in fact have feelings for Draco Malfoy.

She pondered this deep, secretive thought as she returned late from patrolling the school one Saturday night, Draco had taken the night off and would be taking her place next week. She yawned as she entered their Common Room, looking at the old couch where she once slept with a small smile as she thought of the bed she would soon be sharing with Draco. Maybe it was simpler this way. They kept their cold attitude when the situation called for it and in the seclusion of night they shared a bed platonically to get some sleep. It was all fantastically romantic to her in some way. Together they at least were able to keep their demons at bay. Hermione's mind lingered on this as she changed into pajamas and went back downstairs to sneak up to Draco's room. She hoped he'd be awake. When she reached the door she frowned slightly that it was completely closed, usually he left it open a crack.

_Maybe he just forgot…_She held her hand up to knock but pulled back. Why was she investing so much thought into this? She was being silly, clearly. And so with that thought she pushed open the door and stepped inside, instantly regretting it as she froze to the spot. Whatever poor silencing spell that had been cast on the door was gone to her once she stepped in and she heard Astoria Greengrass moan out Draco's name from beneath his bed sheets. He gave a grunt of approval as he moved on top of her, her nails digging into the pale skin of his shoulders. Hermione watched for a moment, stunned, as a small noise escaped her lips and her hand flew to her mouth, her face turning bright red. Draco stopped suddenly and turned his head back to gaze at her, his perfect hair messy, his face lit up with passion but his eyes widened slightly as he looked at her. Astoria looked at Hermione angrily and pulled Draco closer in attempts to refocus him. It was then he turned back to stone.

"What the fuck are you doing Mudblood? Can't you fucking knock?" He snarled to Hermione who found herself shaking slightly as she stepped back towards the door, the triumphant, evil smile on Astoria's pink lips made her want to vomit.

"I…I…" Hermione stuttered and Draco let out another frustrated yell.

"Get the fuck out Granger!" And with that Hermione turned and ran from Draco's room, slamming the door behind her and running back up to her room, locking the door and falling onto her bed as tears threatened her eyes. That had been too much to handle. Not only was the boy she just began to realize her affection for in his bed having sex with another girl, but he had gone back to calling her 'Mudblood' and his rude attitude. Not to mention she slept in that bed with him. The thought made her sick. Why did he always build her up to break her down? The image of Astoria's face lit up in passion as he delivered it to her kept repeating in her head and she hated it. She knew for a fact that she wouldn't be sleeping tonight, maybe not ever again because she was certain of one thing, she would not be sleeping in Draco Malfoy's bed again.


	4. The Miles Between

**AN: Once again, thanks so much for the great reviews. I can't help but keep writing, I love this story and I can procrastinate on huge Ap English project for it ;) In the next few chapters it's gonna get even better and you'll soon know what's up with Draco, in chapter 6 mostly. But enjoy, I'm sure I'll be furiously typing again soon. **

_It's times like this I think too much oh please don't think too much. Cause I can't let you in, cause these walls have been built. But you said I'm out on a ledge come stand with me I need the company. My face has turned red, but it's not from something you just said. Oh I'm blushing on the inside, it's those damn green eyes. And panel by panel and piece by piece this all fits together but it's not what you think. Oh there I go again. You said I'm out on a ledge, come stand with me I need the company and I'm trying to get you in, I'm trying to get you over. And I'm trying to be brave. But you're listing to every word I say and I'm trying not to give it away. I like to keep my cards so close. You like to keep that console on. And all my broken hearts and all my forgettable false starts well you can have them right now, but you better not look away. This is me trying to be brave. -Company_

For the fifth day Hermione stared up at her ceiling after a long, sleepless night and sighed. Lately her life had once more become increasingly difficult. Not only was it painful to avoid her best friends, but now she was trying to avoid the person she was forced to live with which made McGonagall's task incredibly difficult. She didn't even want to think about Draco Malfoy, but it seemed as if he was always there, invading her thoughts. She closed her eyes and saw the image of him and Astoria, heard the harsh words he spoke to her, and it hurt, and she hated that. And to make matters worse he was always watching her it seemed. In class she could feel those gray eyes on her and even in the Great Hall she began to sit with her back to him, but it didn't matter, he was still haunting her.

"Is there any reason you've decided to be a complete bitch to me?" She opened the door to their Tower and he was sitting there, waiting. Her breath caught in her chest but she remained composed. His words were enough of a reminder of why she was so angry.

"Is that a serious question?" She asked coldly as he stood up and walked closer to her, examining her face as she kept her eyes away from his.

"Yeah it's a bloody serious question," He said somewhat rudely, "I thought we had a good system going Granger. Get in my bed together and actually sleep," He moved closer and put his large hands on her waist, "Besides…I know you liked waking up next to me…" He said with a slight smirk but she pushed him back, her anger peaking.

"No….absolutely not! Don't you even think of touching me again!" She said in almost a yell and he stepped back, slightly confused. The confusion left and was replaced by a sneer as he stared coldly at her.

"And what the fuck is your problem Granger?"

"You're my problem Malfoy," She spat his name coldly as she said it, "You honestly believe that after I caught you shagging Astoria Greengrass in your bed I'd want to sleep with you in it? You must be thicker than I thought…." She said with a sarcastic, angry laugh as she went to push past him but he grabbed her wrist but she pulled it away from him.

"I'm a bloke, I have needs. You must really be caught up over me Granger, it's sad really. I thought you had a bit more of a head on your shoulders, I guess not. Didn't peg you as the jealous type either." With these words, Hermione brought her hand up and slapped him hard across the cheek. His mouth opened and he brought his hand to cover his reddening face.

"How dare you say that! Forgive me for not wanting to sleep in your sex sheets!" She yelled as she moved back from him, slightly scared of what he may do, "Why do you always insist on being an ass? You seem to make me believe you're halfway decent and then suddenly you start calling me 'Mudblood' and treating me like dirt again. Well I'm sick of it Malfoy! You can't just do that to people!" As she spoke he pulled out his wand and pointed it at her, his eyes furious as her handprint was evident on his pale cheek.

"Don't you ever hit me…" He said in a low dangerous voice, "Give me one reason not to curse you where you stand." Even with the deadly look in his eyes, Hermione stepped forward bravely until the tip of his wand touched her throat.

"I'll give you a reason…you feel something for me. Something more than hate and it scares you as much as it scares me. And you need me to sleep. So unless you actually intend on hurting me, which I know you don't, I suggest you put your wand away," She said the words with command and determination in her eyes and he lowered his wand angrily and shoved it back into his robes, his eyes never leaving hers, "And if you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate it if you left me the hell alone."

"You're really going to turn your back on the only person in this school who's on your side?" He said in a low voice as she met his gaze. It was less angry, and they both knew the truth of what he said. But she looked at him a second longer before turning her back and walking towards her stairs.

"I think I just did."

********

Draco Malfoy found that life without Hermione Granger in his bed had become increasingly upsetting. To his dismay he found he actually missed her, more than he'd like. And she was right. He was fucking terrified. He'd done the last thing he ever wanted and that was develop feelings for someone this year. Of all the times it could've happened for him it was now. Wasn't his luck spectacular? He thought maybe having sex with Astoria would help because there was no way he'd ever get there with Granger, but it hadn't. It had only made matters worse. He wanted to be with Hermione more than ever and she wanted to stay far away. Damn him for not locking his door that one night. All he wanted was peaceful sleep with Hermione an now he'd fucked himself over royally. His mood didn't improve in the least. His irritability had peaked and he was trying more than ever to do research and find other ways to meet his end.

"Draco please look at me," Pansy Parkinson's voice pleaded as she sat across from him at his solitary spot in the Great Hall. He kept his eyes down but her pathetic voice made him feel somewhat bad and so he glanced up. Her eyes were filled with worry and sadness which made him feel worse, "I know you said you wanted to be left alone, but we're worried about you. I'm worried about you."

"Like hell you are…" He grumbled back as he looked at her, still sour about everything with Hermione. He looked and felt exhausted though and Pansy could tell. She reached her hand out to touch his but he pulled back, a sneer on his lips.

"Draco we are, alright? Just because Blaise and Goyle aren't showing it doesn't mean they don't care. You can't help them thinking you're a bit unstable…especially after your outburst on the train and what's happened to your parents…" Pansy said softly and Draco's fists clenched.

"Don't you ever fucking mention my parents again, do you understand Parkinson?" He spoke through gritted teeth and she moved back slightly at his anger, a frown on her lips.

"You said you loved me once Draco Malfoy," She said quickly as she looked into his dark eyes, "And you still do, like a sister if anything. You can't hide that from me. I gave you your space, now you can give me some answers. Something's very wrong and you need a friend. And here I am."

"I never loved you…" He hissed back and she rolled her eyes, leaning back in.

"Oh piss off and drop the attitude. It's old." Pansy said back and he looked away from her, shaking his head slightly.

"You sound just like her…" His voice was soft as he spoke, thinking of the one person who didn't make him sick, the one person who drove him absolutely crazy.

"Just like who? Can't you give me some answers Draco? Don't you think you'd be much better off getting some of this stuff off your chest?" Pansy asked as she gazed at him and finally Draco opened up whether it be from annoyance or sheer need to let it out.

"It's Granger! Hermione fucking Granger! And don't give me that look I've seen you snogging loads of blokes a thousand times worse than her," he said after the look of shock that crossed Pansy's face, "She's driving me mental. I can't stop thinking about her and I don't want to think about anyone. As for why I don't, I'll drink a gallon of Bubotuber pus before I tell you shit."

"Didn't you and Astoria…?" Pansy began to say but Draco stopped her.

"Oh bloody hell don't bring that up, that caused me enough problems as it is. You want to be my friend so bad, then tell me what I should do because I don't know." Draco said and took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh as he glanced over at the back of Hermione who still refused to face him. She was still sitting alone and that made him feel bad.

"Clearly you like her, although why I have no idea," The look Draco gave her made her bite her lip softly, "And you should do something about it. If it'll make you act less like a sodden git then by all means go for it."

"I can't just…go for it. I don't want to like her. What part of that don't you understand?"

"Honestly Draco, I don't understand any of it," Pansy said with a sigh as she stood up, "But I do know you're beyond trying to stop liking her, I've never seen you so frazzled over a girl," Draco glared up at her, "And if you'd actually like to talk about whatever's actually bothering you I'm here, we all are." As she began to walk away he called out to her.

"This conversation changes nothing. I want you and the rest of your lot to keep the fuck away from me, do you understand?" His voice was cold as she turned to look at him, her eyes staring into his.

"I understand perfectly. Doesn't change what I said though." And with that she walked back down to take her seat between Blaise and Goyle, Draco deciding that maybe Pansy wasn't completely wrong. He was screwed now anyway. Best make the most of it while he could. And besides, he missed sleeping too much.

*******

December came swiftly and with it came a deep sadness Hermione couldn't' quite place. She was utterly alone and never did the thought encompass her as heavily as it did now. She didn't have someone to keep her spirits up. Also being isolated from the rest of the Gryffindor students didn't help. Instead she focused on school and even more on the tragedy that had overtaken her life all those months ago. She found herself lingering more on the loss of those who fought so bravely in battle, remembering back to the funerals, to all that pain. To her it was easier focusing on the bad than on the good, because right now, there wasn't much good left.

She still ignored Harry and Ron although she missed them terribly. Sitting in the Great Hall was the worst. She'd become an expert at avoiding people though, and it even seemed like Draco got the message although she wished he'd kept fighting back. Because that's what she really needed, was someone to fight her back. Sleep had gotten worse too. As she sat eating dinner alone, a young Slytherin came up and tapped her on the shoulder. This got her plenty of curious stares from her classmates and she blushed slightly as she turned to the boy, "I was told to give this to you." He said in a business-like manner as he handed her a small silvery object that looked like a flower bud and a folded note.

Now the blush on Hermione's face was very evident as the boy walked away and she began to examine the silver object in her hand when it shuddered slightly and burst open into a beautiful silver rose in her palm, she gasped slightly. After a moment she placed it down on the table carefully and slowly opened the note. The script was elegant even though it didn't say much, still it made her heart beat faster. _I miss you. I'm sorry. -DM. _As she read this she felt those gray eyes on her back and she glanced over her shoulder at him and saw a slight sincerity in his intense gaze. It was then she realized she missed him too, no matter how hard she tried to deny it. This gesture however, did not go completely unnoticed by Harry who watched Hermione's actions carefully. Ron was much too concerned with his large amount of treacle tart. Hermione was thinking hard about what exactly she was going to do.

By eleven Hermione was tossing and turning in bed, still unable to sleep. It seemed as if she knew what she was going to do hours ago at dinner even though she didn't want to give in. She slowly got out of her bed and headed down to the Common Room, her heart threatening to break through her chest as she very slowly walked up the stairs…his stairs…and back up to the room that she had been scared of for nearly a month. At the top she saw his door was open and he sat in front of his fireplace, staring into the flames. Her breath caught in her throat. He was certainly beautiful. He realized she was in the doorway and turned his head, their eyes meeting.

"Was what you wrote true?" She asked softy and he nodded, his eyes never leaving hers.

"As much as I'd like to deny it….yeah, it's true. I hate not having you here…ok?" He said softly as he looked back at the fire, not liking to show all this emotion. Even sending her the note was new to him. She gave him a run for his money, a challenge. She walked over and looked down at him and he couldn't help but look up at her.

"I missed you too," At her words he stood up and looked into her eyes for awhile, simply staring into her eyes to try his best to read her, "Can you blame me for being upset before? What if you found me and…and Ron up in my room like that?" Draco pondered the thought and found it made his blood boil, she saw this and blushed lightly.

"I get it now. I do," He lifted his finger and ran it across her jaw as a small smirk crossed his lips, "Still you should've knocked Granger."

"Don't you start with that again," She said with a small smile as she poked him in the chest, "Now can we please sleep? It's been so long…" She said softly and he nodded as he put out the fire with his wand. He pulled off his shirt and Hermione saw that his arm was still bandaged as he slipped into bed next to her. It was then she did something she hadn't done before. Normally they fell asleep apart and woke up together, but now she moved over close to him and rested her head against his shoulder, shutting her eyes, "I've just been so sad lately…" Draco closed his eyes at her touch and reached down to lightly grasp her hand in his, a silent, protective gesture as both fell into deep, relaxing sleep that they had missed so much.

In the morning Hermione's opened and she found Draco staring at her. Not only was he doing that, but in the night they had once more become entangled, his arm wrapped around her waist and they were extremely close. Hermione took a deep breath as their eyes met, last time they were this close it had been for that kiss which had turned her world upside-down. Now she didn't know what to do. And she did the only thing she could, look back into those gray eyes that compelled her so much. Clearly he could sense how nervous she felt, but his was expertly masked. A small, barely audible smile crossed his lips.

"You've really got it bad for me haven't you Granger?" With those words she made a disgusted noise and sat up, looking down at him. He smirked as he leaned up on his elbow, his hand still on her waist but she pushed it off.

"Do you ever get over yourself?" She said and he laughed softly.

"Guess I don't," He said in a cocky voice as he sat up facing her, and still she didn't move, "Come on, you know you haven't been able to forget that kiss. I can see it in your eyes. You fancy me don't you?" She made a face at him as he said this, could he really read her so easily?

"I don't fancy you. And as for that kiss it meant nothing. You were the one who kissed me, remember?" She leaned in closer to him and his eyes widened slightly, "You could do it again too and it would still mean absolutely nothing."

"Is that so Granger?" He said in a devilish voice. Before Hermione could respond he leaned into her, his hand reaching up to cup her neck as once more his lips met hers. She inhaled sharply in surprise, leaning back at first but then closing her eyes as she gave in to him, there was no use in fighting it. Her hands lightly touched his chest as he moved in closer, his eager lips working with expert skill against hers. He was just so warm and soft…kissing Draco Malfoy was extremely pleasant she found, maybe even better the second time now he had chosen to do it. And he smelled so good. Her heart still beat wildly as he pressed his lips to hers. He lightened the kiss and pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against hers for a moment before lightly grazing his lips to hers again. He lingered there a moment before pulling back, her eyes wide with emotion as she looked at him and even he had trouble hiding what he felt, "Nothing at all?" He asked with a small smirk but it gave her great pleasure when his voice broke slightly.

"No….nothing at all…" She said very softly, a clear lie as they stared at each other. He pulled his hand back and smiled genuinely at her, a look that lit up his face and it surprised her.

"That's what I thought."

*******

_I'm fucked…so fucked. Why did I kiss her again? _Draco thought to himself as he paced his room. This wouldn't do, not at all. Because he knew now, for sure, that what he felt for Hermione Granger was much more than what he thought, that kiss had confirmed that. And feeling this way could ruin everything for him, and so he decided to continue his attempts. If he succeeded it would make everything ok, it would go no farther. But still he thought of what Pansy said, maybe there was no use in denying the inevitable anymore.

He ended up in the Common Room one afternoon, knowing he would have to act fast in case Hermione showed up. She was at the library though and he thought that at least would buy him some time. He grabbed a solid chair and placed it near the fireplace as he stood on it, raising his wand to make the ceiling morph into the shape of a sturdy hook. Yes, that would do. He waved it again as a strong length of cord appeared in his hand and he flung it over the hook, quickly fashioning himself a noose with his shaking hands. This would work. It had to.

He took a deep breath and shut his eyes, before the thought of killing himself had made him so much happier and now he resented it. Because every time he shut his eyes she was there lingering in his tormented head. He pushed the thought of her back as he slipped the noose around his neck. This was it, this had to work. Or at least, he hoped like hell it would. With one last look towards the door he stepped off the chair as he body fell quickly, feet dangling off the ground as his neck gave a horrid snap. His eyes closed as his feet dangled, everything felt dizzy, dark. It was working. He knew it had to be. Death was coming…he was finally free. A distant noise rang in his ears but he ignored it as a small smile crossed his lips. "DRACO!" His name. Being yelled. But by who? He opened his blurred eyes and saw the image of her before him, impossible. Hermione Granger had said his name. And now she would watch him die.

********

"DIFFINDO!" Hermione bellowed as she pointed her wand at the cord that hung around Draco's neck and it snapped as he fell in a heap on the floor. As he fell both the cord and the magically summoned hook vanished from site. Hermione felt tears spill over her eyes as she ran over to him and fell beside him. He lay facedown so she carefully turned him over, his face was blank, "Don't die Malfoy, please don't die…" Her tears fell freely as she gazed at his crooked, broken neck, his empty face. This was too much. Why? Why had he tried to kill himself? She covered her face with her hands as she sobbed, wishing this wasn't true, wishing she hadn't seen him dangling there, limp and lost. The sudden sensation of a hand against her cheek made her take her trembling hands from her face and look down at Draco whose eyes had refocused and he was looking at her. Hermione gasped.

"Say my name again…" He whispered as he slowly moved to sit up, his neck still twisted as her eyes widened in mere shock.

"Draco…." She complied as she watched him, still stunned. He closed his eyes and stretched as his neck moved back to it's proper position, another crack sounding as it quickly fixed itself. He opened his eyes and looked at her as she broke down crying again, "But I saw your neck…I saw you.." She tried to say through her tears. Then he realized that she actually did care for him, maybe more then anyone else had ever cared, and that touched him more than he could say. So instead he pulled her into his arms and wrapped his arms tightly around her, burying his face into her neck as she too clung to him tightly, trying best to calm her shaking, crying body.

"There's something very wrong with me Hermione…." At the sound of her name she inhaled sharply and he shushed her, "But I don't think I can tell you."

"I need answers Draco….You can't just do this to me and expect it to be ok. Not after everything." She said back softly and he nodded as he pulled her closer and shut his eyes, taking in her sweet scent. Now he realized how happy he truly was that he didn't succeed, this was much better than controlling his own death, this was life.

"I'll tell you. But there's just so much…" He said back and she sniffled, having stopped crying. She felt so reassured in his strong arms, and she hung on for dear life now. Nothing could keep her from his arms, except maybe the Chosen One himself and neither one had heard him come in. It was only when Harry yelled out to them did they both spring apart in surprise.

"So this is why you can't be with Ron? Because you're too busy holed up here with Malfoy?" Harry nearly yelled as he pointed his wand at Draco who stood up and drew his own wand, any emotion gone from his face except hatred. Hermione stood and moved towards Harry, not wanting either of them to do anything, "I come here to try and work things out and I find this? I thought something was going on but not this…not fucking this…"

"This doesn't concern you Potter…" Draco hissed as he stared at Harry, furious and somewhat grateful that he'd interrupted. He doubted that he was ready to tell Hermione anything yet.

"Harry it isn't what you think…honestly it isn't." Hermione pleaded with her friend who cast her an angry glare.

"It isn't Hermione? Then what is it? Feel free to explain." Harry retorted and Hermione fell silent. She couldn't explain. And as Draco cast her a worried glance she knew she wouldn't say anything about the way she had found him and now Draco knew that too.

"She's free to do what she wants with who she wants, just because she isn't shagging your little side kick doesn't give you that right to come in here and act like a bloody judge. Go back to playing hero Potter it suits you better." Draco spat and Harry moved closer, wand pointed at Draco's chest.

"You! Of all people she chose you…." Harry shook his head slightly in disbelief, "I'm sick of all the talk. I'm sick of saving your ass every time you decide to play the coward. I'm ending this the same way I should've ended it months ago…." Harry voice was dark and Draco laughed coldly.

"Go ahead Potter, be a man for once." Draco said sarcastically and Hermione's eyes widened as she moved towards Harry. Noble as he was Harry wouldn't be against doing something rash, she knew that well enough.

"HARRY NO!" She yelled as she saw him began to open his mouth but he didn't stop. They'd both gone much too far this time. And it was her fault.

"SECTUMSEMPRA!" Harry yelled as a flash of red light burst from his wand and hit the wide-eyed Draco square in the chest who was flung back across the room and fell in a bloody mass on the floor. Hermione let out a scream and pulled out her wand. She couldn't take this, not again.

"GET OUT HARRY!" She yelled as she pointed her wand at him and he looked at her in shock.

"Hermione you have to be kidding me…you're choosing him over us? You can't be…."

"Try me! He stuck by me when you didn't. He saved me from Ron. He's been there. And I swear to god if he dies I'll make you pay for it. Now get out! I'll curse you and won't think twice about it." Hermione's eyes were blazing with fury as she pointed her wand at his throat. Harry lowered his wand and still looked at her in disbelief.

"I guess you've decided then haven't you?" Harry said softly as he stepped back and she lowered her shaking hand, glancing back at Draco who was motionless.

"Yes. I guess I have," Hermione said with tears in her eyes. This hurt, more than she thought it ever would. But right now she had to make a choice, and she chose the boy who had been there, the one who cared so strangely about her, the one who needed her to save his life, "Now get out Harry, and don't come back!" She said quickly and he looked at her one last time before turning and walking out of the Common Room, slamming the portrait close behind him. Hermione blinked back her tears as she ran over to Draco. Blood pooled around him as it flowed freely from his chest and he had gone pale. She touched him and gasped at how cold he had grown. His eyes were shut and he wasn't waking up. Maybe there was no magical remedy cure he would perform. This time Harry may've succeeded in using the Prince's curse to destroy Malfoy. Either way Hermione stared down at his bleeding form and believed thoroughly this would be the end of whatever she had with Draco Malfoy.


	5. Down the Rabbit Hole

**AN: I know it's been really long and I'm sorry! But I have time now and can actually type. I hate this chapter by the way. The next one will be great and very eye opening. Keep telling me your thoughts and I love you all. Sorry again for being gone so long, I will definitely finish this story. 3**

_May I never become unloved by you. May you never have to know my shadows by the name. You're my heroine and you're a rose in my tea. May I never become unloved by you. May I always be on my way to you. May I never have to meet the man I'd be alone. I'm your criminal and you're my only friend. May I always be on my way to you. Cause I'm scared, scared of myself. Oh, I'm scared, scared of myself without you. I have found a way to watch over you. I have found a way to face the burden of my dreams, they are crooked but they're,well they're all I have. I have found a way to watch over you. Yes, I'm scared scared of myself. Oh, I'm scared, scared of myself without you. Cause I'm scared, scared of myself without you. Without you. -Scared of Myself_

"Draco! Draco!" Hermione called out his name as she grabbed her wand, unsure of what exactly she would do. The Hospital Wing was her first thought, but would she make it in time? "I'm going to get help…" She said softly, almost as if to no one because she wasn't even sure if he could hear her. Yet as she began to get up a hand reached out and grabbed her wrist tightly, pulling her in. Hermione's eyes widened in shock as she felt how strong his grip was, gazing down at his agonized gray eyes as he pulled her in close.

"Don't bring me to the Hospital Wing. They can't know…." He hissed at her and she nodded, not daring to waste anymore time. He wanted her to save him and she would do her best, she knew that anyway. His shaking hand released her wrist as he gritted his teeth, "Bloody hell! Guess other people can hurt me," He said as she quickly ripped open his shirt and he frowned, "I fancied that shirt Granger…or are we on a first name basis now?" Despite his pale, clearly pained expression, he smiled and brushed his fingertips against her collarbone but she swatted his hand away, a blush coming to her cheeks.

"Not now…for Merlin's sake…" She muttered as she gazed down at the damage. Huge gashes had been ripped into his pale chest and the site nearly made her dizzy as she raised her wand and pointed it at his wounds, beginning to run it back and forth as if stitching his skin back together. His fists clenched as he shut his eyes, trying to mask his pain, "Take my hand," Her voice was soft and that alone made his eyes open in slight surprise at the request and he did, squeezing it for support and she squeezed back as she mended what she could. The job she had done wasn't the best, but it would help somewhat. She didn't spend months hunting the most evil wizard alive without some useful healing spells up her sleeve, "It isn't much…but it'll do."

"Why did you pick me?" He asked as they both had stood up, him holding his ruined shirt as Hermione said 'scourgify' to clean up all the blood he had left on the floor. At this question, she froze, "Me of all people. I've been nothing but an ass to you but you chose me over them. I want to know why." And once more she found herself face to face with him, no borders, no barriers, just truth.

"Before you said you were the only one on my side, and I think you were right. There's just…something in you, something changed or different. Something about you that I can't place. And after everything that's happened today, I think I at least deserve some answers. You should've died, twice," Hermione responded and for a moment both simply stared into each others eyes, "You can't keep me in the dark forever."

"Can't I? This is way over your head Granger…" He said darkly as he turned away from her but Hermione reached out her hand and grabbed his arm. He turned back to her.

"Don't do this…please. I know you may think I'm your enemy, or maybe just some girl that helps you sleep but I want to be your friend too. This isn't exactly easy for me either…" A small, almost sad smile crossed her lips, "But you might have to trust me, hard as that is, because unlike most people I wouldn't betray you. Could you believe that?" He stood in silence as he looked at her, his face nearly unreadable. After a few moments he spoke.

"What are your plans for Christmas Granger?" He looked at her curiously and Hermione didn't quite understand

"Well I was supposed to go to the Burrow because my parents wanted to go away, but I suppose I'll be staying here now, after everything." Hermione said softly and she looked down, now focusing back on what Harry had done. Now her best friends really had gone against her. What a turn of events this year had been so far.

"No…I have a better proposition for you." Malfoy replied as he crossed his arms and looked at her with a slight smirk. The tone of his voice made her blush, although it seemed she already knew what he may be planning. And the most important part…would she comply?

*************

Hermione Granger took a deep breath as she walked into Professor McGonagall's office. Draco had indeed asked her the one thing she feared he would….spend Christmas alone with him, at the Malfoy Manor. It made sense, which may've been the worse part. After the incident with Harry there was no way she would fix her problems and go to the Burrow. Her other option was to either stay at school alone or go home alone, and neither thrilled her. Plus the idea of spending the holiday alone with Draco both intrigued and terrified her. After watching him defy death twice her curiosity had peaked, but would staying with him give her answers or just more confusion? Regardless of what her mind thought she decided to follow what her gut told her to do. Which was why she was now standing before McGonagall.

"Professor I'd like permission to go with Draco Malfoy back to his home during Christmas break." She spoke promptly, quite proud of how direct she had spoken. The reality was she was nervous, what would McGonagall think of her spending so much time unprotected and alone with Malfoy?

"Why Ms. Granger…what has caused your change in heart?" McGonagall asked as she peered over her glasses up at Hermione, "I thought you'd be headed for the Burrow."

"That was my original plan yes…but it changed. Malfoy asked me to go home with him and I'd rather go with him then back to the Weasley's. I just wanted to inform you first." As Hermione said this McGonagall stood up and looked at her curiously before gazing around the room a moment and then back at Hermione.

"Does this mean Mr. Malfoy may be involved in something?" McGonagall raised an eyebrow, "I wasn't keen on letting a former Death Eater back into Hogwarts and if you can find just cause I will not hesitate to expel him."

"No Professor I don't think it's anything bad…" Hermione said softly, finding it odd to be talking about Draco to someone else. But she honestly didn't believe he was into something bad, or a least, she hoped he wasn't, "There is something up with him and I think that going with him might get me some answers.

"Then by all means Ms. Granger, go," Hermione smiled as McGonagall said this but the older woman gave her a warning glance, "But tread carefully. We don't know what he may be capable of and although I know you can take care of yourself I must advise caution."

"Of course Professor, I understand."

*************

"Can you just hold still?"

"Couldn't wait to get me shirtless again could you Granger?" Malfoy's steely gray gaze looked at her devilishly as Hermione pulled up his shirt to look at the wounds Harry had given him, not without giving him a decent glare first however, "I'm fine." He added in a dull tone as Hermione's eyes went to his pale chest and saw the deep, sewn up slashes that should've killed him and frowned.

"I still don't understand…" She muttered to herself and Draco sighed as he pulled his shirt back down and got off his bed, throwing some things into a bag. It was a few days until Christmas and Hermione had already packed. She tried best not to think about the situation much in fear of causing herself to blush ferociously.

"You don't have to. Now will you go get your things? I'd like to leave here before the holiday ends if you don't mind." Draco said as he slung his bag over his shoulder and looked back at her as she stood up.

"I'm already packed. I shrunk my things for easier carrying." She smiled slightly and Draco rolled his eyes.

"Show off…" He replied with a small grin as they walked out of his room and down into the Common Room, "You think Potter and his boyfriend know where you're off to?"

"I think they might assume it as much, thick as they can be." Hermione sighed and looked away from Draco. It was silent for a few moments before she heard him drop his things and walk over to her. His fingertips lightly touched her chin and lifted it so their eyes met once more.

"Look Granger, I'm not making you go with me or anything. You want to go off with your lot I'll understand. I just figured you wouldn't want to be alone or deal with them on Christmas," Hermione looked into his eyes as he spoke and saw no humor in them, but truth, "Besides Granger, you're….bearable."

"I think it may be you who doesn't want to spend Christmas alone….this whole 'I don't care thing'…" Hermione began to say but he pulled his hand away and grabbed his bag, his face becoming expressionless again as he moved towards the door.

"We're not getting into that here…" His said in a low voice as he opened the door but her voice froze him.

"I want to go with you. Even if I wasn't fighting with Ron and Harry….I would still have picked you." As she said this he turned back slightly and looked at her, his eyes unreadable.

"Come on then, I'd like to get there before dark." And with that Hermione followed Draco out of their Tower and silently through Hogwarts. As they walked outside snow was already falling. Hermione wrapped her coat tighter around her as they walked towards Hogsmeade so they could properly Apparate. Other students were doing the same and getting some shopping done. Hermione bit her lip softly at this. She had already gotten Draco a present. After spending so much time with him she learned he had a love for music and an ear for it too. She had ordered an acoustic guitar that was delivered to Hogsmeade. She taken care to hide it and bring it with her, but the real question was, did he get something for her?

"Granger you're freezing!" Malfoy said to her as he turned to her, she was too lost in her own thoughts to care that she was shaking with the cold, "Bloody hell…" He muttered as he pulled off his cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. Hermione fought back a blush as she was enveloped in his scent and the warmth the cloak emanated.

"Thanks," She said quickly and he nodded as he grabbed her shoulders and she looked up at him confused, "What are you doing?"

"Side along apparition. I'd rather not risk having you splinch something because you're lack of knowledge of how to get there," He replied dully and she nodded, still a bit dazed by the fact he had given her his cloak. Their eyes met for an instant before they disappeared in a pop, landing in the foyer of the Malfoy Manor seconds later. Draco steadied her before letting go of her shoulders and as Hermione looked around she felt a sudden sense of pain. Last time she had been here she was being tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange, "You alright?"

"This place is full of ghosts isn't it?" She said with a small, weak laugh and he looked back at her with a slight frown, realizing why she looked so upset. He moved closer to her and looked into her eyes, searching for answer.

"They're gone. Everyone. All the Death Eater bastards either got killed or chucked into Azkaban where they belong. All except me. I'm the only Death Eater here." A cold, dark smile crossed his lips as he stepped away from her and looked around. As nice as the house was it was still depressingly empty and vacant.

"You're not a Death Eater. And I'm certainly not scared of you. It's what they left behind that's getting to me." As Hermione said this their eyes met again and he frowned slightly.

"I'm not saying it's easy living here, I try and avoid it, but it'll be better that we're here together. I would've gone mental if I had to stay in this place alone," There was a deep set, hidden pain within his gaze but he hid it well, "But memories won't hurt you, not even the ones lingering here. Now come on, I'll show you your room." He said quickly as he turned to head for the stairs but she grabbed his arm.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression we'd be…well…sharing a room?" The last bit she said quickly, nearly in whisper which made Draco crack a grin as he looked at her.

"Well Granger I don't exactly fancy insomnia so I was hoping you'd still be mental enough to share a bed with me. But here I didn't even know you'd want to share a bathroom and get dressed in the same room. I know you're dying to see me naked." At his smirk Hermione promptly released his arm and glared at him.

"Fine then you intolerable git, show me my room."

"Aw I love it when you get all flustered," He said in a mocking tone as she flushed scarlet and he lead her upstairs and down the hall to a big door, "Here's where you can put your things. Promise no one too nasty stayed in here."

"Thanks…." Hermione said softly as he opened the door and stepped inside as she peered around, but as he turned to leave she stopped him, "Malfoy…are you ever going to let me in on what's going on with you?" For a brief moment he froze, hoping she had forgotten what she had seen but he knew that was impossible for her. Instead he looked back at her, face expressionless as he did.

"Yeah. I suppose I might…" His voice was soft as he eyes looked away from hers and she nodded slightly. After a moment he looked back up into her gaze, "But then again why should I tell you anything?"

"But you said you would before…." She said softly as they met each other's gazes and he sighed.

"Just come down for dinner in a half hour ok? The elves are already cooking." And with that he vanished from her room, leaving Hermione standing there without much hope within her.

*********

Hermione quickly found that she did not like the Malfoy Manor. It was cold, empty, dark, and depressing. Part of her regretted not staying at Hogwarts, but then all her Draco-related thoughts came streaming back and she hoped that maybe this trip would help in some way, it had to. She walked back downstairs and turned toward the end of a hallway where she saw a door ajar, firelight, streaming through. She walked in awkwardly and saw it was a dining room, but something was a bit off. The long, expensive table that usually sat in front of the fireplace had been moved against the wall and there was a blanket laid out in front of the fireplace. She walked over curiously and saw nice plates set down, silverware, glasses….as she observed she didn't hear Draco walk in, "Hope you don't mind picnics." He said dully and she turned to look at him, slightly confused.

"Why exactly are we having one?"

"I don't personally fancy eating on a table I saw the Dark Lord torture and kill people on. You want to, be my guest." He said this somewhat sharply and she frowned as she sat down on the blanket and he followed suit and sat across from her.

"You do know we're alone here. This whole bastard act you seem so eager to put on doesn't have to be enforced. It's just you and me." As she said this it seemed as if a slight realization was in his gray eyes but it faded fast as food appeared in front of them.

"I know that Granger…" He said in a low voice as he looked up into her eyes, "But old habits die hard don't they?" He said this with a slight smirk as he took a sip of the wine that had appeared before him and she scowled. For awhile they didn't talk, just ate, she didn't want to fight with him. She knew she was too stubborn and he was too impossible. After awhile she sighed as she looked around the dark, empty room.

"Your house could really use some decorating. It's almost Christmas after all." At these words he looked at her somewhat curiously.

"My family was never big on the spirit of Christmas, but we have some things."

"We can start our own tradition then." She replied with a small smile but it only made him look at her with sadness in his gaze, and she didn't understand why. But to him, she was ruining everything.

"I dunno about that, but it'll help pass the time. Come on, it's all stored up in the attic." He stood up and held out his hand to help her up and she took it, hiding a blush when he didn't release it. His warm hand engulfed hers as he silently lead her further up into the house to find decorations. She didn't ask why he held her hand because she didn't want him to ruin it. Clearly he needed someone as much as he tried to deny it. They entered the attic and Hermione's eyes widened. This was more of a store than an attic. He brought her over to a corner that was piled with Christmas decorations, "The house elves already brought trees in, but we have ornaments, garland….all as tasteful as mother could find of course." He said the last part somewhat bitterly as he released Hermione's hand and started to hand her lighter boxes as he took the heavy ones.

"Well at least we can brighten this place up," Hermione said as they lugged all the things they could back downstairs and into the foyer where the elves had set up a massive tree. Draco went around lighting more candles as Hermione began to open dusty boxes filled with ornaments, "This is going to take hours in such a massive house, you know that right?"

"It's all part of my plan to exhaust the hell out of us so we get some sleep," He smirked at her as she hid a blush and began to hang ornaments on the tree. He began to wrap garland around. Surprisingly enough the process of decorating the Malfoy Manor proved to be a decent bonding experience for the two of them. More than once he got tied up trying to wrap the garland or she would nearly break a priceless ornament and they both couldn't help but laugh. And it did help to not only lighten the mood, but also make the Manor more inviting. Finally after hours had passed, Draco saw Hermione trying to fight off a yawn, "Let's go upstairs, don't need you passing out on me."

"Fine, fine…" She said stubbornly as they went up to his room, Hermione had already changed into pajamas, and Draco opened his door. He stopped and looked up at the top of the door frame with slight surprise in his eyes. It was then Hermione realized what was there. Mistletoe, "Did you hang that there?" She asked quickly and he crossed his arms.

"Please Granger if I wanted to kiss you so badly I simply would," He spoke casually and Hermione shot him a glare, "I may've mentioned you were a fan of house elves to the ones here. And Tillie is mental about me 'settling down'." Draco frowned slightly at the thought.

"It's probably infested with gnarles. If you believe in that sort of thing," As the words left her lips sadness filled her heart. It reminded her too much of her friends, "Guess we should take it down or avoid it then shouldn't we?"

"Actually Granger you have a choice to make here," Draco moved so he was directly below the mistletoe, leaving her room to walk by if she wished, "You can choose to step under this with me and really see if my kisses mean nothing to you, or you can walk into my room and forget the whole mess. I'll give you ten seconds. One. Two…" Hermione froze as he began to count, was he serious? "Three. Four. Might do you some good to be a little bad. Five."

"I think you're the one who'd like to kiss me, much more than I want to kiss you."

"Six…maybe yes, maybe no. Either way you just confessed to wanting to kiss me." He said with a wicked smirk and she bit her lip. _Bastard_…, "Seven. Eight. Cutting it close here Granger. Nine." As he spoke the second to last number she had already made her decision. Because she realized she did want him, more than she could explain or bothered to figure out. And she stepped beside him in the doorway before he could utter the final number. His eyes widened slightly as she looked up unblinkingly into his eyes. His hand came up to her cheek as his thumb brushed her skin and he leaned in. Just before his lips found hers she pulled back slightly and he froze where he was.

"I confessed now you. Tell me the truth." As she whispered these words his arm came down and snaked around her waist, pulling her against him as their faces were barely inches apart.

"Is this truth enough for you?" He snarled in a low, dangerous voice as his lips collided with hers. This wasn't a kiss to hide from Ron, or one of a challenge, this was true and passionate. Hermione's arms moved around his lithe frame as he pressed into her, caressing her lips passionately with his. Once more she felt as if she was on fire or her whole body weightless. Even the one, near perfect kiss she had once had with Ron didn't compare with this. Because this was forbidden and right, it was dark and beautiful. It was two enemies forgetting the past in one single, solitary moment of not being alone in the world that had shown them both such pain. And after a moment of clinging desperately to the boy in front of her and he to her, he pulled back slightly, lightly pecking at her lips before pulling back and looking into her eyes. And she was surprised at what she saw there. Not pain. Not sadness. Not amusement or wickedness. But fear. And as he stepped back away from her and into his room, his back to her, she felt empty then. And she knew he felt it too and something else she didn't understand, but she wanted to. She wanted to know it all.

"Can we both agree on one thing if nothing else?" At these words he turned to face her and they knew this was it, time to display the words they had kept hidden for so long, "I have feelings for you, you have feelings for me. Twisted and wrong as it is we do right? And don't make a joke about how much I want you to try and run from this. No more running." She moved into his room and his eyes remained locked on her.

"Is that what you want? Me to let loose my feelings like Weasley? Well fuck that. If you haven't already figured out how I feel for you then clearly being first in our class is a bad bloody title for you Granger." He spoke somewhat angrily and turned away from her, grabbing a flask from one of his bags and took a long swig. Hermione didn't quite know to say for a moment after he spoke.

"Then why are you making this so hard? Why are you so cruel?"

"Fuck Granger! Don't you know who you're dealing with? Tiger doesn't change it's bloody stripes. And you drive me fucking crazy! Why do you think I mess with your head and send little piece of shit first years to deliver you roses? It's because I feel for you Granger, a damn lot more than I should. And I do make it difficult because I don't want to like you. I can't." Hermione fought to keep her jaw from dropping as he spoke, there it was, the truth, and he spoke it with big, bright eyes. And still she didn't understand.

"But why can't you? Is it because of who I am? What I am…" Her voice softened and he moved closer to her, sighing.

"No…it isn't that…it, well, it might be better if I showed you. Then maybe you'd understand. But everything's going to change," Hermione looked into his eyes and saw all those painful, fearful looks within them and was worried about what he planned to do, "I need to make a pensieve. It's the only way." And for the first time Hermione would know exactly what Draco was thinking because she'd be right there, in his memories, in his head.


	6. The Curse of Memory

**AN: I'm quick, and I forgot how much I loved this story until I started typing it again =). I love you guys too for reading this and making me eager to type more with the reviews. I think this may be the shortest chapter, but it's long anticipated...you're going to find out what's happening with Draco. Next one will be great too. Just wait till you see what he gets Hermione for Christmas and a bunch of other crazy things involving Harry, Ron, Lucius, and Narcissa. Enjoy, and let me know what you think. 3**

_We're all demons today. Come down and feel the pain. It burns straight through you and makes a hole in your soul. I don't care what you've been told and now I carry you. And as a soldier of misfortune, an ultimate doomsayer. I want you to feel. And I know you will. And everything you see will bleed straight through, reveal the truth. Anything can happen, you say. I never tried to get it. I never tried to fit in. And now I'm falling through. I'm human too you know, everything, soul's dead. I'm human too you know. Talented, scavengers...I know there is no use to pray. I am a demon today. -Today We Are All Demons_

"You can't go back from this. You won't be able to forget what I'm about to show you. You should change your mind now," Draco's face was solemn as he pulled a stone basin from under his bed, clearly he had stored it away from his father's collections, "Remember, I warned you."

"I'm not afraid," Hermione said quickly wanting him to know that right away, "I'm here for you, like it or not, and I can't help unless you let me know what's going on." He saw the unfailing look in her gaze and knew she wouldn't turn back. He sighed as he pointed his wand at the basin and it began to fill with glowing white-blue liquid.

"I just hope you'll be able to forgive what you'll see…" He said in a near whisper as he didn't dare meet her gaze. Instead he pointed the tip of his wand against his temple and extracted a long, silvery strand of memory and swirled it into the glowing bowl and she looked up at him, "I'll be right beside you." He said as if reading her mind, she didn't want to do this without him there. He looked back down at the basin as if gesturing her to enter his memory and she was much too curious to hesitate any longer. Slowly she lowered her face into the basin and instantly felt the sensation of weightless falling. She gasped slightly as her feet collided with ground and she nearly fell, but strong hands came up to steady her and she glanced back and saw Draco standing there, very stoic and dark faced. Without a word she took his hand and he welcomed it, his eyes focused ahead of him and now Hermione began to watch as his memory formed around them.

*******

"_You should be proud Lucius, your son will have a chance to redeem not only his childish mistake but also your family name. And yet you stand with fear before me….distaste even. Do I sense bitterness within my once most trusted follower?" Voldemort's snakelike voice echoed through the dark dining room of the Malfoy Manor, even hearing it sent chills up Hermione's spine. Lucius Malfoy stood before the dark wizard who sat in a large armchair in front of the fireplace, Nagini slithering loyally at his feet, the same place Hermione had just eaten dinner. Her stomach clenched._

"_My Lord…I hold no bitterness towards you. I offer you my home, my family, my life for your most noble of a cause. The only bitterness I feel is towards Draco's failure at the original task you set out for him. Luckily Severus was there to perform the necessary…" Lucius spoke dark, his body tense, worn. The usual splendor that he gave off was missing, clearly times had turned dark for the Malfoy's in the eyes of the Dark Lord._

"_Very well Lucius. I know you have been disheartened by your fall from my graces. But if Draco does indeed succeed, then your family's worth will once more be heightened in my eyes. Now, shall we bring him in?" Voldemort said somewhat amused, a darkness in his red eyes as he waved his wand and the door to the dining room flew open, revealing Draco who clearly had been listening. Hermione frowned when she saw him. There were black circles under his eyes, his hair slightly disheveled, and he looked tired, weak. This could not have been long after the death of Dumbledore. Despite being caught eavesdropping, Draco walked with his head held up, his face a perfect mask as he entered the room and bowed to Voldemort._

"_My Lord," Draco said in a low voice as he rose and looked at Voldemort, but Hermione knew he was avoiding his eyes, "What do you want of me?"_

"_Draco…" Voldemort said with a slight smirk as he beckoned him forward and Draco went and walked past his father to stand before the dark wizard, "You failed me in murdering Albus Dumbledore. But do you know why you still stand here before me? My Mark still on your arm? It is because I expected you to fail Draco, I knew you hadn't the courage to perform the deed. And in doing so, you have disgraced your family, caused them torture and pain…is that any way to repay your parents for giving you life?" Draco couldn't speak, he couldn't look at Voldemort, the Dark Lord leaned forward, "I thought not. But I shall give you another chance, because Lord Voldemort is forgiving….You will go to the home of Remus and Nymphadora Lupin and you will kill the Werewolf and Auror while they sleep."_

"_They'll have defenses…protection…" Lucius hissed and Voldemort shot him a malicious glance as the man spoke up. _

"_Hold your tongue Lucius. Do you believe I am unaware of the obstacles? Draco will be taking the Undectable Amulet. Whatever enchantments they have produced will be nothing for the stone to surpass," As Voldemort said this he took a large, emerald stone hanging from a silver chain and handed it to Draco. Hermione gasped, knowing it's rarity, "Do you accept my request?" And with the eyes of the two men he feared the most on him, Draco slipped on the necklace._

"_Yes My Lord. I accept." Hermione gasped as she heard this, turning to the real Draco who wouldn't meet her gaze. He had just agreed to go kill two people she loved…he was ashamed. Before she could say anything the memory began to fade like black smoke around them, dissolving into another. His hand still held hers as they now stood in front of an old house on an even older street. Hermione didn't recognize the place but once she saw Draco in his memory appear with the amulet around his neck she knew it was where Lupin and Tonks lived. She and the present Draco walked closer as the memory Draco walked through the gate and peered in the window. It was then Hermione saw his face, it was agonized._

_He drew his wand from his pocket as he gazed at Lupin with his arm around Tonks, their faces somewhat somber as they scanned the Prophet together. Draco frowned. It was then he noticed the impossible. Tonks brought her hand to her round stomach and a small smile appeared on her lips as she grabbed Lupin's hand to feel, grudgingly he too smiled. She was pregnant with Teddy. Memory Draco moved quickly away from the window, trying to catch his breath, he was shaking. Hermione watched with sadness as he wiped away the tears forming in his eyes and took a deep breath. She knew he didn't kill them…but knowing he was supposed to made her feel awful. Especially seeing them now in this memory, alive and well, hurt. They waited and soon enough the two future parents went to bed and Draco snuck in, Hermione and the present Draco following. He squeezed her hand as they followed him upstairs and into the bedroom where Lupin and Tonks slept soundly in each other's arms. Once more Draco pulled out his wand and pointed it at them, his hand shaking furiously as he did. She watched as he tried hard to summon the words but they wouldn't come, he was no killer. And instead he broke into silent, dry, hysterical sobs that made him nearly breathless. Hermione wanted to comfort the real Draco, tell him it was okay, but before she could the memory began to change again._

_*********_

"_You have failed me, Draco." Voldemort's voice came like venom through the empty air as the scene around them evolved. Hermione found tears in her eyes. He'd failed. He'd been human. And he would suffer for it. She saw Draco forced to his knees in front of Voldemort who stood with his wand pointed at his chest, gazing with a dark look down at the young Death Eater._

"_She was pregnant…I couldn't…." Draco whimpered softly and Voldemort let out a yell of rage as he slashed his wand in the air and a deep scratch cut itself across Draco's chest. Hermione moved closer to the one beside her, trying to ease her mind. _

"_SILENCE!" The Dark Lord bellowed as Draco's blood dripped onto the stone floor, "Your actions will not be without consequence. You showed compassion towards the enemy and for that, you should pay. But I feel…generous today. Bring in Narcissa!" He hissed as the dining room doors opened and the Death Eater Nott lead Narcissa Malfoy in by her arm, gripping it tightly. He pushed her towards Voldemort and grinned as he bowed his head and stepped back to block the door._

"_My Lord it was my mistake. My weakness. Surely doing this to my mother would teach me nothing." Draco said quickly as Hermione saw him try to mask his fear. It was then she knew how cruel Voldemort planned to be._

"_Oh I believe it shall teach you something. Your actions have consequences Draco, it is something you did not learn when you failed in killing Dumbledore. And now you can watch me torture your mother for what you've done," Voldemort was searching for weakness, a slip in his composure but Draco held strong. Narcissa too kept her silence but Hermione saw mother and son's eyes meet and the look that passed between them could've broken her heart, "A pity Draco, I had such high hopes for you," Voldemort raised his wand and pointed it at the woman as he hissed: "Crucio!" Narcissa tried to fight but it was pointless as she let out a bloodcurdling cry and her limbs twisted unnaturally. Draco's fists were clenched and even the boy beside her was tense with rage and pain at what he was re-witnessing. Minutes passed as Voldemort would pull back the curse only to cast it again with a dark vengeance. Hermione knew Draco was going to break._

"_Stop." He said in a ghost of a voice and Voldemort let Narcissa drop to the floor as he looked at Draco. He lowered his wand and stepped closer to him, staring into his eyes and for once Draco stared right back._

"_I sense…bravery…something your spineless father has had me doubt heavily within you…..Draw your wand." He said quickly and Draco did as he was told, Hermione watched with wide eyes, "Show me your courage Draco, prove me wrong. I shall give you a third and final chance to find redemption and restore your family's name," Voldemort moved up and put a hand against Draco's back and led him over to his mother who was still lying on the ground, weak, and looking up at them, "Torture her Draco…" Voldemort whispered in his ear, "And all shall be forgiven. I will not regret bringing you into my family. You will be a god again…" Hermione wasn't breathing, maybe because she knew what he would do. She prayed she was wrong. But as Draco pointed his wand at his mother it was almost too much to bear. _

"_Crucio…" He said softly but it didn't take, he didn't mean it, he couldn't mean it._

"_More Draco…louder…" Voldemort hissed into the boy's ear._

"_Crucio!" Draco yelled, fighting tears as he did, wanting keep his composure but the look in his mother's eyes was impossible. It still wasn't taking, "Crucio! Crucio! Fucking Crucio!" And with that last yell, Narcissa Malfoy was forced into the air and twisted as she let out a cry of pain and Draco echoed it as he watched his mother and suddenly he threw his wand to the ground and she fell with it, "I can't…I can't do this…" _

"_Then you truly are unworthy. A disgrace to your once great name," With these words Voldemort brought his wand up and flung it in the air, Draco mimicking the movement as he was flung into a wall. Narcissa had fallen unconscious as this occurred. Voldemort brought his wand back and began to slam Draco into anything he could, walls, tables, chairs…cuts and bruising began to form. Draco tried to remain silent as he felt ribs and bones crack, pure agony, "This is only the beginning…" Voldemort said to Draco as he laid in a bruised, bleeding mass on the floor and he walked out of the dining room with Nott, leaving the Malfoy's alone on the floor. Hermione turned towards Draco again, hoping to talk, to soothe, to something but the memory began to change again and he was quiet. _

_********_

_As the smoky images began to form, Hermione realized they were once more standing in the dining room. The Death Eaters Rookwood and Avery guarded the door as Draco, Lucius, and Narcissa stood once more before Voldemort. Time had passed, month maybe, Hermione could tell by how drained the family looked, how different the air was. Clearly by this point her, Harry, and Ron had already destroyed some Horcrux's, it was coming to the end. Worst of all was the state of Narcissa, frail, weak, pale. More mistakes had been made and she had paid for them. _

"_Your hospitality for allowing your home as headquarters had been rewarded with the sparing of your lives as I am sure you are all aware. But that does not excuse the fact of how soft the once great and terrible Malfoy's have become. Even Bella is disgraced in being connected to your line. And for that, I make one final attempt to make you see the consequences of your actions." As Voldemort said this, Hermione knew the whole family had reached their end, and it scared her…whatever was about to happen._

"_My Lord…please. I beg you be reasonable. You know we are heavily loyal to you…those blunders, merely accidents. Accidents which won't be repeated I assure you." Lucius said as he shot Draco a glare and Voldemort let out a short, cold laugh. _

"_Your words cannot save you anymore Lucius. Someone will need to take the blame should our attack of Hogwarts fail, and I intend it to be you. Although losing the battle is something I believe impossible. I will have Nagini with me at all times…" The Dark Lord replied as he glanced at his snake which slithered along the ground with content. _

"_My Lord…" Lucius said pleadingly, begging with his eyes. _

"_Pathetic Lucius," he said darkly as he drew his wand and pointed it at Draco who stood, his eyes empty. Clearly the months had taken there toll on him as well, "If I fail tonight, you all fail with me. The great Malfoy line will die with Draco," Tears filled Narcissa's eyes but she tried to conceal them, "Imperagnatio Infintata." The Dark Lord said slowly as he waved his wand in a complex pattern as Draco froze on the spot, a great burst of red light flashing as barb-like cords appeared from Voldemort's wand and wrapped themselves around his body. Draco tried to get free but couldn't, and as soon as they appeared, the cords disappeared into his skin. His eyes glowed a crimson red and faded as he fell to his knees, "A curse. One so rare not even you can find the counter curse for Lucius. Should I fail tonight, on Draco's nineteenth birthday he too will die, slowly and painful. All because your family failed in fulfilling my wishes. Until then death cannot touch him. He dies when I choose his death. Unless of course we win victoriously, then his life is in my hands. You best ensure my success Lucius, or you will feel the pain you should have felt when you abandoned me and my cause seventeen years ago," Voldemort said in a dark voice as Draco still fought to breathe on the floor, a slight red glow around him as Narcissa fell to her knees to help him. Lucius was shaking, " Gather everyone. We go for Potter tonight." He said to the Death Eaters at the doors and with that they exited the room, leaving Narcissa crying over her poor, cursed child and Lucius in a dark daze. _

_********_

_Hermione was cut off from speaking once again as the scene changed and they stood in a place and time she would never forget. The Final Battle. The end of it all. Except now she could see herself. She watched as Harry killed Voldemort, as if seeing it through new eyes all over again. She knew this had to happen, but it meant the impossible. It meant Draco would die. And suddenly it all hit her. She turned to him and he looked down at her, agony in his gaze as he did. He reached up to wipe a stray tear from her warm cheek. He motioned for her to look back at the scene erupting around them. Chaos. Pure chaos. Death Eaters were being captured, cheering, crying, but she'd seen it all before. Now she looked desperately for the Malfoy's and found them. Narcissa was clutching Lucius and he her as wizards forced him away and bound him magically. Narcissa was sobbing, grabbing onto Draco for dear life and he held her firmly against him, watching as he and his father met eyes, knowing they may never meet again. One of them would certainly be dead. Lucius knew this. Narcissa knew this. Draco knew this. That was why his face was empty, vacant. He was going to die. On his nineteenth birthday he would die. And as his mother wailed in his arms, Hermione watched and she cried with her. Did either of them knew then that they would be separated so soon? Hermione felt a tug. She didn't want to leave. She wanted to know more. She wanted to be back in that moment again and follow Draco instead of Ron. She wanted to know his fate, to tell him it was going to be ok. But it wasn't. It would never be ok again. _

_********_

Hermione surfaced with a great gasp. She tried to inhale air as she cried, hot tears spilling down her cheeks and she could barely see. She was shaking, she was scared, she reached out for him and hoped like hell he would accept. She blinked back her tears and saw him watching her, his own face pale and near breaking down as he watched her. She was about to say 'please,' about to beg for him to act like a human and accept her solace but she didn't have to. In an instant his arms were around her, his face buried in her neck and she buried hers into him, trying to stifle her crying the best she could. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Draco…" There was his name again, but she didn't care. For once she didn't have the answer and it scared her.

"Don't apologize…what's done is done. And now you know." His voice was cold, empty but he held her tightly, trying to keep both of them together.

"There has to be a way to stop it…there has to be something!"

"Don't you think I've tried everything? I read all the books I can find. My mother and father couldn't even help me. They took him away….and all the torturing….she couldn't take it. She barely remembers me anymore…" His voice was soft and he pulled back to look at her as more tears spilled out and he wiped them swiftly away, "Why are you crying?"

"Because it isn't fair. You made the right decisions. You didn't kill Lupin and Tonks. You couldn't kill Dumbledore. You were human and he tortured you because of it. And now…now you're going to die because of him?" Another flow of tears came and he wiped them away, still keeping her close as he did, still holding her, "When is your birthday?" She asked in a shaky, scared voice. It could be days from now, weeks.

"A week before we graduate," He said softly as his grays bore into hers, "I wanted to stop it for a long time. I didn't want to die. But now…now I don't care. I want it to end. I want to be the one who controls it. Maybe then it won't feel like I'm getting fucked. I've tried everything….Avada Kedavraing myself, electrocuting myself, bleeding to death, jumping off buildings, suffocation, starving, you saw me try and drown and hang myself…you saved me. Potter got in a good try though. I thank him for that. Only the curse can kill me, nothing else. I'm invulnerable until I turn nineteen. Then he wins, all these months from when it happened. He still bloody wins." Draco stood up and picked her up with him, pulling her onto his bed. She wiped her eyes as he pulled off his shirt.

"I can't accept that. I can't just watch you die and try to kill yourself. I need to find a cure. We already wasted so many years….we can't only have a few months left." The reality of what she said made them both go quiet. He looked down at his bandaged arm and undid it, the Mark raw and red, vein-like crimson lines spread out painfully on his skin.

"I know. But you can't save me Hermione. No one can," They both looked at his arm, "It keeps getting worse. Another brilliant perk of this shitty curse." he spoke bitterly as he wrapped it back up and laid back on his bed. It was silent for a few moments, a million thoughts racing through Hermione's head as she laid down beside him, curling up to him and he wrapped him arms around her, bringing the blankets up around them.

"Why can't this be simple?" Hermione whispered and he moved so he could look into her eyes, his bright in the now darkness of his room. He brought his hand up to cup her cheek as their eyes met.

"That's why I wish I didn't feel anything for you. It makes this so much harder," She closed her eyes and he stroked her cheek softly, "All I wanted was to die alone. Say fuck it to everything and just find my own way, or take death as it came. But them you had to drive me insane. You had to cure the one problem I did care about. You had to understand. You fucked it all up Granger," She opened her eyes and there was a small, sad smile on his lips, "Couldn't just let a bloke be miserable could you?"

"No. I had to fall for you instead…" He leaned over as she said this and kissed the tip of her nose.

"We're royally fucked."

"Yes, we are. But we'll find a way, I always do. Let's just sleep now, at least we have that."

"Yeah, at least we do." And with Draco's final words they intertwined beneath his covers and found silent comfort in each other's arms. Although for once, despite sleeping with Draco, Hermione found it nearly impossible to sleep. Because things had just become worse then she could have ever imagined. The man who she had begun to feel for, her protector, her beloved enemy, was going to die, unless of course she found a way to stop it. But for now she had this moment, and his arms, and his truth, and that would get them through the night.


	7. Need

**AN: Yay another chapter =) With a lovely kinda cliffhanger ending, get used to those because there's one in Chapter 8 too. This one was fun for all the Christmas stuff and the steamy scene with Draco and Hermione. As always, feedback is very appreciated, and I love you all. And try looking up the songs I post before each Chapter, they're brilliant I promise. Hope you like it 3**

_Here I go again slipping further away. Letting go again of what keeps me in place. I like it here, but it scares me to death. There is nothing here. The light is beautiful, but I'm darker than light. And you are wonderful, but this moment is mine. All of this dust, all of this past, all of this over and gone and never coming back. All of this forgotten. Not by me. I find comfort here cause I know what is lost. Hope is always fear for the pain it may cost. And I have searched for the reason to go on. I've tried and I've tried but it's taking me so long...I can see myself I look peaceful and pale, but underneath I can barely inhale. I can hear myself singing that song, over and over until it belongs to me. -All of This Past_

As Draco Malfoy's gray eyes opened to meet the light of day that stormed through his window, he realized that the warm body that was usually next to him was gone. Granger. No…_Hermione_. Where was she? He sat up and rubbed his eyes as he gazed around his room. He didn't even remember falling asleep last night, but he did remember everything else. He remembered going back into memories he never wanted to think about again. He remembered her small hand gripping his, the look in her eyes every time she would see another part to his painful memory. And then he remembered the old feelings he had. The feelings he once felt as Voldemort tortured his poor mother, the feeling of the curse burning into his flesh and consuming all that was right left in him, holding his mother up as she sobbed and his father got pulled away forever. These were the things on his mind, and Hermione was gone. Maybe it was time for another shot at ending it all.

He stood up, and as he did he contemplated how Hermione may feel right now. That fact that she had shed tears for him and he wasn't the cause made him worried. Scared even. Before he didn't want anyone to know of his fate, but she had brought the truth out of him, she had seen his mistakes, and she cried for him. He didn't understand her at all. And now as he walked down the hallway and peered in her empty bedroom, he sighed. Maybe she had decided this was all too much. She had feelings for a dead man. He couldn't blame her if she had left. The next room he decided to check was the library, if there was any other room in the house she might be it would be there. Although by now he was completely sure she had up and left. Probably gone to McGonagall and asked to switch rooms…anything to get away from the unstable, clicking time bomb that was once Draco Malfoy. And as he moved further into the library, looking around, he stopped suddenly in the back and gazed down at one of the tables in the corner. Some people can surprise you.

There she was, passed out on top of a pile of books. Sleeping innocently. She couldn't be sleeping well, they weren't together. Or maybe sleeping with him as long as she did had cured her, either way she hadn't left. She was here. Reading? He walked over to the table and pushed a bit of her wild curls from her sleeping face and simply gazed on her for a moment. He thought back to what she had said the night before after he'd shown her everything: '_We already wasted so many years….we can't only have a few months left.' _He sighed at the thought. Maybe she really was serious. But could he ever be serious about her? He knew how he felt, but it didn't change who he was. Even he and Pansy's relationship had been built on lies and deceit. Granger was different. But was he?

He thought on these things as he started to gaze at the titles of the books she had piled on the table with her. _Ancient Curses: Origins and History_. _The Counter curse and You_. _Dark Curses and How to Use Them_. _Rare Dark Spells_. The list went on. His eyes widened slightly as he realized what she had been doing. Maybe he could be serious about this girl, maybe he had it all wrong. He brushed his fingertips across her cheek and she stirred slight in her sleep, "Granger…wake up love," He said softly as he touched her cheek and she groaned lightly, "Hermione…" He said her name, her beautiful, unique name and it seemed to do the trick. Her eyes opened sleepily and she looked up at him.

"What time is it?" She asked groggily as she rubbed her eyes.

"Early, you know I always wake up early," He replied as she started to close the books in front of her and piled them up, "I thought you'd left when I woke up and you weren't there." He hadn't meant to let that thought out but his own tongue had betrayed him. Once she heard it she looked up at him confused, she stood up.

"What do you mean left?" The innocent, slightly confused look on her face made him smile slightly, she hadn't even thought of it.

"I figured after last night, seeing what I showed you, that you bailed. I can't say I'd blame you…" He responded, trying to be nonchalant, "I'm pretty fucked up as of late." As she looked into his eyes she frowned.

"Why would I ever leave? Especially after last night…You think that maybe you'd learn to be a bit less thick. Or living with me for half a year would've given you some insight into what kind of person I am. You need to face it, you're stuck with me," As she said this, she smiled slightly, and he did too, very faintly, "I was here most of the night, researching. I've looked in most of the books that would be useful and Voldemort was right in saying it was rare, chances are he may've even invented it. So far I haven't found any way to cure you, but I'm trying. And I'm sorry…" She looked down, saddened by her lack in finding information and suddenly he felt touched. He felt completely taken aback that another person was trying so desperately to save him as he tried so hard to make it all end. He brought his hand up to lift her chin so their eyes once more met.

"How can you be sorry for trying to save me? This is more than anyone has ever tried to do for me, you know that?" At his words, Hermione lightly placed her palm against his heart and he shut his eyes to her touch.

"Then maybe you need more people like me in your life," Her voice was a near whisper as a small smile crossed her lips, "I won't let you die, can you trust me in that Malfoy? I've faced three-headed dogs, dementors, Death Eaters….you name it. I'll make short work of this curse, I promise." He leaned his forehead against hers for a moment and she closed her eyes.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Granger," He said quickly as he moved away from here and towards the exit of the library, now there was a look of frustration and sadness in her eyes, "Oh, and Happy Christmas Eve." Was all he said as he left the library as abruptly as he had entered.

**********

The day had passed quickly. And Hermione's mind didn't quiet itself throughout it. She spent most of her time in the library researching all she could about curses and if there was anyway to undo what Voldemort had done. So far she was coming up with nothing, either Voldemort would have to undo the curse himself or only one specific thing of his choosing may be able to undo it. But as to what that thing was, she was clueless. Draco seemed to take this knowledge, impossible and miniscule as it was, without any care. How would they ever come up with the cure to Voldemort's curse when it could be anything? And Draco wasn't making it easy on her. She liked him, and that alone made it hard, but she knew he had a want to die, and had an uncaring attitude about the situation. Luckily though after one of their library spats he disappeared for the rest of the day. Still every time he wasn't around she feared he was off trying to kill himself again, and as pointless as it was it still made her feel awful.

"Honestly I expected your library to have more Dark Magic books. Did your father have a private collection?" Hermione asked as she sat down on the couch in Draco's room. She had just eaten dinner and he, well, he had barely eaten anything, "And you should try eating again."

"Not hungry," He said somewhat coldly as he leaned one outstretched arm against the mantle of his fireplace and he gazed into its depths, "And no, the only books here are the ones in the library. Just because my father was a Death Eater doesn't mean our house is full of Dark Magic artifacts." He said this bitterly, not looking at her and Hermione frowned.

"I wasn't saying that…." She said softly, slightly glaring at him, "You can cut it with the mood, I'm sick of it. Why can't you get it through your thick head that we're alone here, no one's watching you, no one cares. It's just me." Her own words saddened her because she wanted him desperately to understand but she knew he wouldn't.

"I can do and say whatever the fuck I please, I'm dying, remember?" He said with a short, ghostly laugh as he turned to look at her. His face was blank.

"So that's it then? You share your secret with someone and it's ok to give up? I can help you now…I want to help you. You don't have to go through this alone…" She reached her hand out to touch his but he recoiled it.

"I gave up a long time ago. Don't get your knickers in a twist that I'm not putting on a brave face like Potter would and trying to be noble and stop this all. I want to die," The last sentence, short as it was, hurt her to hear, "And I do have to go through this alone. I've always been alone. I'm going to die alone too. And I've made peace with that."

"You don't have to die alone!" She said angrily as she stood up, she had it with how he was acting, "Even if I can't help you for some reason, I'm going to be there on your nineteenth birthday. Because no one ever deserves to die alone, not even you Malfoy." The intensity in her stare quieted him for a moment but then he pulled a flask from his pocket, took a long, defiant swig as he looked in her eyes and moved away from her.

"I could try and drink myself to death, haven't given that one a go yet. Maybe go find a Manticore and piss it off something good." He spoke with an arrogant sarcasm that just enraged her more. He took another long swig of fire whiskey from his flask and she pulled her wand from her pocket.

"Accio flask!" She called out as the metal container flew into her hand and he glared at her furiously, "You said you didn't want this to be hard? Well you're making it hard. Stop trying to kill yourself. Stop trying to put on this 'I don't care' attitude because you do care! Maybe it's not life you should give up on, maybe you should give up this stupid façade. Maybe if you just gave up being such an ass all the time we could work together and figure this who thing out. There's good and kindness inside of you Draco…you just need to let it out. Maybe it'll save you this time, not hurt you like it did with Voldemort." Hermione was so sincere in her words that he felt somewhat bad about being a bastard to her.

"Whatever Granger. I don't need an of your noble Gryffindor bullshit…There's only one real way you could help me, but I know you're too bent on saving my life to do it," He looked into her eyes and then went silent for a moment, his angry, dark look fading slightly, "I really wish you would though."

"Try me." She hissed at him angrily and his eyes widened slightly at how upset he'd truly made her. His gaze softened a bit and he moved closer, leaning in close to her and she held her breath, unsure of what he would do.

"I want you to kill me." He said the words so bluntly, so mundanely that it almost passed her by how dire they really were. They sunk deep within her heart and as his gray eyes scanned hers the anger she felt evaporated. He wasn't being a bastard just to be a bastard, he was legitimately scared and it showed slightly in his eyes. He wanted his death and he wanted to control it. But she wouldn't give him that so easily, she wouldn't let him fall away.

"I can't do that…" She whispered as she looked at him and he took her hands suddenly, covering them with his warm ones as he did.

"It would make it so much easier, can't you see that? What we feel won't go farther then this, Voldemort doesn't win, I die the way I choose, and we won't have to spend the next five months in agony. Listen to me, just this once. Take out your wand, point it at my heart, and just say the words. It's easy. You can do it. Please Granger…." He pleaded but she knew she could never do it, even if he made some sense.

"If you care about me you wouldn't ask me to do this. Even though it probably won't work…what if it does? I can't kill you. Years of enmity and hate couldn't even make me do it. Just like you couldn't kill Lupin and Tonks." Those words made him freeze as he thought back to what he had shown her, still wanting to forget but forgetting was impossible now because she had seen it all.

"That's different, you know bloody well it is," He grabbed one of her hands more forcefully as he pulled her wand out with his other hand and forced it into her grasp. She tried to fight him but he was stronger. He wrapped her fingers around her wand and clamped his hand over hers as he forced her shaking hand to point the tip at his heart, "Come on Granger, be brave. Give me this one little thing." At these words she stopped trying to fight his grasp and let her arm relax, he looked confused for a moment, maybe even hopeful that she would do it, but no, something else had clicked in her head, something else entirely.

"I can't give you death. But I can give you something else. I can make you want to live." And with these simple, yet powerful words, Hermione moved into him and Draco released his hold on her wand as she let it drop to the floor and roll away. He didn't have a chance to question what she was doing because in an instant her lips connected to his. He stepped back slightly from the sudden impact of her kiss but her arms came around his neck and pulled him down against her. She feared that maybe he would push back, push away. He was hesitant for a moment, her own enthusiasm had surprised him, but now his arms snaked around her middle and bent her into him as he leaned over to deepen their kiss, his tongue entering her mouth. There was an edge to this kiss, a roughness, a clinging desperation as his arms tightened and he crushed their bodies together. It was no longer in her control, no longer in either of their control. The frenzied harshness even made her lips sore as he kissed her without bounds. He pulled back for a breathless instant as they both inhaled deeply and their eyes met. His were dark, lustful, wondering, she mirrored it and he understood then what she was trying to convey.

It all was beginning to make sense. His warm lips met her soft neck and her eyes closed as she trailed her hand down his cheek, around his waist. He stepped forward and she moved back into her knees hit the edge of his bed. His lips traveled across her collar bone as he hand came down to grip her thigh and pull it up to bring her frame even closer as she pulled him down onto the bed, on top of her. His lips went roughly back to hers as his hands roamed her body, she moved further back on the bed, both trying to keep their lips connected as they did. Hermione didn't know what she was doing, but she knew where this might be going, and she wasn't too sure if she was ready for that yet.

"Don't make me want you Granger…" He said in a harsh, dangerous voice as he pulled back suddenly and gripped her upper arms, pulling them upright on his bed. Their eyes met, hers in a dreamy, determined state and he watched her, unsure of how she would react to what he had said. Only a mere few breathless seconds passed before she responded.

"My name is Hermione." She spoke clearly as she reached down to pull her shirt over her head. No. No more running. No more giving up. He saw this and was marveled by her in that moment when he pressed back up against her, lips becoming one once more as his hands found her exposed waist and grazed the smooth, warm skin there.

"Better not regret this in the morning…" He growled softly in her ear as his teeth grazed her earlobe. She gasped in breath as his lips once more caressed her neck. Her whole body felt like it was on fire at his touch, her blood singing. Yet despite what she felt for him, could she give herself so soon, so suddenly? What if she did regret this in morning? At the beginning of the school year she never could have imagined herself even being civil to Malfoy, and now she was here, shirtless, his lips on her neck. He pulled back a moment to pull off his own shirt. Dirty trick…Her hands came up to running along his chest and his lips trailed along her jawbone. No, maybe she couldn't do this. She wasn't ready, they weren't there yet. How could she know that it wouldn't destroy the fragile thing they barely had?

"Wait…" She whispered softly as his hands moved up to unclasp her bra. She knew it wouldn't be something he struggled with, and with that thought the image of him and Astoria flashed in her mind and she knew this couldn't happen this way, "Draco wait…" She whispered again and it seemed her understood this time. His lips froze but he still held her as he pressed his forehead against hers, eyes closed, trying to regain his breath.

"You're a tease love." He said as his lips grazed hers and her eyes closed too, desire still in her but knowing she had to quiet it.

"I'm not ready…we're not…" She said softly and he nodded as he pulled back, running a hand through his blonde hair as he did. He looked into her eyes and saw the slight nervousness and sighed, running his fingertips across her cheek as he calmed his tense body down.

"You're right…as shitty as it is," He pulled his hand back and sat back on his bed, "Things would get a whole lot more complicated if we did," He stopped for a moment and then looked at her with interest, a small smirk forming on his lips, "How about this, you figure out how to cure me and I'll shag your brains out. And even if you don't, you have to promise to do it with me the day before my birthday, whatever state I'm in."

"You're a pig," She said slightly amused as she spoke, pulling her shirt back on as she did, "Can I give you a 'we'll see' and leave it at that? Who knows what'll happen…" Now her voice softened, reality returning as their eyes met and he nodded slightly.

"It's late. We should get some sleep. It is Christmas tomorrow after all," He smiled slightly as he looked at her, a sincere smile and he turned to put out the fire with his wand, "Aren't you even a bit curious as to what I got you?"

"You got me something?" She looked at him, slightly surprised. But then again he was quite good at giving her surprises.

"'Course I did. I can be a decent guy you know…" He moved over next to her and got under the covers, "Why so surprised? You didn't have to get me anything you know."

"I already did. I brought it with me when we came here." She smiled slightly at the look on his face. Apparently he hadn't been expecting much from her either.

"Oh…well I had to get yours today. But enough of this present talk," He let out a yawn and laid back in bed, giving her a devilish look as he grabbed her waist and pulled her down into him, trapping her in his arms, "I'm beat."

"I don't think I'll ever understand you…" Hermione said sleepily as she closed her eyes and cuddled up cutely into him. He rested his head against hers and laughed softly, pressing his lips to her head.

"I know Hermione. I know…" And sleep took its hold on the intertwined lovers.

************

"Hey….Hey wake up!" Hermione said somewhat softly as her eyes were now wide open. She lifted one of her fingers to gently stroke Draco's nose, "Happy Christmas!" She said with a huge smile and his gray eyes opened wearily and squinted against the light streaming through the iced-over windows.

"Bloody hell…what time is it?" He asked groggily and Hermione simply laughed and moved closer to plant a sweet, tender kiss on his lips which surprised him but he kissed her back softly, "Actually I dunno if I care anymore…" He said with a sleepy grin as he went to pull her closer but she wriggled out of his grasp and looked at the tree they had placed in his room, smiling at all the presents that had appeared under it. Hers was still hidden in her room.

"Draco….we actually have presents…" She said softly as she looked back at him and he looked vaguely shocked as he sat up and saw the gifts wrapped innocently under the tree.

"Shit…wasn't expecting that. Yours isn't even under there," She looked at him for a moment and he stretched as he got up from bed, "Well what in Merlin's name are you waiting for? Let's be greedy," And with that she too got out of bed and went over to where the presents were. She was slightly surprised when she saw gifts from Harry and Ron with notes attached, also gifts from Hagrid, Ginny, her parents, and Mrs. Weasley. She of course had gotten these people gifts months before and left them at the Burrow for Christmas. Draco was also somewhat surprised when he saw presents from Astoria, Blaise, Goyle, and Pansy, he had gotten them nothing. The only person he had bothered with was Hermione, she was the only one who meant anything to him now anyways, "Want your present now?" He asked as Hermione began to open Hagrid's box of homemade rock cakes and a wooden necklace he'd carved himself.

"I think we should do that last." Hermione replied with a small nod. Curious as she was she wanted him to be really surprised.

"Fair enough." Draco said with a shrug as he opened Goyle's bag of Honeydukes sweets and Pansy's silky dark green, button up shirt. He was pleased she'd gotten him something tasteful, but felt somewhat bad he had gotten none of them anything, and the fact that he had been such an ass made it worse. Astoria had gotten him new Quidditch gloves because he'd been complaining about his old ones. And Blaise had given him a bottle of expensive fire whiskey. He was happy with what he'd gotten, but it only made him feel worse for getting it. None of them knew his fate and they didn't know how much harder they were making it for him.

Hermione was busy opening her gifts as Draco looked at what he got with a slight sadness in his gaze. Mrs. Weasley had knitted her a sweater and sent her some homemade sweets while Ginny had given Hermione a photograph book filled with pictures she had taken over summer break. Hermione set that down as tears welled in her eyes, she didn't want to think about how she had abandoned her friends on Christmas. Her parents had gotten her sugar-free candy as well as an electric toothbrush and a lovely purple, blue, and green dress with matching hat and shoes. It was the last two presents that worried her, or the notes attached more like it. She picked up Harry's first and opened the present, a beautiful new set of golden quills and a mass amount of self-correcting parchment. She smiled slightly and opened Ron's next, a brand new, beautiful copy of _Hogwarts: A History_. These alone made her want to burst into tears. She opened Harry's note with shaking hands and saw the familiar handwriting of her best friend, it read:

_Hermione-_

_I'm sorry. Things have just been really hard lately, I know you can relate to that. Can you blame me for over reacting? It's sort of my job to watch out for you, and seeing you and Malfoy….together…didn't exactly make me too thrilled. And Ron's been so upset. He misses you too, and he's sorry. Trust me on that. I was always on your side Hermione, even when it seemed like I wasn't. You two always put me in the middle. I gave Ron a good throttling in your name, trust me. I don't want to fight, it's stupid. Plus we're both doing pretty terrible in a few subjects without you there watching our backs. And Ginny is in need of a decent girl to talk to again. I know you're a bit tied up with your ferret friend, but the good guys miss you, and no matter what happens, we're still your best friends, your brothers. I'd probably be dead if it wasn't for you. You're lucky my hotheadedness only lasts for so long. I've learned to prioritize and think straight, maybe I got that from you? _

_Come back, we miss you,_

_Harry_

Hermione felt tears in her eyes as she read and she realized how greatly she really did miss her friends. The next letter was the one she feared the most though and she opened it was much care as she gazed down at Ron's scratchy, boyish script and began to read his:

_Hermione-_

_I know you might hate me, I guess that makes sense. But you have to know how sorry I am. I fucked up. I fell in love with you and it ruined everything. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose that. I know things may be different…and you may want different things. But I miss you. Harry and I miss you so much. I was a right git I know that. More than a git. I'm no better than dirt. It's just been really hard these last few months, on everyone. I messed us up. Maybe you could give me another chance? I could love you better than that blonde bastard…I know you know that. Just…think about it. If you still need time I get it, but at least talk to Harry. I know he hates it when we fight. _

_Yours,_

_Ron_

Hysteria may have begun to set in as tears began to stream down her cheeks uncontrollably. Oh yes, it was certainly complicated. Draco own sadness was forgotten for a moment as he realized what was happened and moved closer to her, trying to soothe the crying girl, "Merlin are you alright?" He asked softly and she took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She nodded slightly as he brought his thumbs against her cheeks and wiped her tears away. Why was the world so backwards lately?

"Yeah…just Harry and Ron bought me gifts and sent me notes…I thought life would get easier after Voldemort died but it just got so much harder didn't it?" She said softly and he looked into her eyes, slightly concerned.

"Trust me love, I understand," He said in a soft voice as he kissed both her cheeks, "How about we get our gifts now? That should help us feel less like shit shouldn't it?" He asked, tilting his head to look at her and she nodded as he helped her up, "Be right back." And with that Draco left the room and Hermione did too, going into her room and pulling out the tiny guitar which she quickly returned to normal, admiring the glossy, perfect black instrument before hiding it behind her back and slipping into his room. Draco was sitting on his bed next to a big uncovered box that Hermione couldn't see into and they both smiled.

"I suppose mine's a bit obvious now…" Hermione said smiling as she moved the guitar in front of her and his jaw dropped as he gazed at it, dumbfounded, "I know you love music, and I don't think the chords are hard to learn. I saw it and knew I had to get it for you. It's a Muggle one but you seem to fancy Muggle things lately." She blushed slightly as she handed him the guitar and he strummed it with his fingertips, awe struck as he attempted to play a few chords.

"Hermione…thank you. It's brilliant, really. I'll have to write you a song sometime," He smiled slightly at her as he set the guitar gently down on the bed and glanced over a the box which was moving slightly and making noise, "Ready for yours?" His smile was so sincere as he looked at her she couldn't help but smile too, "Close your eyes and hold out your hands," The unsure look on Hermione's face made him roll his eyes, "It's not a ruddy dragon or anything…" And with that she obeyed and closed her eyes, holding out her hands and a few seconds later something very lively and amazingly soft was placed in her hands, Draco held it gently too, "Open them." he said softly and she gasped. He released the small kitten and let Hermione look at it properly. It's little, blue-gray eyes stared up at her, wide and curious. It was all black save for perfect white paws, white whiskers, a triangular white chest, and a white-tipped tail.

"How did you know Crookshanks died?" Hermione asked in complete surprise as she pet the tiny little cat, already in love with it as it began to purr.

"Well you didn't have him this year, and I knew the ugly bastard was old, and I knew you fancied cats. So I figured you could start fresh with this little devil. Thought he might help remind you of me when I'm not around," Draco smirked slightly at her and Hermione wiped her tear filled eyes, this was beyond thoughtful, "I waited to pick him up until yesterday. The house elves were taking care of him until now. They were thrilled to do it too by the way."

"Draco…he's beautiful! I don't even know what to say…thank you so much," She said with a smile as he leaned in and touched his lips lightly to hers, "What should I name him?"

"What about Scorpius? I always liked that name…" Draco said with a shrug as he sat back down on his bed and began to mess around with the guitar. Hermione made a face at him after she set her kitten down who began to play with one of Hagrid's cakes as a ball.

"That's an awful name for such a handsome cat. What about….Felix? He certainly look like a Felix." Hermione smiled as she sat next to Draco who was still trying to play softly.

"It's your cat, name it what you like. And Felix is good. Better than bloody Crookshanks…" Draco mumbled as Hermione watched the little cat run under the tree when she noticed a letter tucked away, they must've missed it. She got up and retrieved not only her cat, but the letter which was addressed to Draco…and it was from St. Mungos.

"Draco….? There's a letter here for you." He looked up and saw the distress in her eyes and frowned as she handed him the letter. And then he immediately understood her concern. He didn't wait to tear it open and read what the Head Healer in charge of his mother had written.

_Dear Mr. Malfoy- As of late your mother Narcissa has begun inquiring heavily of your whereabouts. We believe her memory may be returning slightly if at all. The past few days she has become nearly frantic and we believe your immediate presence would help in calming her. We are terribly sorry for disturbing you on Christmas, but we do hope you can come by. Happy Holidays._

As he finished reading he looked back up at Hermione who had been watching him as he read. He put his guitar down and stood up from the bed, going over to his closet as he began to whip out clothes to wear. His mother was asking for him and he wasn't going to let her down, not again, he owed her that much. And he had missed her more than anyone. Hermione watched him worried as he began to throw clothes on, looking like a crazy person himself.

"Draco what's going on? What did it say?"

"Read it yourself." He replied quickly and she grabbed the letter off the bed and read it as fast as she could, looking up at him with her jaw set, mind made up.

"I'm coming with you," Impossible words. So impossible he nearly stopped dressing, "I'll go get ready, I'll meet you back here in five…" He grabbed her wrist tightly, his eyes dark and unreadable.

"You're staying here…" He snarled in a low voice and Hermione's eyes widened slightly, somewhat scared at how instantly his mood had changed. But then she thought back to Narcissa sobbing in the Great Hall in his memory and she understood.

"I'll wait for you." Hermione said softly as her gaze met his and his softened a bit as he leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead before moving back and towards the door.

"I'll be back, I promise you I will." And those were the last words he said before he vanished with a pop from the doorway, leaving Hermione standing alone in the wake of opened presents, curious kittens, heart wrenching letters, and the St. Mungo's note that would change everything. She just hoped when he returned, he would still be Draco and not a shadow of a man who has lost the world.


	8. Thicker Than Water

**AN: I am infinitely sorry for taking so long, I'm been really busy and sick lately but hopefully I'll be able to update again soon. This wasn't my favorite to write, maybe that's why I held off. And this isn't the end, I promise =). Also I'm thinking of writing a Draco-as-a-vampire oneshot story. Enjoy this though, I think the end is in sight. 3 And you guys are all absolutely brilliant. And if you don't have the song below, it's by Placebo, and I strongly suggest downloading, it's amazing. **

_It doesn't hurt me. You wanna feel how it feels? You wanna know, know that it doesn't hurt me. You wanna hear about the deal I'm making? You be running up that hill, you and me be running up that hill. And if I only could make a deal with God, and get him to swap our places, be running up that road, be running up that hill, be running up that building. If I only could. You don't wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies. Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder. There's a thunder in our hearts, baby. So much hate for the ones we love? Tell me, we both matter, don't we? You, be running up that hill. You and me, be running up that hill. You and me won't be unhappy. If I only could, be running up that hill. -Running Up That Hill_

It seemed as if fate had been calling him to this place for months. Yet he had run. Run away from the thought of what he would find there. Ever since he had left St. Mungo's after he had admitted his mother, he believed fully that his life had ended. Dying was nothing compared to how he felt. She didn't even know his name then. And since that time he had avoided seeing her, it wasn't worth the pain it entailed and for that he knew he was a weak man. Worst of al was the fact he knew she had become this way because of him. Tortured into insanity. Just like Longbottom's parents were by his aunt. Just like countless others. Damn what Voldemort had done to his family….damn him.

These thoughts dominated Draco's mind as he walked up to the old display window in front of Purge and Dowse, Ltd., and leaned in close to the glass window where an assortment of dolls gazed out at him. Muggles walked by oblivious, it was Christmas Day after all. _And I've left Hermione alone… _Draco thought about with a frown as the doll quickly asked him his business and he answered, gaining admittance as he stepped through the glass and into the decorated hallway of St. Mungos. And he wouldn't be wasting anymore time.

"Narcissa Malfoy, she's still in the Permanent Spell Damage Ward?" Draco asked quickly to the plump witch who was sending charmed notes off to various rooms. She looked at him and immediately knew the family connection. Also his face had appeared in the Prophet, people didn't always enjoy knowing that one Death Eater had been let free, however harmless he was.

"Yes. Fifth Floor." The witch replied almost rudely and Draco glared at her with narrowing gray eyes and disappeared without thanks towards the stairs. What would he find in his mother's room? He didn't know. Every step he felt more and more anxious. And guilty. Despite constantly sending money to ensure his mother's well-being, he still felt bad he had never come himself. Truthfully the situation frightened him. Until recently his mother was all he had, the only one who could have helped him. Losing her mentally was enough to drive him to the edge. That was when his self destruction began. His steps slowed as he approached her door. For a moment all he could hear was the great pounding of his nervous heart and then an ear piercing scream shattered his thoughts. He would know that scream anywhere. It had haunted his nightmares for almost a year.

"DRACO!" It rang out in a cry and he felt as if he would collapse to the ground. Yet suddenly his feet began running towards the door, not caring what awaited behind it, not scared. His mother was calling him and he'd be damned if he didn't answer her. He pulled open the door and froze. Narcissa Malfoy was being held down by two Healers as she let out ear piercing screams, calling for Draco. Her once beautiful hair was matted and white on her head, her skin was deathly pale and her limbs small and frail. Dark circles where under her eyes that were once so lovely but now filled with emptiness and pain. She was a living corpse. Draco simply watched as a third Healer filled a syringe full of sparkling blue potion and quickly injected Draco's thrashing mother and seconds later she calmed down, blue eyes rolling back into her head as the two Healers by her bed shackled her wrists to her bed and stepped back. It was only then they all noticed Draco standing there. They left, leaving Draco with the head Healer who walked over to him and put his hand on the boys shoulder. Draco already hated everything that was happening.

"Calming Draught. Lately her outbursts have truly given us a run for our money," The Healer shook his head slightly, "It was good of you to come. I didn't think you would." The man's gaze found Draco's and he pulled his arm away from the Healer, he felt sick. With a look that could kill he stared at the man who stepped back.

"Leave us." Draco said darkly and the Healer looked somewhat baffled.

"Mr. Malfoy…her condition is hardly stable enough for us to be…" He began to say but Draco had pulled out his wand and pointed it at the man's chest.

"Walk out of this room and let me be alone with my mother or I'll make you swallow your fucking tongue." He spoke very evenly, but his eyes were ablaze and the man stepped back towards the door.

"You get ten minutes, that's all I'll allow," The Healer opened the door but glanced back at Draco as the boy tucked his wand away, "Be thankful I won't call the Ministry on you for assaulting a staff member!" the man said quickly and disappeared through the door, a small, quick, sick smile appearing on Draco's lips. He walked very slowly over to his mother's beside as she lolled her head, muttering under her breath.

"Mother?" He whispered as she continued to ignore his presence, Draco bit his lip, "Mum it's me. It's Draco. I'm here." He brought his hand up and touched her cheek as he blinked back the moisture forming in his eyes and her head shot to the side to look at him as she inhaled deeply, her eyes wide.

"He lied!" She croaked out in a tired rasping voice and he leaned in closer as she began to weakly thrash, "He knows! He knows!"

"Mum who? Who knows? Look at me! It's Draco! I came back for you! You called me!" He called out to her, saddened, angry when she wouldn't answer him, just kept muttering and thrashing. This was almost too much. She didn't know him anymore. It was only a coincidence she called to him, it had to have been.

"He lied! He knows!" She kept repeating and Draco was at a loss. He moved back slightly as she pulled against her restraints and ran a hand through his hair.

"Shit…" He said softly as he moved back next to her and brought his large hands up to grab her head and make her look at him, square in the eyes. The fogged over, faraway look seemed to fade slightly as their eyes met, "It's me mum, it's Draco. You know me, I know you do. Just remember, just think…"

"Draco…." She repeated softly as their eyes were locked, bound. He nodded slightly and smiled weakly.

"Do you remember?" His voice was soft as they spoke, and time passed as he firmly kept her head locked in his strong hands. That faraway look, the one that he had come to dread, slowly began to creep back into her vision and he shook her head slightly, "No! Come back! You remember me! You…"

"HE KNOWS!" Narcissa let out a bloodcurdling scream and Draco growled angrily as he moved back away from her, unsure of what to do now. Maybe it had been a coincidence that she had spoken his name. Either way her eyes had clouded back and she was letting out whimpers as she struggled against her bounds. He didn't know how much more of this he could watch. Draco sighed as he put a hand over his mouth and turned towards the door to leave, nothing could be done here, "Lucius….." It was a whisper. Barely audible, but Draco caught it. He turned slowly back to his mother who simply stared at him blankly.

"What did you say?" His voice was a whisper, her single word had been impossible, it had to be, "What did you say." He commanded this time, louder and more sure of what she had said, no matter how soft it had been. The pieces were slowly coming together. He stepped back to his mother and looked down at her but she was gone. Her eyes staring off somewhere else, her body was still. Her breaths were calm, even. Clearly whatever message she had needed to convey she had, and she was done. Once Draco understood this he leaned over and touched his lips to her forehead. As much as he wanted to deny it, this felt more like a goodbye than he had ever had before with her. Blinking his eyes furiously he left the room, knowing where he would be going next, no matter how much it terrified him.

*********

Azkaban. When he was younger the word was menacing enough but it held no power in his mind. But then throughout time it symbolized so much more than a mere place. It had torn apart his family numerous times, whether it be releasing Bellatrix back into the world or capturing Lucius. Now he stood at the iron gates and stepped inside the grounds, walking on the hard ground towards the black front doors. Eyes were on him, he felt that. He was much too recognizable for his own good. Maybe that was why he could never find peace. As the skies darkened with a winter storm overhead he pulled his cloak closer as two guards accompanied him to the door and let him inside. Every time he closed his eyes his mother was there, screaming.

"State your business." The wizard at the desk said without looking up, he shuffled around some papers for a moment before finally glancing up, his eyes widening. He didn't speak, clearly he was much too interested in the answer Draco would give.

"I'm here to see Lucius Malfoy." Draco's voice was dark as he spoke, thinking back to the white room that held his poor, mad mother. Insane as she had become, something deep within her cared for him so much that a part of her remembered how soon approaching his death date was and that maybe, just maybe, Lucius knew more than he ever let on. That thought alone, her undying love and his treachery, killed him.

"On what grounds exactly?" The wizard asked curiously. Draco could feel the two guards watching him carefully, waiting for him to make a move. A move that would guarantee his status as a Death Eater and loyalty to the Dark Lord. As if.

"He may have some information I need. I just found out. It's a bit private so if you don't mind you can keep your sodden nose out of it." Draco smirked internally, his eyes still ablaze as he looked at this man. He had no need for courtesy. This was a matter of life and death.

"The Ministry frowns upon things such as this. Why would I ever be fool enough to let you go in and speak with another Death Eater?" Clearly the man was none too happy with Draco's reply. His fists clenched as he stared into the man's slightly scared eyes, though he hid it well.

"Listen. This is my father. Strip me down bloody naked, shove Veritaserum down my throat, do whatever. But I need to go in and see him, it's very important." As Draco said this the man bit his lip lightly and nodded to the guards behind Draco who came up and pulled off his cloak.

"By order of the Ministry you are to give up your wand prior to entering the cell, be subject to a magical items search, and drink an Anti-Potion, do you accept these terms?" The man spoke somewhat dully and Draco glared at the guards as he shrugged his cloak out and pulled at his wand, the man jumped back slightly.

"For pity's sake….I agree. Let's get on with it," The man took Draco's wand and stored it away as the guards ran their wands in midair down Draco's frame to check for any magical items. Then finally one of them handed him a small vial with a green potion inside, "Cheers…" He said sarcastically as he drank the whole potion down, "Did I pass your little test?" He asked somewhat angrily.

"It'll do. They'll take you down to Malfoy's cell. And they'll be keeping guard outside, so try anything and you'll end up in here faster than you can say Hungarian Horntail, got it?" The man glared at Draco but he simply rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I got it. Can we please try to hurry it up? I've got a worrying Granger back at home, she's not any fun when she's mad." He smirked slightly as the guards lead him through another dingy door and the man behind the desk looked dumbfounded as he called out to Draco.

"Granger? As in…_the_ Hermione Granger?" The man looked surprised and Draco simply looked back and winked at him as he and the guards vanished into darkness.

**********

Hell. This had to be Hell. Or as close to Hell as a human would ever see. Draco felt chills run up his spine at the thought of being locked away in this place for eternity. It was once his fate, but he had escaped. Somehow…As the guards led him down into the underbelly of the wretched place, he thought about a thousand different things. About the rotting scar of the brand on his arm, about the girl waiting so innocently for him, about his mother's blank stare, his father's captivity, and most of all his own mistakes, his future. As much as this single trip had always scared him, he knew he had to make it. It could mean the difference between life and death. And now there may be a glimmer of light in his world, a meaning to live, he would try to grasp onto any chance to hang tightly to it.

"This is it," One guard said gruffly to Draco as they stopped in front of a rotting wooden door in the stone hallway they had been walking. Draco had channeled out the screams and insane wails of the inmates but reality returned to him with a sense of great dread, unhappiness, and an internal cold he couldn't shake. Dementors. The thought of them made his eyes darken as the other guard pulled out his wand and pointed it at the door. A small, golden light appeared at the very end and took the form of a key as the man used it to unlock the door, "We'll be watching." Draco gave him a curt nod as the man glared slightly at him, and he stepped inside his father's cell. No amount of money could have bought Lucius Malfoy comfort in a place like this. Draco stepped up slowly on the dirty ground towards the bars that shielded him from his father. A window was directly across from Draco and it let in little of the opaque light outside. He squinted and realized a shape sat in the darkened far corner on the old, ratty bed.

"I was sure I would never see your traitorous face again Draco." Lucius's voice was low, dangerous, changed. Draco was surprised at his words, even a bit scared and angered by him, but he didn't move.

"I didn't know you considered being a decent human traitorous father." Draco replied with similar tone as Lucius rose and walked into the light. Draco's eyes widened slightly at the sight of him. His clothes were dirty, wrinkled, something the old Lucius would have never allowed. His skin was paler and somewhat dirty. There were dark circles under his eyes, his white hair a mess, and there was a slight craziness within the depths of his eyes.

"Decent or cowardly Draco. You had many chances to be decent but you far better liked the role of a coward riding on the coat tails of the more fortunate didn't you?" Lucius hissed as Draco's eyes narrowed.

"Did you ever care an ounce about me father or was that a rouse too? I accept that I was a coward, but can you? I always followed you. Maybe if you had been more of a man mother wouldn't be going mad at St. Mungo's and you wouldn't be rotting in this filthy cage!" Draco shouted somewhat and Lucius's eyes widened angrily as he moved right up to the bars and grabbed them forcefully.

"You ungrateful little wretch!" Lucius yelled and he and Draco stared angrily at each other before Lucius let out a mad, hysterical laugh. Draco frowned slightly, confused as he watched his father shake with laughter, "Better to rot in a cage then to die slowly by another's hand. How many months do we have let Draco? Four? Five?" His laughter continued and Draco's fists clenched.

"You are the biggest bastard that has ever walked the Earth. I hope you know that," Draco said in a low voice, "You ruined everything…"

"Is that why you've come here Draco? Looking for some sort of scapegoat to point your fingers at? Go ahead then. Point away. It won't stop you from wasting away."

"I could give a shit about pointing fingers. I came here for one thing and I'll be damned if you don't give it. Tell me the cure. I know you know what it is. As mental as mother's gone she knew enough to tell me you knew," Draco leaned in closer as he spoke, "And you will tell me."

"Do you honestly believe after everything you put our family through I would ever disclose what I know to you? Foolish boy…" Lucius shook his head and laughed smugly as he stepped back from the bars.

"So you do know," Draco said softly, glancing down at the ground in disbelief, wishing it hadn't been true, "But then why did you watch me and mother suffer? You suffered…"

"The Dark Lord may have despised you, but he did feel the slightest of pity for me. He disclosed the truth to me and he truly believed that the cure he set was one that you would never seek out. One he believed would sicken and disgrace you so much you could never bring yourself to use it. But I know you, son," He spat the last word and the frown on Draco's lips deepened, "You have no care for things such as honor and dignity. You wouldn't care at all. I would never risk myself in telling you because I am no fool."

"You'd rather watch your only son die then?" Draco said in nearly a whisper, in disbelief. This was too much to take in…his father had known, he had known all along and done nothing. As Lucius heard the question he leaned in again, right against the bars and looked Draco square in his eyes, mirror images of each other.

"Yes…." He hissed and it was then Draco lost it. The boy let out a yell as he reached through the bars and wrapped his hands around his father's neck and began to shake him.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" He screamed over and over again as Lucius struggled, digging his nails into his son's hands as the door began Draco flew open and the guards rushed in. He barely heard them. In that moment all he cared about was causing his father as much pain as possible.

"Let go Malfoy!" One guard yelled as strong hands gripped Draco's shoulders and pulled him back, but he wouldn't release his father, not for anything. Lucius slammed into the bars as Draco dug his heels into the ground as the men pulled on him. As one began to draw his wand their efforts finally paid off and Draco released his father, invincible as he was, he didn't fancy a dislocated shoulder. The guard stumbled back but kept a hold of Draco as he pulled him away from the bars. The other guard pointed his wand at Draco's wrists and a black cord flew out and wrapped itself around his wrists. Lucius's mad, choking laughter filled the small room, "Are you bloody mad?"

"I'll kill him….I'll fucking kill him!" Draco growled as he moved towards his father but the guards restrained him again. Lucius was hysterical and it was infuriating Draco to no end. He had failed. And now there was no chance. His only hope had failed him….he was going to die. He was going to leave Hermione. Hermione. Even thinking about her hurt now, because he knew his fate was definite now. He relaxed slightly under the grip of the guard and they pulled him back into the hallway.

"A stunt like that should get you chucked in your own cell next to daddy." The guard with the wand said harshly as he kept his wand pointed at Draco's heart. He struggled slightly in anger and glared at the man.

"The world wouldn't miss a waste like him. You should've just let me take care of him." Draco replied as the guard locked the cell door behind him and they all proceeded back down the hallway and towards the exit.

"Can't do that kid."

"He's paying you off somehow isn't he? Rather rot in a cell then be tried for all the crimes he's committed….you should rot too. What would the Ministry say to it's guards taking money from a Death Eater?" Draco spat as they reached the front of Azkaban. The man sitting at the desk grabbed Draco's things and ran around the desk to greet the men as they angrily led him towards the door and forced it open, pushing him to the ground outside.

"Watch your tongue Malfoy," The guard holding Draco said as he pushed him, Draco's lips formed a furious sneer, "We see you around here we'll throw you right in, or worse. Daddy's money can only get one of you slippery bastards so far." Draco's eyes narrowed as he stood up, arms still bound as the guard with the wand said the counter curse and they disappeared. Draco's fists clenched but before he could do anything, the wizard holding his things threw them to his feet and they slammed the door in his face.

"SHIT!" Draco yelled as he slammed his fist against the now locked door, knowing no magic would be able to pierce it. As he picked up his cloak and wand, he realized suddenly that he had failed. Completely and miserably failed. He was too angry to have dealt with his father in any other way and it had screwed him. He let out another frustrated yell as he angrily stomped towards the front gates, pushing past everyone in his way. It was over. His future was gone. Any slight, ridiculous chance at truly being with Hermione had vanished in a single day. Had it really been only this morning they had exchanged gifts? Only the night before she had almost given herself to him? No….it felt like months….years. And yet he would return to her, a failure, probably sleeping in his bed. Maybe he did want to die. Maybe it would make everything so much easier. And with these last thoughts he stepped outside the grounds of Azkaban and vanished from sight.

*********

Hermione was worried…genuinely worried. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind. What if his mother died? What if her condition was worse? What if he doesn't come back? No…he had to, he promised. Her brown eyes stared at Felix racing around the room, chasing wrapping paper. Part of Hermione wanted to chase after Draco, help him, but there was too much room for fault there. With her luck she'd leave and he'd return, think she left him, and it would mess with everything. Still she had gotten dressed, tried to eat lunch, and went on a furious cleaning spree to clam herself down. Things could never be simple could they?

It was getting late. It had been such a gloomy day and she hoped like hell he'd be back before dinner. She sat down with a sigh on Draco's bed and looked out the window when she heard something downstairs. Four distinct thuds. Her brows furrowed slightly, was it the house elves? Muffled voices came after and immediately she thought it was Draco, maybe he had been able to bring his mother home? Either way she smiled and jumped up from his bed, heading towards the stairs. She got to the top and her eyes widened in fear. Draco wasn't home. In his place were four men brushing off their cloaks after using Floo Powder to appear in the Malfoy's foyer. The fireplace looked as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to it, clearly someone didn't want it being used and these men had somehow gotten around the barrier. But it didn't scare her how they had gotten in, simply the men themselves. They were men she hoped she would never see again. Rookwood. Mulciber. And two other younger men who Hermione didn't know. They had to have been recruits. The Dark Mark had been carved viciously into both of their arms. She had remembered reading that not all Death Eaters had been found and here were four of them, standing just down the stairs from her. She wanted to run, but she knew that would be much too obvious. Instead very slowly, she pulled her wand from her back pocket and went to step backwards up the step she had taken. But to her great dismay, she stepped in the wrong place for loud creak shuddered underneath her foot. Everything then happened in seconds. All eyes shot to Hermione, wand ready, who turned quickly towards the hallway.

"GRAB HER! DON'TLET THE FILTHY MUDBLOOD ESCAPE!" Rookwood yelled as he pointed at Hermione who took off like a jet towards Draco's room. She heard the pound of footsteps behind her and kept running as she darted into his room and slammed the locked the door, saying a quick shield charm over the door. She knew they would be able to break it though. Quickly she grabbed Felix, completely oblivious to what was going on, put a Silencing Charm on him, and swept him into the closet. She didn't even want to think of the things they would do if they found out she had a cat.

"Open the bloody door Mudblood!" Fists and charms pounded against her shield, she knew it wouldn't be long.

"Open up now and we'll kill you quickly!" A rough voice said and dark laughter sounded outside. Hermione's heart was pounding wildly, why had they come? She gripped her wand tightly in her shaking hand and pointed it at the door, scared but ready to do what has to be done. _Then come and kill me. _She thought to herself but knew that she was heavily outmatched. She may have the skill to take down the younger ones but it still wouldn't be enough. She could Disapparate, but she wouldn't run, she wouldn't leave the only thing Draco had left to ruin. She would defend it, crazy as it seemed. _Damn that hat for choosing Gryffindor…_She thought as she took a deep breath and released her shield, her feet firmly planted to the ground as the four men blasted open the door.

"Expelliarmus! Protego!" Hermione screamed as she pointed her wand at one Death Eater and then at Rookwood. The first curse sent one of the younger men's wands flying across the room but Rookwood dodged her curse and she jumped out of the way of someone's curse.

"Don't kill her yet, you bloody idiot!" Rookwood yelled as he whacked one Death Eater across the back of the head, "We need to question her first." As he said this Mulciber shot a binding curse at Hermione but she dived behind the couch in Draco's room, trying to think what to do next.

"Expelliarmus! Expelliarmus! Stupefy! Protego! Petrificus Totalus!" She screamed quickly as she jumped up from her hiding place and pointed her wand at the men, praying she could do some damage. She say Mulciber fall like a board to the floor and one of the young Death Eaters, wandless, fell unconscious.

"Incarcerous!" Rookwood hissed and Hermione's eyes widened, she was too late. Despite having held her own against four accomplished Death Eaters, she knew that she was no match. As he uttered the words she felt herself being lifted into the air and bound. She tried to struggle but it was no use, she was trapped, "Stop struggling Mudblood. Kane, unfreeze Mulciber and wake up Harrison," Rookwood said to the young Death Eater who nodded and went to reverse what Hermione had done, "And as for you….I have a few questions you'll be smart to answer." He pointed his wand at her throat and she stared into his dark eyes, unafraid.

"You can't make me do anything." Hermione said boldly and Rookwood laughed.

"Oh Mudblood, I could make you do a lot of things," He moved closer to her to say the last part and she was disgusted. He saw the disgust in her eyes and his smirk disappeared, "Don't act like you're better than us Mudblood. You may have gotten rid of the Dark Lord, but there are ways to lead a resistance. A way to make this world fit for the purebloods to rule. And once we're ready, we're taking Potter first. You can watch him die. Wouldn't you like that you little bitch?"

"FUCK YOU!" Hermione shouted, surprised at herself. She was angry, furious. There was no way these men could ever lead a resistance. They ever showed themselves in public and the Aurors would make quick work of them. But still, hearing such a horrible plan made her blood boil. As the words left her lips the three other Death Eaters, all awake now, simply stared.

"What did you just say to me, filth?" Rookwood said in a low voice, fury behind his gaze. And in that moment Hermione didn't care, she knew what she felt and what she believed in, they had already won the war. She had lost her fear. She leaned her head closer, stared him straight in the eyes, and said with perfect clarity…

"Fuck. You."

"Crucio!" He hissed and Hermione's eyes widened as white-hot pain enveloped her body, pain like she had never felt. Her limbs were twisting, her mind going blank, the pain more than she could ever bear. It was as if she was being ripped apart and sewn back together. She wanted to die….death was better than this…easier. Tears of pain fell down her cheeks.

In that exact moment, as if fate had dictated it, a pop sounded in the doorway behind the Death Eaters. They had barely noticed over Hermione's screams of pain. Draco Malfoy's grey eyes widened at the sight before him, impossible. This had to be fake, this couldn't be happening. Hermione wasn't getting tortured……but she was. And he was late. Draco didn't wait to ponder the thought any longer as he brought his fist back and slammed it hard into the back of Mulciber's neck who fell to the ground unconscious. It was then the two younger Death Eaters realized he was there and drew their wands but Draco was faster.

"Incendio!" He shouted as one Death Eater burst into flames and began to scream and dance wildly around the room. It was then Rookwood turned and saw Draco, his eyes narrowing as he let Hermione drop to the ground, half-conscious and gazing up as Draco tried to get to her, "Reducto!" Draco shouted as the other Death Eater slammed into the wall, "Expelliarmus!" He screamed as Rookwood's wand flew away.

"Diffindo!" The Death Eater who had been flung said and instantly Draco's side was cut open and blood began to spill. His eyes darkened and he turned toward the Death Eater, furious.

"You shouldn't have done that…." Draco said in a dangerous voice as he moved closer to the young man and collided his foot hard into his face, causing it to break in a bloody mass as he ripped the wand from his hand and broke it in half. Rookwood had run up behind Draco and wrapped his hands tightly around the boy's neck. Draco struggled for a second but then realized the Death Eater's efforts were futile, he couldn't be killed anyway, "Why the fuck did you come here Rookwood?" Draco asked in a rough voice as he brought his elbow back and slammed it into Rookwood's stomach. He brought his palm up and hit it into Rookwood's nose, breaking it. Rookwood growled as his fist collided with Draco's jaw, he stumbled back.

"Figured us Death Eaters had the right to take what the Dark Lord said was rightfully ours. Lucius had to have some valuable things in this place. Never thought I'd find the Mudblood here. Is that what you've taking a liking to Draco? Fucking filthy Mudblood whores like her?" With those words Draco lost it, and the disappearance of Rookwood's evil smirk proved he knew it too. Draco flung himself at Rookwood who fell backwards on the floor with a tremendous bang. Draco began to pummel every inch of him he could reach, his fists slamming into the man under him as he swore a flurry of curses at him, years of hatred coming out all in one beating. Draco's fists were soon covered in blood, Rookwood's face destroyed, and he lay unconscious on the floor beneath Draco. It had only been a few minutes but it felt like he had been beating him for hours as blood pooled around his head. Breathing heavily, Draco turned and saw Hermione trying to free herself, struggling weakly, and he hopped off Rookwood and went to kneel by her side.

"Diffindo.." He said softly as her bounds were cut and she gasped in air. He wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks and her eyes opened wider as she gazed up at him, his arms around her, "Are you ok? Are you hurt at all?" His voice was stern, dark. His face was unreadable. She shook her head.

"No….they just used…." She said softly, biting her lip and he nodded stoically.

"I know…." His voice was soft as he looked away from her gaze, "I was late," He pulled her to her feet, holding her up, as he looked around the room at the damage. The Death Eater whom he'd lit on fire had rolled the fire out but not without being significantly burned and passing out on the floor. He looked back into her eyes, "You should've ran away from here…"

"I could let them hurt your house. It's one of the only things you have left." She said weakly and he nodded slightly, knowing the truth of it. He thought back to the whole day, to everything, and all he wanted to do was lay down and forget it all. But he couldn't do that. Instead he moved closer to Hermione and wrapped his arms tightly around her, cementing her to him as he rested his head against hers and closed his eyes. She was taken aback a bit, but regardless of the weakness she now felt, she wrapped hers arms around him too and held tightly. And for a moment the situation they were in disappeared. They weren't two tormented lovers in a room full of evil, they were just two people. Hermione opened her eyes as she looked over his shoulder and they widened, a gasp escaping her lips, "DRACO! Look…" She didn't get to finish her sentence. For as she did Mulciber had risen, his wand pointed directly at Draco's back, his body protecting Hermione's.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" He yelled as a jet of green light shot out from his wand and hit Draco square in the back, he pulled back for a moment, his eyes wide in surprise as they met Hermione's, the slightest look of peace coming to his face as he fell into her arms and onto the floor. Maybe he had been right all along. And with his falling Hermione Granger felt her heart swell and burst. It was over.


	9. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

**AN: Hello! And I apologize for the cliffhanger, there really isn't much of one this time. I feel like this was a bit long to write, but like I said, the end is in sight. The next Chapter is gonna start getting intense. Anyway I hope you like this =) I love you all and thank you so much for the lovely reviews, I love reading them. 3**

_I'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here. I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were. Be with me, stay with me, just for now. Let the time decide when I won't need you. My hand searches for your hand in a dark room. I can't find you. Help me, are you looking for me? Can I feel any more? Lie to me, I'm fading. I can't drop you. Tell me I don't need you. Etch this into my brain for me. Tell me how it's supposed to be. Where everything will go, and how I'll be without you by my side -Need_

"DRACO!" Hermione yelled in disbelief as Mulciber sneered and tried to pull himself to his feet. There was no time for Hermione to kneel and grieve over the boy at her feet, she had to act or she would die with him. With anger filling her chest, Hermione realized her wand had been cast aside, so she grabbed Draco's quickly from his robes and pointed it directly at Mulciber has he stood. But this time she wasn't going to wait, she wanted vengeance, "Stupe…." She began to say but he cut her off much quicker than she thought possible.

"REDUCTO!" He bellowed as the sheer force of the curse slammed hard into her ribs, lifting her into the air and making her body collide with the wall. She let out a hiss of pain as she slid to the ground, her elbow now bleeding from the impact. Mulciber began to stagger towards her and she forced her aching body to her feet as she realized to her dismay, one of her ribs may indeed be broken. As the Death Eater raised his wand, Hermione stepped around Draco and closer, prepared to fight, "Crucio!" He snarled but this time Hermione was ready.

"Pretego!" She cried as her eyes widened and a shield went up to deflect the attack. She was so focused on fighting off this Death Eater she didn't notice the movement near her feet. Mulciber's sudden terrified gaze should've said it all. Strong hands grabbed Hermione's waist and she gasped as one hand forced her back behind the owner's tall frame and the other ripped the wand from her hands. It was then she realized, miraculously, that the spell that should've killed Draco Malfoy had failed, he had escaped death once more.

"But….I…I killed you!" Mulciber stuttered, wand still raised as he tried best to remain composed. Hermione's eyes filled with tears as she touched Draco's hand which still held her protectively behind him. She leaned in closer and caught his scent, the warmth emanating from his body, and she felt relief wash over her. He pointed his wand directly between Mulciber's awe-struck eyes.

"Should've tried harder mate," Draco said in a low voice, clearly infuriated, "Crucio!" He hissed angrily and Hermione gasped. Mulciber's screams filled the room as Draco moved his wand to torture the man. Hermione shuddered behind him.

"Draco….Draco stop…." Her words made his eyes close for a moment. Damn her for making even this complicated. He moved his wand and the curse let up, Mulciber dropped to the ground shaking as he looked up at Draco who walked closer to him, gazing down at him menacingly.

"Portus," Draco muttered as he pointed his wand at the wand he had broken and looked back at Mulciber, "Take your lot, grab the Portkey, and I never want to see any of your faces again or so Merlin help me I'll kill every one of you."

"The Dark Lord should've killed you when he had the chance…" Mulciber said angrily as he dragged Rookwood closer to the wand and magically bound all his fellow Death Eater's hands as he looked once more back at Draco and Hermione.

"He already has." Were the last words Draco said as the Death Eater's all disappeared from the room, and with it went the brave faces both Hermione and Draco were putting on. Draco fell into his bed, supporting himself on his hands before turning and sitting in order to face Hermione. His eyes met hers and hers once more were full of tears as she suddenly flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Just as her body collided with his she gasped.

"Ow….." She said softly and he pushed her back by the shoulders to look into her eyes, she bit her lips softly.

"Lay down, let me have a look at you ok?" He said with a cold tone as he moved, wincing slightly and let her lay down gingerly. His movements didn't go unnoticed however.

"That hurt you didn't it?" She asked softly and he glanced into her eyes, the look of pain there spoke for itself, "I thought it had really killed you…That I'd failed you…"

"You can't fail me. I'm fucked. It was me that was late. Any later and I would've been the one to find you dead. And I can honestly say I don't know what I'd have done if that happened," His voice was dark and she went to respond but his fingertips pressed against her rib and she let out a whine of pain, "Broken rib. And your elbow got a good hit too," He grabbed his wand and pointed the tip at her side, "Episkey." He said quickly and she gasped slightly and grabbed his free hand, he frowned slightly at this. He muttered another spell as he pointed at her elbow and it too began to heal.

"Thank you…" As she said this, he released her hand and moved away from her slightly, Hermione was confused, "Are you okay? What happened today? Is your mum alright?" She asked, concerned with what had happened, but he was silent, thinking back to everything, "Talk to me…you know I want to help you…" Hermione said softly as she got off his bed and moved back closer to him, but he wouldn't meet her gaze. He didn't want to tell her about his failure, he didn't want this to be so hard, "Draco…" Her voice was soft as she spoke and she moved closer, stood on her toes, and very gently touched her lips to his. She waited a second but he didn't kiss her back, he didn't even move. Her eyes opened and saw his anger, his dark gaze and he moved back from her. He knew then he had made his decision. Hard as it would be it had to be done. But he had failed, he knew that, and there was no point anymore. And so he said what he meant, what he wanted and knew it would destroy her.

"Leave me the fuck alone." Five simple words but the edge behind him silenced her suddenly. She back up from him with disbelief as she looked into his eyes. She found no hidden emotion there, simply anger.

"What?" She asked softly, not understanding, not possibly being able to comprehend what was happening inside of his head. His glare was constant though and it made her eyes widen. He couldn't be doing this to her, not now, not after everything.

"You heard me." His voice was nearly inaudible it was so low, so angered. She bit her lips softly and looked into his eyes, trying to force so explanation from him with her gaze but it failed. He remained silent as ever. Instead of standing there arguing with him, or letting herself turn into a groveling girl in front of him she gave him one final look and turned away for the door. She even stepped through Rookwood's blood, making footprints on the dark wood as he watched her go, somewhat surprised she wasn't fighting back. As she reached the door she stopped for a moment before turning quickly back to him, her jaw set, face angry but perfectly composed.

"I thought you changed. I did. I thought that maybe you accepted that this, what we're doing, is more than just some silly snog fest. And hell I even thought you would let me in and help you. You Draco Malfoy, are the best liar I have ever met. And I'll leave you alone, but do me a favor and leave me alone too. Because I can't keep being the person you run to when there's no where else to go, not when you treat me like this. We aren't eleven anymore. You can't just do this to people and then hope it heals itself. I'm standing in front of you and you're pushing me away and for once, I won't push back. I hope this is what you wanted Malfoy." And with those words she turned swiftly around, not wanting to look at him anymore. He stood there blankly, wondering if he had made the right choice as the sound of claws could be heard inside of his closet. He opened the door and saw a pair of watery blue eyes look up at him as the little cat's mouth opened in a muted cry and Draco felt his own die in his throat at the decision he had just made.

********

From Christmas Day, their world had ultimately changed. Hermione had respected his wishes and he respected hers. The Malfoy Manor was big enough so avoiding each other was no huge problem, yet it seemed as if they couldn't spend a day without glimpsing each other. Hermione's face would redden with anger when she saw him and wait patiently for him to get out of her way for returning to her business. She was murderess, she'd had strangled him if she had the strength. She knew now that coming to the Manor for Christmas break had been a mistake, it had only lead to ruin. And whatever had happened that day he was gone was still a mystery to her. Whatever it was she believed was the reason behind his change in heart, and it infuriated her to no end.

If the days seemed long the nights seemed longer. Hermione had Felix but he was no comfort when it came time to sleep. Instead she went back to her old sleepless ways, any real sleep that came to her was usually accompanied by restless, terrible dreams that she could barely remember once she had woken up. So instead she had come up with a system. Instead of allowing Draco to see her researching a cure for his curse during the day, she would go in the middle of the night to avoid him thinking she really did care which she tried best to deny even to herself. At least that way she tired herself out enough to get a few hours of sleep in order to go through hell again the next day. As for what he was thinking, she gave up trying to understand or even trying to get him to articulate it. Silence had become her ally.

Yet despite being incredibly, undeniably angry, she missed him, more than she ever wanted to admit and that alone made her feel terrible. Every time her eyes would lock with his gray ones it felt as if her whole body was electrically charged. She missed sleeping by his side, his kisses, his crude remarks. Even his anger she missed, his passion, that crazed, devoted protection he so subtly swore to her and her alone. The times he let her in, what he had shown her. She hated this. And she couldn't help but be mad that he'd let her know what was happening to him because now she had to help, as hard as he was making it. By New Years Eve still nothing had changed. Hermione had given up ever sleeping again and still had found no answers to save Draco, only vague possibilities. She had spent the day away from everything, not even wanting to see him. She contemplated one major thing all day and as night fell she knew what she wanted to do, whether or not she actually got to sleep that night would determine if she would go through to it. Now it was up to fate.

12:08. She knew it indeed was fate telling her something now. Nights of unrest and misery had prompted her to make a ballsy decision she hoped like hell she wouldn't regret. With a deep breath she threw off the covers of her cold bed and silently opened the door to her room and slipped into the hall. She prayed he was in his room and also part of her hoped he was sleeping, if he was, she would turn around and forget it all. Yet as she reached his door, her heart pounding, she knew that he'd be sitting awake like she had been every night. She bit her lip as she turned the knob and stepped into the room, not even daring to glance over at him as she turned and silently closed the door behind her.

"What are you…" Draco began to say, his eyes somewhat wide in the darkness as she approached, his pale body reflecting the moonlight that streamed through the window. She heard his words but didn't mind them as she walked over to the bed, her eyes unreadable as they locked to his. No he hadn't been sleeping, he hadn't slept at all, the dark circles proved that. He wanted answers from her, but she wouldn't give them, not when he wouldn't give her any. And so without pause she crawled into his bed, silent and quick, and he was too taken aback to say anything. Her gesture alone could have shattered him into a thousand pieces. No more talking. No more arguing. She knew what they both needed. Her eyes met his again in the darkness as she moved closer and he didn't move away. Instead he accepted what he didn't want to indulge himself in, her, and his arms came out to bring her close, crushing her against him, filling the void he had made for himself. And Hermione welcomed it, pressing her body against him, sucking up all the warm and comfort she had so missed. And so in silence, he held her close, a broken man and she relaxed into him. For that night their world was back in balance, and Hermione found herself once more sleeping better than it felt she had in years.

********

_Once more Draco Malfoy found himself walking the corridors of St. Mungo's, a place he never wanted to set foot in again. Surprisingly the place seemed empty almost, abandoned. No one was here. Just him and he soon realized he too wasn't alone, but his arm was linked with someone. It was Hermione. She looked at him with a small smirk and he felt his own face return it without even thinking. He didn't understand why they were here together….he didn't want her to see this, he didn't want her to know he had failed. Still they walked towards the hall that held his mother's room and he felt….afraid. He tried to stop his own feet but found it impossible, he was not in control of his body. Even his ability to speak freely was gone. _

_The closer they got to Narcissa's room the more his chest filled with dread, yet the same small smirk remained on his lips and that sickened him. Hermione moved to open the door and he swiftly stepped inside, seeing his mother lying there again filled his chest with pain. But as her eyes met his she let out a bloodcurdling screech. "YOU! GET OUT! GET OUT! NO!" She kept howling as Draco turned to Hermione and nodded at her to shut the door which she quickly did and leaned again it, simply watching with an interest that instantly upset him. This couldn't all be happening, it just couldn't. Narcissa screamed and thrashed against her restraints but they held firm. Draco wanted to help her, to question Hermione but he was still unable to make his body work the way he wanted. Yet finally he reached for his wand and he breathed a sigh of relief as he pointed it at his mother, ready to help her. Whatever had happened he seemed to have control of it now._

"_Crucio!" He hissed with such anger and rage that he cried out inside his own head as he watched his mother twist and turn in agony, her eyes a lit and wide with pain. He watched her writhe and tried as hard as he could to stop himself, but then the realization hit him. He looked down at his outstretched hand and realized quickly that this wasn't his own hand…this wasn't even his wand. He gazed down and saw the Malfoy crest ring that only one person ever wore. He heard the laughter escape his lips and felt that he must have been in hell because this was a fate surely worse than death. He was Lucius and now he was reliving torturing his mother through the man he hated more than anything. NO! Draco screamed in his own head, determined to be heard, to be freed, but freedom did not come. Narcissa still screamed in agony on her bed, trapped, as Draco felt as if he was torturing her, killing her, in the body of his father. He saw Hermione watching with a small smile on her lips, it destroyed him. Narcissa let out one final cry as blood spurted from her pale lips and ran down her cheeks and suddenly she was still. Her eyes were blank, her breath disappeared. She was gone. It was then Draco lost all control he ever held, "Let that be a lesson to you Mudblood, defy me and you'll end up with the same fate…." Draco felt himself say in Lucius's voice and Hermione bowed to him._

"_Yes Master…" She replied obediently as Lucius put away his wand and walked over to her, reaching out his hand to lift her chin. Draco couldn't take this, not anymore. She couldn't be his servant…not after everything. He looked into her eyes and saw emptiness, something that wasn't her, something gone, missing. He had done something terrible to her….his Hermione was gone….victim to this monster he was inside of._

"_I can see what my wretched son saw in you…Do you regret not being able to save his life?" The hand holding Hermione's chin gripped her skin tightly as she looked Lucius square in the eyes, Draco in the eyes. _

"_No. He was meant to die. It was what the Dark Lord wished. I never cared about Draco. It was all for you master. I had to get close in order to free you from Azkaban." She said the words with a smile and Draco felt his whole being lit ablaze and explode with her words, with everything, this wasn't hell, this was worse. This was his future. And Lucius leaned in to touch his lips to Hermione's and with it Draco felt his stomach churn in disgust. Everything he had ever feared had come to pass in a manner of minutes right before his very eyes. His father's eyes. The eyes of the man who had ruined his life. _

_********_

Draco shot up in bed, gasping desperately for air his lungs couldn't find. Hermione still lay in a deep sleep beside him and for that he was thankful. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. All he saw was his mother's shaking, dying image before him, feel his father's actions, and hear Hermione's words. That nightmare had been everything that terrified him and as far away as it seemed, it was so vivid, so real. Was that truly his fate? Could his future exist in such a hell? What if Voldemort had designed the curse to trap him within his father's body? All these thoughts, along with the detail of his nightmare were too much to bare. He jumped out of bed and ran for his bathroom as he mind replayed his father's kiss with Hermione and he felt his stomach heave as he became sick with the thought. He fell to the ground as his stomach rejected it's contents into the toilet before him and he fell back on his heels, shaking. This was too much, much too much. All the emotion and pain he couldn't express in the dream suddenly washed over him like water and he felt himself break into racking sobs before he could stop it. Months of torment came spilling out of him as he bawled, finally releasing everything he had tried to keep inside. And he let the sorrow drown him like the sea.

Hermione awoke suddenly and knew something was wrong. It was as if something had called her out of sleep and told her. She frowned slightly when she realized Draco wasn't next to her and immediately was worried that something had happened. She got up and realized it was extremely late, or very early, and looked around for signs of where he had gone. She sighed slightly when she found none, yet a faint sound caught her attention. It was the sound of someone crying. She moved towards the bathroom and went to open the door but hesitated, was this really a good idea? Just barging in on him? She took a deep breath and knew she didn't care what he thought, she wanted to help, despite what he had said before. And so she swiftly opened the door and saw Draco sitting on the floor, head in his hands as his body shook with sobs. Her eyes widened, unsure of how she should approach this but as she thought his head whipped up and his red, tear-filled eyes met hers. For a moment there was a look of fear and agony, but a second later they lit up in fury, impossible, dark fury as he looked at her, getting to his feet impossibly fast.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" He bellowed and she instinctively stepped back, never had she seen him so enraged. She had gazed into his pure, undiluted weakness and that was too much for him to handle in this state. Her being there, her seeing, set him off. Especially after just witnessing what she had done in his dream. But Hermione didn't understand, he wouldn't give her the answers she needed.

"Merlin Draco are you alright?" She asked quickly, trying to get through but knowing she would fail again, he was beyond reasoning. She stepped further back out of the bathroom as he moved angrily towards her and she could legitimately say she was scared of him now.

"GET THE FUCK OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He screamed at her, furious and unthinking as he did. Hermione felt like they were back on Christmas all over again, back to square one, and that was too much to go through again. Her eyes filled with tears and it seemed that maybe his gaze softened, but she didn't catch it. She refused to fight with him again. She'd sleep alone forever if it meant never enduring this again. And so once more silence was her savior as she turned away from him and ran from his room, once more respecting his wishes as she left him alone. And there he stood, every emotion swimming through his veins as he pointed his wand at the door, locked it, and fell onto his bed with mental exhaustion as he let his anguish consume him once more.

*********

Whatever Hermione had tried to salvage that night she had crawled back into Draco's bed had been destroyed. Something she was unaware of had now completely ruined their relationship, if it could even be called that, and she was at a loss. Instead she chose to accept what had happened and decided to realize that it was over as much as that realization hurt. She was prepared though, she hadn't gone into liking Draco Malfoy without knowing that the road ahead would be an inevitably rocky one. And over the next few days nothing had changed. They had once more gone back to ignoring each others existence and Hermione gave up looking for a cure, she had exhausted all the resources in the Malfoy Manor and she herself was exhausted. All she wanted was to return to school and straighten everything out. She was slightly surprised when Draco decided to address her one night in her room. He knocked and she bid him come in, his face was empty though, his eyes blank and al he muttered was: "We're taking the train back to school. Be ready at eight tomorrow morning." And then he disappeared from her again. She was at least thankful he wasn't screaming at her this time.

And so the next morning she packed all of her things and grabbed Felix to meet Draco in the foyer. She walked in and saw all his bags, including a black guitar case, that he minimized with his wand with his back to her. Seeing her gift upset her even more, damn him for liking it. She clutched Felix and followed Draco outside as they both Apparated to King's Cross and got aboard the Hogwarts Express to head back to Hogwarts. She didn't question why he had decided to take the train, but she welcomed it as a chance for them to be forced together. Part of her dreaded it but at the same time she hoped maybe they would get to talk. They took their seats in the front like they had at the beginning of the year and he sat with similar pissed off anger as he stared out the window, arms crossed.

"Could you at least look at me?" Hermione asked softly, staring over at him as Felix slept on her lap. After a moment Draco turned his head to meet her gaze, his face expressionless.

"Happy?" He said darkly and Hermione sighed.

"I didn't choose to take the train, you did…and I would appreciate if you were the slightest bit more personable. I haven't done anything for you to treat me like this. And if I have, please, enlighten me." Hermione said with a somewhat angry tone, already she knew this was a mistake. They hadn't been on the train for an hour and already it was turning into a fight.

"Oh no, the great know-it-all Granger can never do any wrong can she? Forgive me for trying to perform our Head Boy and Girl duties by coming on the train. As for how I'm treating you, build a bloody bridge and get over it." He said gruffly as he looked back out the window.

"You know what Malfoy? You should've let Ron rape me and those Death Eaters kill me, would've made your life a whole lot easier wouldn't it? And I should've left you at the bottom of the Lake to rot." Hermione said with tears beginning to form behind her eyes but she was too strong to let them show. He glanced back at her slightly as she said this.

"You really believe that Granger?" He asked somewhat curiously, the anger somewhat gone. He looked back at her and their eyes met.

"I suppose part of me might…." She said softly, her gaze softening. His barely changed.

"Well you were right about one thing," He said softly as he broke their connection and turned back to look outside, "You should've let me rot." And with that they both went silent and remained that way for the rest of the journey back to Hogwarts.

********

"Knight to E7."

"Bloody Hell Ron! Could you at least try and let me win?"

"Sorry mate, but I'm going to beat you at Wizard's Chess for the rest of our lives, I'd get used to it if I were you." Ron Weasley said with a grin as both he and Harry Potter gazed down at the chessboard between them as they sat in the Gryffindor Common Room next to the fire. They had just arrived back from the Burrow and Ginny had gone off to see some of her friends. Neither one of them had noticed when the form of Hermione Granger had stepped into the Common Room and took to looking at both of them, tears in her brown eyes.

"If I were to say Hermione's standing behind you would you believe me?" Harry asked with a grin as he looked up and saw her standing there, a smile now forming on her lips that was impossible for her to try and hide. Ron glanced up at Harry.

"That depends, is she holding something to thwack me with? That would make more sense. " He said with a shrug as he began to pick up the broken chess pieces and fix them as Harry stood up.

"It's your lucky day Ronald," Hermione said as she blinked back tears and Ron turned, his mouth agape as he saw her, "I got your letters. And I miss you too." Before she could say anything else Harry had moved over to her and trapped her in a bear hug which she returned. She realized then what she had been missing….her best friends. The anger she had felt evaporated as she hugged the boy whom she had walked through hell with. As they released each other, Ron stood up awkwardly and walked over, his cheeks red as he glanced at her.

"Can you forgive me for being the world's biggest git?" Ron asked softly and Hermione wiped at her eyes as she stepped closer to him.

"What would the world be if we weren't at each other's throats constantly?" Hermione asked with a smile as she held open her arms and he grinned as they too hugged and he easily lifted her off her feet and they laughed.

"Pretty bloody boring Id say, except I'd be able to have some peace." Harry said with a smile as he crossed his arms and the three friends all faced each other, Hermione knowing what she had to address.

"Listen boys…I know you both must think I've lost it, and I can't say I blame you…but there's so much I need to tell you." Hermione said as she took a deep breath and looked at both of them.

"Like why I found you curled up on the ground with Malfoy?" Harry asked as Ron frowned slightly.

"Or why in Merlin's name you went to his house for Christmas? We thought you'd really gone mental….or been Imperio-ed or something…" Ron mumbled as he looked away from her and Harry sighed.

"Hermione…you know that we're your friends no matter what, but we need answers. We don't want to fight anymore either. But if you caught me snogging Pansy Parkinson or something you'd be right confused too." Harry responded and Hermione nodded slightly as she moved back over to her once favorite chair by the fire and motioned them to sit down.

"You might want to sit down for this…it's quite a story…" And with those words the two boys sat down and Hermione began to relay every detail from the last few months, sparing a few more intimate parts to protect her dignity and Ron's sanity. By the end Ron looked somewhat taken aback and Harry simply leaned back, gazing into the fire in thought, "I'm in a bit of a situation."

"Merlin! Death Eaters? Shouldn't the Aurors have taken care of them?" Ron asked in disbelief and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"For pity's sake Ron…is that all you care about? There's something very dark at work here and as much as you don't like it, we need to help Malfoy." With these words Ron laugh out a sarcastic laugh.

"'We' don't have to do anything. You can fight for that worthless cause as much as you want. I don't give a flying fuck if he's changed. Once a Death Eater always a Death Eater. He can go off and die on his own time, not mine."

"Just because you have feeling for me doesn't mean you have to turn into some sort of emotionless ass!" Hermione retorted and Ron stood up, somewhat angered as he looked down at Harry and then back to Hermione.

"I'm all for being friends again but this I can't do. I'll see you around." He replied gruffly as he quickly exited the Common Room and Hermione swore under her breath as Harry leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

"You can't expect him to just come around you know, he's too thick and too in love with you to ever do that."

"Don't even tell me that Harry! I don't think I can deal with that too right now…" Hermione said, upset, as she leaned back in her chair.

"You really like him don't you? Despite everything…" Harry said softly as he looked over at Hermione who slowly opened her eyes to meet his gaze.

"Yes, I do. It's really complicated, and weird I know…but I have to help him. He doesn't want it, he'd rather try and destroy himself. But as twisted as our relationship, or whatever we have is, he makes me happy," As the words left her lips she let out a small, sad laugh, "I never thought I'd say that. But I am. We've hit a rough patch but I've gotten through to him. There's a man in that shell somewhere, I swear it Harry."

"As absolutely mental as this all sounds…And it sounds quite mental, I want to help too," Harry replied after seeing the truth in her eyes and she smiled brightly at him, "But let's get a few things straight, I don't like Malfoy. I feel sorry for him and I have for awhile, big of a git he is…And I can tell he means something to you, somehow. But he hurts you in any way or does something I don't agree with, I'll make sure he doesn't get up from my curse next time, ok?"

"You really are a good man Harry."

"I owe you that at least Hermione."

*********

For the next few days Hermione went searching for more answers within the school's resources for a cure to Draco's curse and the grumbling Harry helped her. Her and Draco still avoided each other whenever possible and that ensured her more and more sleepless nights. Yet still she wanted to help him, as rocky as things had become. Draco on the other hand, felt terrible. Not only could he not get the dream and the idea of his mother lying in the hospital bed out of his mind, but also being away from Hermione left him more empty then he'd like to admit. He missed her always being there. And he missed sleeping by her side. Maybe the decision he had made was a poor one because it only made him want to fix everything, not forget it. He knew now it was much too far gone to continue as he was. And so he decided one last thing and hoped she would accept it.

11:55. It was now or never. Draco slowly climbed the staircase leading to Hermione's room and tried very carefully not to make a sound. As he opened the door he saw her laying on her side, facing the window. He was grateful for this, he didn't want her to see him too soon. Silently he made his way across the room and slipped quickly into bed beside her. Hermione let out a small groan, somewhat asleep, and Draco moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her against him. Hers eyes widened suddenly in the realization of what he was doing and she turned around to face him, her eyes angered and sleepy as she tried to push him away.

"You must be kidding me…." Hermione grumbled as she closed her eyes, defeated, and simply lay there as he kept his arm firmly around her, bringing up the other to stroke her face, "Don't you think you've hurt me enough Malfoy?"

"Look at me Hermione," He spoke her name, and it wasn't asking, it was commanding. And she obeyed, gazing into the dark depths of his steely grays, "I fucked up again."

"What this time? Try decapitating yourself and failed? Save it…" She said softly as she looked away from him but his hand moved her face back to look at him. She wanted nothing more than for him to go away, she didn't want the emotional strain that always followed with them, she couldn't handle it.

"No….Merlin Granger….I fucked up with you. I don't want to like you. I never wanted to like anybody in this situation but I can't help it. I could force myself to hate you, force myself to be furious but you're still all I bloody think about. And it's driving me mental," He said quickly as he looked at her, tears forming in her eyes as he ran his thumb under her eye to collect the moisture there, "I'm going to die. Visiting my mother proved that. Some part of her knew enough, crazy as she may be, to call for me and tell me that she knew my father knew the cure. And she I went to him, in Azkaban, and he wouldn't tell me. I almost killed him…so they banned me. I knew then I had to try and break away from you. Maybe, maybe if I was a big enough of an ass you'd go away and I'd be freed from thinking about you but I failed, miserably. And for some reason you still stuck around. I thought ending all this would make it easier on us but I was wrong. I fucked up." He ended his speech and now she understood the truth. She bit her lip softly as she looked at him, thankful to know what she had been so in the dark about before. She reached over to trace a heart with her fingertip on his chest.

"Pushing me away would've done no good. I still looked for a cure. Nothing you could say could stop me from trying to save you, as impossible as you believe it is. I told you I was going to save you, and I meant it, no matter what. Just don't put me through that again. Because I believed it all." She said softly and he frowned as he leaned in to touch his lips to her forehead.

"I may be a good liar, but I'm damn selfish. I want you Hermione and I think I get that now," He said as he looked into her eyes, a small smirk coming to his lips, "And I've come up with an idea. We have something here right? However mental it is…and I figure we're screwed anyway, so why not make it official? So what do you say Granger, want to be my girl? We'd give the school something to talk about," He looked into her eyes and she looked at him and she was silent for a few moments, "Is that a yes? I can get if you'd rather kick my ass or something first…I deserve…"

"Kiss me…" Hermione whispered, cutting him off as their eyes remained connected, locked. He looked somewhat surprised by what she said, but he knew her answer. He moved to lean over her somewhat as he leaned down to lightly touch his lips to hers and kiss her softly, binding his question as they sunk into her bed entwined, awaiting much needed sleep.

**********

"Sure you're ready for this?" Draco asked Hermione as they stood outside the doors of the Great Hall in the morning, hands interlocked. She looked at him and saw nervousness in his eyes and she gave him a look.

"I should be asking you that. Is the King of the Slytherins ready to shatter his image by walking into the Great Hall with a Mudblood Gryffindor?" As she asked this he frowned.

"Don't call yourself that….and yeah, I'm ready. You know I could give a shit about all that anymore." His grip on her hand tightened as he pulled her towards the doorway where most of the school sat eating breakfast.

"You used to call me that." She said softly as they slowly entered the room, a few eyes beginning to glance in their direction before more and more began to stare and whisper. 'Is that Hermione Granger holding hands with Draco Malfoy?' 'Never could have predicted that…' 'Think she's cursed?' 'I thought Granger had a thing for Weasley.' A thousand comments flew and Hermione turned beat red as Draco glared everyone he could down angrily.

"Yeah well I'm an arrogant, thick, bastard but I thought you'd figured that one out by now," He said quietly to her with a smirk and she smiled back. Her eyes suddenly met McGonagall's who looked less then happy at what she saw and Hermione's smile faded, "I'll meet you after breakfast. Might want to put a bib on Weasley, he's drooling all over his eggs." Draco said quickly as he leaned down to peck her lightly on the lips as they parted, hands lingering for a moment before they took seats at their separate tables, their relationship resurrected now as boyfriend and girlfriend. Their reputation in the school however, fading faster and faster with each glare obtained from Slytherin and Gryffindor sides. Especially from the Headmistress and the red haired boy who had disappeared the room as Hermione sat down across from Harry.


	10. Help From the Prince

**AN: I am wicked sorry for not updating sooner, things have been insane with school and play practice. But vacation is almost here so I should be finishing this story, only two chapters left! There isn't much Draco and Hermione action in this one, but you will know the cure. And the next chapter gets sexy ;). Once again thank you all for the great reviews, I do this for you guys! And the end is in sight, I should be updating sooner hopefully. So until then, like always, enjoy =D **

_You saved my heart, you dont even know me. You saved my dream, you heard me scream. My lost soul was saved by a stranger who saved my life? You saved my life. Why did you do it? What made you stop and turn around? Do you even know the reason why you had to help me out? Just when I knew it, it was my time to sink or swim, you came along and pulled me out of all the trouble I was in. Why did you do it? Why did you risk your life for mine? Who'd have done the same for you? Who'd have saved you just in time? Where did you come from? How did you know I was alone? That I never stood a chance to find a way out on my own. You sent a message that I was hanging by a thread. You saved my soul, love that you have shown me, you saved my life. -Life of a Stranger_

This was it. The beginning of the end. Three moths had passed, three months closer to the date of death set for Draco Malfoy. Despite the efforts of Harry and Hermione the future seemed dismal. They had exhausted almost all the resources they had. Ron excluded himself from all of this, whether it be sleepless nights in the Restricted Section or sneaking into Slughorn's potion stores to brew up some sort of draught to try and save Draco. Still nothing worked, no answers were leading them to the cure. And Draco was getting no better. He looked sicker, weaker, something about him wasn't the same. Death was coming slowly and it was not sparing him. He tried his best to remain strong for Hermione but she saw through him, she always did. As for his Dark Mark…it had become even more enflamed and bloody, angry red veins branched out along his skin and every night Hermione made him soak his arm in essence of Murtlap to help it. Still they had other problems as well, Ron was furious at what his friends were doing and McGonagall wanted to talk with Hermione but she avoided the situation with expert skill. Until one day McGonagall caught her alone in the hallway, Hermione knew it was now or never.

"Ms. Granger you know I've been wanting a word for some time now and I can't help but think you've been doing everything in your power to avoid me," The Professor said, her lips in a thin line as her cat-like gaze met Hermione's who was unsure of what to say, "Now please, come to my office so we can discuss a few matters," Hermione opened her mouth to make an excuse but McGonagall was ready, "I will gladly give you a pass if you fear being late to any class." Internally Hermione's heart sank as she followed the woman back into her office and sat down across her desk from her. McGonagall gazed at Hermione from over her glasses as she laced her fingers together on top of the desk.

"Professor, is this really necessary?" Hermione began to ask but the witch held up one hand to stop her as her eyes met Hermione's with a strict gaze.

"Ms. Granger, you know what feelings I have towards you and the responsibilities I expect you to adhere to yet you have proven me deftly wrong. Please don't think I'm wrong in being surprised, shocked even to see you walking around the hallways of this school hand in hand with Mr. Malfoy. My assignment for you was to watch him, report any suspicious behavior, certainly not began a romantic relationship with him. I chose you for this post not only for your academic record, but also your character. I had every right to believe this sort of event would never happen and still it seems you have proven me wrong. Do you care to explain yourself?" By the end of McGonagall's speech, Hermione felt her cheeks redden, she felt terrible. She had failed her duty and now she would have to further betray Draco's secret.

"I don't know what happened exactly Professor…but he's changed. Yes his exterior is still as arrogant as ever, but whatever part of him that may've been brainwashed into following Voldemort is gone. I know this is hard for you to understand…but I really do care about him and I trust him. He was never a real Death Eater, you must believe that." Hermione pleaded with the witch before her who leaned back in thought, "There's so much more to the story I don't think it's my place to tell you though." Now McGonagall looked at her with interest.

"And what would that be Ms. Granger? Is he in some sort of trouble?" McGonagall raised her eyebrow questioningly and Hermione sighed softly.

"He is…just him. I'll just say this: Voldemort wanted someone to blame for his failures and he ended up on poor terms with the Malfoys. So he targeted the one thing he thought Lucius and Narcissa cared for the most…" Hermione said softly as she met the woman's stern and concerned gaze. McGonagall leaned forward.

"Ms. Granger I do hope whatever is gong on you will ask my help if it's needed. You've proven yourself capable but some things are just out of your control. If it is something involving V-Voldemort I insist you let me and anyone else capable help." She replied and although Hermione knew the help would be beneficial, part of her didn't want it at all. If anyone was going to save Draco, it would be her, and damn McGonagall for ever getting in the way of it. Hermione knew how capable she truly was and anyone else being involved would only complicate things.

"I appreciate the offer Professor…I truly do…but this is something you can't help us with. It has to be me. I know you won't agree with that…" Hermione saw her open her mouth to rebuttal what she was now saying, "But you're going to have to accept it because I will fight you on this." Whether it be the determination shining bright in Hermione's eyes or the seriousness in her words, McGonagall's eyes widened in surprised as she leaned back, silent for a few moments.

"Then Ms. Granger, I suppose you've made up your mind. But I advise serious caution in this. You want me to be uninvolved, then I'll be uninvolved. But if this circumstance blows up in your face, I trust it won't be me whom you run to." The words stung more than she'd like but Hermione stared her old Professor straight in the eyes and nodded as she turned and disappeared from her office, wanting nothing more than to see Draco and try even harder to save his fragile life.

************

"You're braver than I thought Malfoy, I'll give you that," Harry said coldly as he shoved a biscuit into his mouth. Draco scowled his infamous scowl as he glanced at Harry and then down at the empty plate before him, "Never though you'd be caught dead sitting here. What will all your little friends say?" Harry smiled darkly in spite of himself, he didn't have to be nice to Draco, he only vaguely felt sorry for him. It was Hermione he really cared about. The last few months he had tried to avoid Malfoy altogether but that was hard considering he and Hermione were increasingly spending more time together. And now seeing Ron had become a problem as well.

"I could give a flying fuck what they think about me Potter. And as for sitting with you, I'd rather swallow a doxy. I'm here for her, you know that as well as I do." Draco sneered as he crossed his arms and looked at Harry. Ron sat away from them, but close enough to hear at the Gryffindor table. His anger was with Draco and Hermione, not Harry even though he was helping. Ron could at least make peace with that.

"Well can you at least eat a bloody apple or something? I don't like you watching me eat…it's freaking me out…" Harry muttered as he took another bite of food and Draco laughed darkly.

"Gave up eating a few weeks ago." Draco replied dully and Harry looked over is glasses at him with a frown.

"Giving starvation a go are you? Here I thought you were actually giving us a chance to save your ungrateful ass and you're throwing it away. Damn good boyfriend you are…" Draco slammed his fists onto the table at Harry's words and a few people jumped but Harry remained completely composed.

"Stop trying to get a rise from me Potter….I'll make you eat your damn words." Draco hissed through gritted teeth and Harry smiled smugly just as Hermione can running in after seeing McGonagall and sat next to Draco who was still glaring daggers at Harry. She saw this and rolled her eyes at them.

"Could you give it a rest? Honestly….If I hadn't arrived on the train with you both seven years ago I'd think you're abnormally tall first years…." Her words silenced them both as she began to grab food, none of them noticing the slight, grudging smile that had appeared on Ron's lips, "Anyway, I just spoke with McGonagall. I didn't tell her much of anything but she'll be off our backs now, for good." The slight sad look hidden in Hermione's eyes wasn't unnoticed by the two boys. Draco tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and Harry offered her a sympathetic gaze. She was simply happy that Harry had stopped making gagging noises every time Draco touched her.

"I doubt she'd be able to help much anyway…we've checked nearly everywhere. What else could she possible know that we haven't found? The only real help would be Dumbledore." Harry said as he glanced at Draco who wouldn't meet his gaze. There was just too much pain in the statement he made.

"That doesn't mean we're giving up. There's something out there…an answer…a clue and I plan to find it." Hermione replied with determination as she turned to Draco and their eyes locked in a silent conversation, the same one they always had: her hope and his pessimism. Still she reached her hand out and touched his cheek, his eyes closing and Harry sighed as he tried his best to concentrate on his food as a few owls began to fly in for late mail. Pigwideon was one of them who landed excitedly next to Ron who took off the letter attached to his leg and he took off after stealing a piece of bread from his plate. Harry and Hermione inadvertently gazed over to see what it was. Watching Ron's face as he opened the letter and read it told them it wasn't good. He frowned deeply, his face paling as he did.

"What it is mate?" Harry asked as Ron stood up, visibly upset, his fists clenched as he gazed at Harry and then over to Draco and Hermione who simply looked at them.

"Read it yourself…" He muttered angrily to Harry as he stared at the other two before throwing the opened letter at Harry and taking off from the Great Hall in an angry storm. Harry met Hermione's gaze before picking the letter out.

"Should I read it aloud?" He asked as he looked over at Draco who frowned and Hermione nodded, her eyes filled with concern despite her and Ron's situation as Harry began to read: "_'Ron- Things are getting hard here at home. Your father's having a terrible time at work, the Ministry is still in a chaotic state and they haven't been able to properly pay anyone. And George….well…you know he hasn't been the same since Fred…The joke shop's gone under. He's living back here and Percy as well. You might need to put some of your plans for after school on hold for awhile and get a job, we just can't afford much right now. I'm sorry to have to write this all to your dear, but you had to know. Time are hard but we'll get through it, we always do. I love you, Ginny, and Hermione. Love-Mum_. '" When Harry finished they all looked at each other, Hermione distraught, Harry frowning, and Draco's face blank, "I'll just give them some money, make them take it."

"Harry you know that won't work. They would never accept…..no wonder he was so upset. I know he had a lot of plans…" Hermione said softly and Draco rubbed her back softly, knowing she was upset.

"You're right…they be ok though. But I will say this, that's one shitty letter for anyone to get. I'll talk to him." And with that Harry too left, leaving Draco and Hermione alone in the Great hall.

************

Later that night Draco walked into the Common Room and found Hermione half asleep over a huge pile of books. He sighed when he found her and walked over to put his hand on her shoulder, "Hey love, you need to come to bed…" He said softly and she groaned, lifting her head to look at him.

"I'm working on saving you….can't I research a bit longer?" He frowned slightly and shook his head, helping the sleeping Hermione up into his arms and she groaned again, "You're cheating…"She mumbled as he held her up, putting his arms securely around her.

"I'm not cheating, I'm taking advantage of the situation. And you need sleep. And I need you to sleep properly, so we'll both win. But you'd better stay awake because I'm not carrying you upstairs." He said with a small smirk and she pulled back slightly to look at him, her eyes half closed.

"You'll have to wake me up somehow then…" She muttered with a sleepy grin and he let out a laugh.

"Damn Granger, I think I like you sleepy…" He whispered with a smile as he leaned into her and lightly touched his lips to her closed eyes. She sighed happily as he trailed them down her cheek and across her face, kissing her lightly on the tip of her nose and the corners of her lips. He barely let his lips touch hers and her eyes opened, a small pout on her lips.

"Now you're really being unfair…"

"Yes and you're awake," He smiled as he finally kissed her, spinning her around towards the stairs before pulling back and taking her hand as they walked up into his room, "So any leads?" He asked dully as he pulled off his shirt and turned his back politely as he pulled on pajama pants and she put on her pajamas she never bothered to take out of his room. She turned and frowned slightly as she looked at his arm, the bandaging off and the Mark looked even worse, painful and raw, bleeding slightly.

"Let me do something for that…" She said softly as she moved over to him and they sat in front of the fireplace as she began to examine his arm, "And no, not much…a few possibilities maybe. But we can work on it in the morning. I'm exhausted." She replied, not wanting to meet his gaze, she knew only sadness waited there. Instead she went to bandaging his arm, lighting touching her lips to the injured Mark before wrapping it up, a gesture that always made him slightly awestruck.

"I have faith in you Hermione, even if it's not in myself. You're doing your best you know," He said softly as she looked up into his eyes and he knew how much effort she was putting into trying to save him. He rubbed her cheek softly with his fingertips, "I think the only person left who knows it is my father."

"I wish you'd let me go and talk with him," As Hermione said this, Draco instantly frowned. They had this discussion more times then either one could count after he had relayed that his father knew the cure, "Could you at least tell me what he did tell you?" After the scene of Draco's return, it took him awhile to open up about what had happened Christmas Day, and even then he barely gave an detail. He sighed at her words.

"First off, there's no way in hell I'm letting you go there. He's a git and there's no way he'd tell you anything, not after your history. He's determined that I don't know what it is. All he really said was that whatever the cure was, Voldemort believed I would never use it because it would disgrace my family too much. And my father said he'd never risk himself in telling it to me." At Draco's words, which he spoke in a dull tone, Hermione's eyes widened gazing at him as a thousand thoughts now raced through her head.

"Why didn't you mention that earlier!" Hermione shrieked as she stood up, Draco watching her with one eyebrow raised, "Did you have to be so bloody secluded about the whole thing? This makes so much sense now!"

"Enlighten me oh mental woman." He said with a grin and she rolled her eyes as she began to pace back and forth in front of the fire, brows furrowed, trying best to remember information she had read.

"Whatever the cure is, it's connected with your parents. If Lucius wouldn't risk himself in telling it only means he has something to lose as well. It must have something to do with your family, not necessarily you. This might prove very useful…I just need to figure out what Voldemort thought would disgrace your family. I need to go find Harry!" Hermione said quickly as she grabbed one of Draco's robes and threw it over her shoulders as she moved towards the door but he quickly grabbed her wrist.

"You shouldn't be going through all of this….you're exhausted….and Potter won't like to be disturbed on account of me, trust me on that." Draco said darkly but she gave him a stern look, moving back to touch her lips to his before slipping from his grip.

"I don't care what you or Harry think, I'm doing this because I want to. And you're going to have to accept one of these days that I'm going to fight for you. And I care about you. Ok?" And she disappeared from his room before he had the chance to respond to those words, not letting her know what they truly meant to him.

***********

"Bloody hell…." Ron whispered as he opened the third package he'd received in two days. Harry watched silently as he gazed into the box filled with galleons, eyes wide. They started to arrive from different owls without a tag, but it was real gold and neither one of the boys knew who the money was coming from. Ron looked up at Harry with a frown, his eyes focused on reading Harry's face, "C'mon…it's you isn't it? I don't want your ruddy gold…"

"For the millionth time Ron, it isn't me. Shove Veritaserum down my throat if you don't believe me. But if I wanted to help you out, I'd just do it. You know I wouldn't be this sneaky about it." Harry replied and Ron looked into his eyes, sighing once he was convinced.

"Think it was Hermione?" Ron asked softly and Harry gave him a look.

"Not a chance…." The somewhat hurt look in Ron's eyes made Harry feel bad, "Not that she doesn't care or anything, but she's a bit preoccupied. Plus she doesn't have a lot of gold on her own, her parents use Muggle money, remember?"

"Yeah…I just wish I knew who it was. I've sent it all to my mum, she's going mental trying to get me to figure it out." Ron said as he closed up the box full of gold and looked back at Harry. Just as he did Ginny plopped down next to Harry and planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Yes but if you knew you'd be embarrassed and angry at whoever it was, and don't try to deny it. Besides, it's not cursed or anything. Whoever it is must really be decent to be giving us so much gold." Ginny said with a shrug as she grabbed a piece of toast and took a bite.

"I guess you're right. Still…I'd like to thank them sometime. " Ron said softly as he looked down at the box. Harry was silent in thought, he wanted to know who Ron's benefactor was, and he was determined to find out.

************

The Owlery was the one place Harry hoped he'd be able to find out who'd been sending Ron the gold, if it was someone in the school that is. And so the next morning he woke up right after dawn and made his way up to the Owlery. He had brought his Invisibility Cloak, happy at a chance to use it again, and waited. He wasn't there for a half hour before he got his answer. And it was the least person he suspected, yet somewhere in the back of his mind he had known. Draco Malfoy carried a box identical to the ones Ron had been getting over to a large tawny owl who hooted sleepily at him. Draco's falcon cawed impatiently at being neglected but Draco hushed it, clearly trying to be secretive. Harry watched him a few more minutes as he attached the package and told the bird to fly into the Great Hall. As it flew off, Draco's eyes watched it, and Harry pulled off his cloak, revealing himself.

"So it's you…" He said softly and the startled Draco spun around, his eyes slightly wide but he quickly regained his composure as his eyes narrowed at Harry.

"And what do you mean by that, Potter?" He asked sharply but Harry simply crossed his arms, examining Draco's face.

"You're the one who's been sending Ron the galleons…admit it."

"Even if I did admit…would you tell him it was me?" The question that slipped from Draco's lips quieted both of them. Harry looked into his eyes and knew his answer.

"No. I don't think he'd understand, and he'd probably be pissed as hell…but I don't really understand either. Why are you doing this?" Harry asked softly and Draco looked away, not wanting to be in this situation at all. Anywhere but here. But after a moment he turned back, sighing.

"I know you can't seem to get it through your thick head that I'm changed, and you're only helping Hermione because for some mental reason she cares about me….but I'm not the biggest bastard there is anymore ok? My father's much better at that, " Draco scowled at the thought, "I knew Weasley was going through some troubled times and thought I'd extend my hand. My family isn't exactly struggling….and with my mother going mental in St. Mungo's, my father rotting away in Azkaban, and me a month away from dying I figured I'd help someone who needs it. I don't."

"Fair enough…but you hate Ron. Shit, you hate me even. Why help him?" Harry asked and Draco exhaled sharply, still hating every minute of this conversation.

"Listen. She cares about him, and why I don't know. I was ready to kill him when I found him trying to force himself on her…" The image infuriated Draco and made Harry realize that Draco had been the one to save Hermione, he understood now why he had affected her so deeply, or at least somewhat, "I may hate him, but Hermione doesn't as much as it may seem she does. And he doesn't need another reason to get moody like a little girl and cause her grief. Now can we end this?" Draco asked impatiently and Harry took a step towards him, "And for the record, I don't hate you, just dislike heavily."

"Well I dislike you heavily too. Although clearly there is something of a heart hidden inside the git exterior. I guess we're even now in a way aren't we?" Harry said as he looked at Draco who let out a dark laugh,

"We'll never be even Potter, I can't atone for all the shit I did, no matter how many good deeds I do. The fact that you and Hermione are helping me out so much still blows my mind. And I'm grateful. Even if I don't show it to you. And while we're on the subject of our feelings…" He gritted his teeth as he spoke the word, "Best go ahead and say that I'm sorry, as miniscule as that is. It doesn't fix anything…but I am."

"I figured you were. And maybe we can't be even, but we can at least be civil. Things could've been different you know…Dumbledore offered you protection, he offered to help you…why did you turn that down? This all would've ended up so much better." Harry said, brows furrowed and Draco's face was pained in memory, but he barely showed it.

"You should know by now how big of a coward I am. I used to think for a long time how better my life would have been if I chose the right side. I know it's late now, but I've chosen it. Maybe if I had before I could've saved my family and maybe my life too," Harry nodded as Draco spoke, "We're not so different Potter. I took the same role as you except for the bad guys."

"I know. But it's the past. You've made the right choice. Now it's just up to fate to decide I guess. But I'll tell you from experience fate sometimes is wrong." And then Harry cracked a small smile and grudgingly Draco retuned it.

"Yeah I suppose you're living proof of the impossible eh Potter?"

"Yep. We should go find Hermione, I think I've got an answer to how we learn your cure."

***************

"So you're saying I have to accept death? How the hell will that change anything?" Draco asked frowning as he sat on a couch in his and Hermione's Common Room, her and Harry looking down at him.

"Listen, last year I walked into the Forbidden Forest knowing I was going to die, accepting it. That's why I got the snitch to open and got the Resurrection Stone. I accepted death and so Voldemort couldn't really kill me. That's when I….talked to Dumbledore," Harry paused somewhat on the last part, those memories somewhat private to him, "I think you might have a similar experience if we do it right."

"One problem Potter….I can't die. Trust me on that." Draco replied as he glanced up at Hermione, Harry simply crossed his arms impatiently.

"I see why you're coming from Harry, and it makes perfect sense! Every time you've gone to try and kill yourself, part of you still knows you won't die, and part of you doesn't want to. You need to fully accept your death and willingly lay down your life. No looking back, just complete acceptance." Hermione replied and Harry nodded in agreement.

"That's what you did Potter? Just accepted you would die? How could you…" Draco stopped himself, not wanting to express the slight admiration he unwillingly felt for the sacrifice Harry had made.

"I did what I had to do…now you need to do the same thing. Can you accept your death?" Harry asked and Draco looked down, trying to decide if he truly could accept his own death. What if it really did kill him? No…that was exactly what he couldn't think. He had to give up everything in order for this to work, and as cowardly as he could be he knew what had to be done.

"Yes. I can do it." He said darkly after a moment and looked back up at them. Hermione bit her lip softly as she glanced at Harry who nodded.

"Then we'd better get going, I've already nicked a poison from Slughorn's stores. And I got a bezoar just in case." he smiled slightly, trying to be reassuring at Draco who still frowned. Hermione sat down beside Draco as Harry hand her the vial of red liquid. She took his hand in hers.

"This is one of the most lethal poisons kept in this school, I'm not even sure why Slughorn has it, but it'll be quick and virtually painless. And whatever happens I won't leave your side, ok?" Hermione said the last part softly and he turned to meet her gaze, his eyes somewhat fearful. Never until this very moment did he believe he would truly die, no matter how many times he had tried and thought he wanted it.

"What if this is it Hermione?" He said softly and she moved her hand to his cheek as their eyes met, Harry watched stoically as they had their moment.

"You can't think that way Malfoy. Don't think about yourself for once…Just let go. Just accept it." Harry replied firmly and Draco nodded as he held his hand out for the potion and Hermione handed it to him. Silently he moved in and kissed her, not caring that Harry was there. She fought back tears as she kissed him back softly, a kiss of care and sweetness not lust. He pulled back and looked at Harry who nodded to him and he nodded back. This was it.

"I'm going to die…" He whispered softly, the same words Harry once said with his lips against his Snitch. Draco shut his eyes, remembering all at once every memory he could conjure. His mother. His father. Voldemort. Harry. Ron. His friends. Hermione. All of them…swimming endlessly in his head, calling his name, driving him mad. He saw his attempts at death, his weakness, his cowardice. Every time he had failed, every remark he had foolishly said. He let it go. His mind was empty, void. He didn't think of the curse or his will to die. He even pushed all his feeling towards Hermione back. There was only emptiness, the sound of his distant heart. And he would die. He wasn't scared. He wasn't eager. He was just…Draco. Give himself up for what was right. He had chosen correctly, for once. And with that his right hand pulled the stopper off the vial, eyes still shut as he poured the liquid down his throat, burning as it went. Sensation filled his body, and he was indifferent. He lost feeling, Hermione's touch was gone. Everything was beginning to fade. Forgetting was bliss. Acceptance was key. And with these vacant thoughts he let himself slip into darkness.

_*************_

_White. All Draco could see was blinding white as his eyes slowly opened. As he stood he realized that something was different. He looked down at his hands and found them to be small. He touched his face but knew it was his own, this was no dream. He was young….wearing his old school robes. He was eleven again, standing at King's Cross station. He stood on the bridge over looking where the trains would be, except the entire station was deserted. He didn't understand….he must be dead….this seemed like death. He felt a thousand eyes watching him, he could hear them whispering. One distinct stare watched him close, he could feel the dark eyes as he turned around and saw a man he thought he never would again. Despite the strength he always tried to show, he felt tears well in his eyes. _

"_Listening to Potter now are you? What would Lucius say?" Severus Snape spoke, the smallest of smiles coming to his lips as he walked over to Draco, looking down at him. As Draco met his dark eyes he felt a wealth of emotion flood over him for the man who had treated him like a son, tried to help him, and yet Draco had always been so cruel. _

"_I'm so sorry…" Draco said in a childlike voice and Snape simply nodded solemnly, understanding. _

"_There is no need for that Draco. I know why you've come, though none of us expected you to get this far…we're proud of you." Snape said softly and Draco couldn't stop himself. He began to cry. Crystal tearing falling down innocent cheeks. _

"_Everyone's here aren't they? Everyone who's dead…." Draco said softly as he wiped his eyes. Snape looked at him with a calm gaze, everything about his was calm, relaxed, happy even. _

"_No. This isn't where you think it is Draco. It's between. But they can see. You chose me. Though why…I suppose I may know. Either way I've come here to help you. Real or unreal." Snape replied and Draco looked up at him, confused._

"_Is this real?"_

"_As real as you make it…." As Snape this this a loud, angry, yell sounded around them, making Draco shiver, he knew that voice, he'd never forget it, "The Dark Lord is here, trying to find a way out. He's being driven back to a darker place. We keep him at bay." _

"_I can't let what his curse destroy me. I'm fixing what I've done….I have Hermione, Potter….I have so much left to do. There has to be a cure." Draco said, not wanting to dwell on the fact Voldemort still lingered somewhere, even if it was the afterlife. _

"_There is. He confided it to Lucius and I. I warn you now Draco, it requires great sacrifice…but we believe in you here. You truly have changed….her love has proven that among all else. Can you make a great sacrifice Draco?" Snape asked softly, still ever calm, ever wise. _

"_Yes, I can make it, I can do anything. But I don't think I can leave Hermione. I'll do whatever I have to in order to stay alive…" Draco said quickly, eager to know what such an impossible cure may be. Snape nodded slightly._

"_Then you can know," Snape's face suddenly went blank, his dark eyes lighting up suddenly like two beams of light, he opened his mouth to speak and that too was filled with light, his voice suddenly louder and not his own, as if a thousand voices were speaking with him, "The Dark Lord believed family was singular in your mind, the one thing you could never betray. Raised as a Pureblood he knew that Lucius had instilled in you one important belief….Mudblood was the worst thing a wizard could be. And so he created the one curse he believe you would never seek out the cure for. The only way to break such a curse put upon you is to become Mudblood. You must sacrifice being a Pureblood in order to live. Yet obtaining this cure is one of pain, extreme physical turmoil. And in order for it to succeed you must destroy the ones who made you. In becoming Mudblood it would make your parents nonexistent. They would be gone, the bloodline ended. And you would no longer be Pureblood. The great sacrifice must be made in a magical place or else the curse cannot be broken." At the end of his speech the light faded and Snape looked down at Draco, sadness barely visible in his dark eyes. Draco was silent for a moment, unable to believe such a thing was possible yet knowing it was so terrible perfect. _

"_Isn't there another way? Does my mother have to die?" Draco asked softly and Snape nodded solemnly. _

"_There is no other way….the Dark Lord made sure of that. It is your sacrifice that will save you Draco, your parents sacrifice. And you should know now it won't be easy." Snape replied and once more Voldemort's angry yelling could be heard. _

"_I don't know if I can…" Draco whispered as the screaming continued, closer now, more furious. Snape's eyes widened slightly._

"_He's coming. He knows. You need to leave now, they're calling you back. I've told you the cure, maybe now you can save yourself," The double meaning there was evident as Snape and Draco's eyes met, the screaming still deafening, "It's time to wake up…" _

"_Snape….thank you." Draco said softly as the screaming continued and the old potions master nodded, a small smile on his lips. _

"_Take care Draco. I'll see you again. Now go. He's here." Was all Snape said as Draco felt himself being pulled away, Snape's mouth opening to let out the screams they had been hearing, Voldemort's screams. It was then Draco watched horrified as Snape tried to fight Voldemort off but the dark wizard was fighting inside him, Snape's eyes beginning to turn to red slits and Draco knew he was about to be freed. He opened his mouth to scream but suddenly there was only darkness. _

*****************

He tried to scream again but realized quickly why he wasn't able to, there was a stone in his mouth, the bezoar. Draco's eyes shot open and the blurry images of Harry and Hermione came into focus as he began to gasp for air, ripping the stone from his mouth as he did. Harry looked worried and Hermione tried to calm him. But he couldn't be calm, not after all that.

"Draco! It's ok, you're ok….we're right here." Hermione tried to say to him but he sat up straight, gasping for air, trying to regain control over himself. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening his eyes again and looking straight at Harry.

"Voldemort's there. The Dead are all holding him back…trying to send him to darkness…." Draco said quickly, near incomprehensively but Harry still nodded, somewhat understanding. Hermione looked at Harry confused, but he knew explaining where he and Draco had gone would barely make any sense to her.

"What happened? Did you find out what the cure was?" Hermione asked softly and Draco turned to her, looking into her eyes. He was so happy to see her, to know he was alive again and having a second chance.

"I know what it is….Snape told me everything…" As Draco said this, Harry turned away. Ever since Snape had given him his memories even thinking about him instilled powerful emotion within him. Draco took Hermione's hands.

"What did he say?" Harry asked softly and all at once Draco began to retell what had happened. Harry's face was somewhat concerned, listening intently while Hermione looked almost heartbroken at what Draco had revealed, "How hard is it to get Muggle born blood?" Harry asked after he had finished.

"Extremely hard. The trial itself has only been attempted a few times in history. I read about during our research, I thought it could be a possibility….but surviving it is the catch. Most people have failed…" Hermione looked back at Draco, worried, "There must be another way, I can't let you do this. Not sacrifice yourself and your parents, especially if it's for my sake." Tears filled her eyes as she spoke but Draco wiped his thumbs under her eyes and caught them, holding her gaze.

"I know the risks. There's no other way…Snape said so," He knew as he spoke these words that it was the truth. This was the only way to save his life, even if it meant pain and death, "And I'm going to do it."

"But Draco…" Hermione said softly, knowing the pain that it would entail. She didn't want him to have more suffering, he'd gone through enough.

"I'm sorry Hermione, but I'm doing this. I need my second chance."

"When are you going?" Harry piped up and Draco turned to him, seeing something like pride in the Chosen One's eyes. He understood what Draco would have to do, and he respected him for wanting to go for it, he respected the change in him.

"As soon as possible. In a few days," He turned back to Hermione who looked agonized. He squeezed her hands, "You know I can't let you come…"

"I'll come with you. You'll need backup…." As Harry said this Draco replied quickly.

"No. I need to do this alone. Just me.," Draco said this Harry nodding, knowing he would want the same, "It just has to be me."

"Are you sure Draco? Can't we at least find another answer before you go off and try this?" Hermione said and Draco sensed her worry but he smiled slightly at her. He knew what had to be done, and after accepting death once before, he knew he could be ready.

"There's no other way. It's my sacrifice that will cure this, nothing else. And I plan to end this, once and for all." And with those words the three people, once enemies, friends, chosen, who all once faced an end, where now preparing to face another battle neither one of them had ever expected to fight.


	11. Trials of Pureblood

**AN: Ah.....second to last chapter! This is were things get sexy between Draco and Hermione, and I tried to made it classy, not smutty. I wrote this the way I saw it in my head, so I hope the whole cure part makes sense. I appreciate all the great reviews from you guys, and check out my other oneshot 'Run Away With Me' if you haven't already. I like Draco as a vamp =) Hopefully this last chapter will be up soon and bring in some closer and whatnot. Tell me what you think! Much love ;) Oh and the song that Draco sings is actually "All I Need" by Tom Felton haha!**

_I find the map and draw a straight line. Over rivers, farms, and state lines. The distance from 'A' to where you'd be. It's only finger-lengths that I see. I touch the place where I'd find your face, my finger in creases of distant dark places. Your words in my memory are like music to me. I'm miles from where you are, I lay down on the cold ground and I, I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms. After I have travelled so far. We'd set the fire to the third bar. We'd share each other like an island. Until exhausted, close our eyelids and dreaming, pick up from the last place we left off. Your soft skin is weeping, a joy you can't keep in. I'm miles from where you are, I lay down on the cold ground and I, I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms. -Set Fire to the Third Bar_

"I know we don't have a lot of time…but can't you just wait a little longer? I don't want you to go…" Hermione said softly as she rested her forehead against Draco's, both lying wrapped up in each other. His eyes closed as he ran his fingertips along her bare arm, sighing softly.

"You know there isn't another way….this is it. I don't want to go, but I have to. It's about time I manned up don't you think?" He asked her as he pulled back slightly, opening his eyes to lightly touch her cheek, "Hey look at me…" On his command she opened her eyes slowly and met the dark gray gaze she had learned to love so much, "I don't know what's going to happen, but I promise you it's going to be ok. Can you trust me on that?"

"You know I trust you…" She replied softly and moved her hand up to touch his hair, taking a piece of his white-blonde locks softly between her fingertips, "But does it have to be tomorrow?" Their eyes met and he pushed a strand of bushy curls from her cheek and rested his hand there.

"If I don't go tomorrow I'll only keep putting it off. And then before we knew it, it'd be too late. I don't want to wake up next to you one day and realize we're out of time. Damn you Granger for ever showing me that life was worth living…" A small smirk danced on his lips as he leaned in and touched his lips to her forehead. She still had a ghost of a frown on her lips and this made him sigh softly and sit up, "Stop being so bloody depressing…mind if I try and get your mind off things?"

"Be my guest." She replied softly as she too sat up. He flashed her a small smirk as he got up from his bed and went to grab his guitar from the other side of the room. Hermione blushed slightly as she watched him walk over in nothing but his boxers, clearly they'd become quite comfortable with each other. She herself had on only one of Draco's t-shirts and pajama shorts. He walked back over with his guitar and sat across from her.

"If you laugh or make fun of me I'll leave tonight, I swear." He said quickly as he shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You know I wouldn't laugh at you…" Hermione said crossing her arms and she looked into his eyes, seeing something there that surprised her greatly, "Are you actually nervous?"

"Shut it…" He mumbled as he closed his eyes again and positioned himself more comfortably, getting ready to play, "And yeah I am. I've been practicing a lot and I sort of wrote you this song…But you cannot, under any circumstances, tell anyone I did this ok? I still have some pride left…"

"You're being ridiculous…and for your information I think it's rather cute," She blushed slightly as she spoke and he grudgingly smiled slightly, "I didn't get you a guitar so you could sit alone and play. You shouldn't be so embarrassed…I'm sure you're not that bad."

"Well, we'll see." He said in a dark voice as he took another deep breath, looking back at her once more before he began to strum the strings lightly, nervously. She watched him, already surprised that it sounded like music, and more surprisingly, like good music. And then he began to sing, "'Cause I live to get lost on lazy afternoons with you. And what I'd give for any cause to turn a day into a few. 'Cause just one kiss is all I need, take my hand and let me lead far away to an empty place. I live to see your face smiling back at me after kissing you. Got a trick right up my sleeve if I'm missing you…'Cause I need to do to is close my eyes and you'll be right by my side. 'Cause I need is you. You're in my mind, everything's gonna be alright. 'Cause a thousand miles wouldn't keep me from seeing you. So if I only have one day left in my life, I'd make you my wife.I'd take your hand, fly to the warm sand. That would be grand. And in my last few hours, I'd find you some flowers. And for once, I wouldn't need my guitars 'cause right now I'd rather be in your arms," As he sang, his voice itself had surprised her, but the words themselves had made tears form in her eyes. Ash he finished he looked up and saw this, surprised himself that it had affected her so greatly, "I figured it fit with our situation a bit…." And with those words Hermione flung herself at him, their lips colliding as the guitar was pressed in-between them. Draco quickly pulled it out and moved it over to rest on the side of the bed, not taking his lips from Hermione's. He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer against him.

"That was beautiful…" She whispered between kisses as tears began to fall down her cheeks but his lips were there to catch them. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her, wanting every inch of him to herself before he left her tomorrow in uncertainty. His lips found her neck, their bodies pressed closely and she found herself thinking back to all the other times they had gotten intimate. They had been together but never completely together…ever since the first time it had almost happened at the Manor it seemed they both honored the proposition Draco had come up with. But now Hermione realized she had helped find the cure, they knew it. And so she knew what she wanted to do. She pulled back from him slightly and he looked at her with slight confusion but she simply moved to pull the shirt over and off her head and cast it aside, quickly retuning her lips to his to silence any remarks he may have.

"And what exactly are you doing?" He asked firmly as he pulled back and grabbed her shoulders, both her skin and his palms warm. She looked in square in the eyes, determined to show him she wasn't afraid, and she knew he understood, "You can't want to do this now…not when I'm leaving tomorrow…"

"I made a promise to you," She said as she met his gaze, moving her hands up to rest on his chest, feeling his pounding heartbeat, "And if you believe you'll come back then this isn't a big deal. This can be our goodbye…" Her voice softened as she moved in to catch his lips with her own but he pulled back again, determined to make his point.

"I made that promise when I was still an arrogant bastard…I didn't think at the time I'd ever end up where we are now," Hermione looked away from him as he spoke but he grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him, "I won't say goodbye to you. This isn't a goodbye, because I'll come back to you, one way or another, do you understand me?' His voice raised suddenly, somewhat passionately in what he said, reassuring not only her but himself as well.

"Then let us have this one night together Draco…" She replied softly and brought her hand up to touch his cheek, a small smile forming on her lips, "I want this. I want to be with you. And there's no one else I would want to do this with than you." The look of sincerity in her eyes convinced him and once more he moved in to press his lips to hers, the kiss filled with a lust and longing that made Hermione move back into him, wrapping her arms securely around his waist.

"Are you sure?" He asked softly as he pulled back for a moment, cupping her face in his hands and she smiled at him.

"I've never been more sure of anything." Was her firm reply and once more they pressed together as he eased her down onto her back, him supporting his weight as he kissed her, their bare skin touching. Draco's lips moved across her jaw to her neck as one of his hands trailed down her side and grabbed her leg, Hermione pulling it up against him as his lips caressed her neck. She touched her lips to his temple as he moved his hands down to her shorts, without hesitation she let him pull them off and away as his lips went back to hers. She bit her lips softly as she felt him against her, still somewhat nervous despite her want to do this with him. A thousand questions and thoughts danced through her mind as she tried to analyze it all in her head. He reached his hand around her back and she arched her back as he skillfully undid her bra and cast it aside, his hand coming up to cup her cheek and he smiled softly at her.

"Relax Granger…Don't think so much. It's just you and me." He said softly as his lips went back to hers, his hand once more exploring her body as she moved her own down to grasp the top of his boxers, slowly pulling them down and he kicked them off as he grabbed the blanket and pulled it over them. He looked in her eyes one last time to assure she wanted this, his eyes dark with lust and she nodded slightly as he pulled down her underwear, tossing them aside as his lips trailed down her skin and she let out a small gasp, feeling him smirk against her skin. It was then she knew she wanted this, her whole body humming with sensation as he pressed so intimately against her. He too felt the pull and wanted to make sure he wouldn't hurt her in his own lust. And so he met her gaze, eyes filled with passion and love as she opened up for him, both wanting nothing more then to come together, the final wall broken. She cried out softly but he quieted her with kisses, careful as he could be, and he knew he had to come back to her. He couldn't leave her, not after this. Hermione gripped his shoulders as she too began to understand. They moved together, as one, in love though neither dared confess it. Pleasure ran through both of them and finally he pulled back, planting soft kisses all over her face before moving to lay beside her, pulling her close beside him. She curled up into him, "Are you okay?" He asked softly, stroking her hair and leaning up to look at her and she smiled.

"Yeah….better than okay I think…" She blushed slightly and he let out a small laugh as he kissed her cheek, "Have I convinced you to stay yet?"

"Oh so that's what that was then? You trying to persuade me? You're bloody good at it…" He muttered and she sat up, clutching the blankets around her as she looked down at him.

"No, you know it wasn't to persuade you…I wanted to do that. If there was anyone who I would chose to take my virginity, it would be you. I'd always pick you Draco. Haven't you figured out yet that I care about you more than anything?" As she said this, her words filled with truth, he pulled her back down and kissed her softly, wrapping her in his arms.

"I'm glad you don't regret it…and for the record, if any other bloke got to do that with you I'd be pretty pissed," He said and she laughed softly as he stroked her arm, "Now get some sleep. Tomorrow's a big day, and I'm exhausted…"

"I wish it didn't have to come…" She whispered against his chest and he nodded.

"I know. But this night can't last forever can it?" And with that they both fell silent as they fell into sleep in the arms of one another, truly connected, and dreading the day to come and what it may bring.

*********

Draco woke up and knew on this day he would break her heart. But he had made a decision in the middle of the night, watching Hermione sleep against his chest. He wouldn't be waking her up and having a tearful goodbye. That was the last thing he wanted. So instead he woke up early and got dressed, already having packed anything he thought he may need for this trip. He didn't know what lay ahead of him, but it wouldn't be easy. Nothing was ever easy. And as he looked at Hermione sleeping soundly, so perfect, he knew this was true. He had knew for months what he'd gotten himself into and he'd dragged her down with him. But he hoped this way, things would be easier. And so he silently left the room to meet up with Harry.

"Where's Hermione? Thought she wanted to be here…" Harry asked as Draco arrived at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Despite spring having come, it was still chilly and Harry moved from side to side to try and stay warm.

"She was upset and said she'd rather stay in our room." Draco said, a blatant lie but he hid it well. He didn't like having to lie to Harry, but he knew this was better for Hermione, or at least, he hoped it was. He didn't want what could be their last memory together to be sadness. If anything he wanted it to be what had happened last night.

"Er…alright," Harry said with a shrug, accepting what Draco had said, "Anyway, I figure there's a few magical places you could try. If there's anywhere that's significant to your family, I'd go there. But since it involves Voldemort, you could try the town where he grew up…I've written down a few ideas in detail to help you out. But the one I think will definitely work is the Dean Forest. It's where I found the sword of Gryffindor in a lake last year." Harry handed him a folded piece of parchment.

"Potter…thanks." Was all Draco managed to say but Harry understood it meant much more than that.

"Still wish you'd let me come. You're less likely to totally fuck up." Harry grinned and Draco returned it.

"If you were in my place Potter you wouldn't let anyone tag along. Not even Hermione and Weasley." Draco crossed his arms and Harry nodded.

"Yeah I know. Just watch your back. I know you can't die but I dunno what this will do. I don't want to be the one who tells Hermione you aren't coming back." Their eyes met then, suddenly serious and Draco nodded.

"You won't have to." He said softly and now it was Harry who nodded slightly.

"Better get going then mate, the whole school will be up soon. It'll be better if you leave in some secrecy." Harry replied. Draco turned and took a few steps towards the edge of the grounds, turning back to look at Harry, the boy who had hated him for so long. Whom he had hated. Once more he didn't understand how this strange friendship had formed, but he was grateful for it.

"Harry…I appreciate this, I really do. Take care of her for me?" Draco said and Harry nodded, not needing to say anything else. And with that Draco turned his back to him, walking over the border for the grounds of Hogwarts, feeling green eyes on his back as he vanished from sight.

**********

"Harry where is he?" Hermione asked, furious, as she stormed into the Great Hall, only an hour or so after Draco had left. She had woken up to an empty bed, cold and bare, Draco gone. She thought she had been mistaken, that maybe he truly hadn't gone. But she soon realized that he had left without even telling her and that both upset and infuriated her. Why had he done it? She had found herself sitting on the ground, Felix gazing at her like she had lost her mind, sobbing uncontrollably. He had slept with her and left without any warning at all….and it hurt knowing that he might not come back. She knew the risks….over half the people who tried to change their blood status almost always met their end. It was this fear and anger Harry saw in her eyes as she slammed her hands onto the table, the Gryffindors closest to them all looked at her in surprise. Even Ron and Ginny looked surprised.

"What do you mean? He left almost an hour ago….said you didn't want to come down and meet me," Harry said the last part slowly as he realized Draco had lied, "Shit…"

"I woke up and he was gone…no note, no word, nothing…how can boys be so bloody thick!" Hermione yelled as tears filled her eyes but she angrily wiped them away. Ron opened his mouth to speak and Harry shot him a warning glance.

"He probably just thought he'd be hurting you less. Can't say I blame him, you'd probably act twice as mental if he'd woken you up. He's trying to protect you." All eyes shot to Ron as he spoke and he shrunk back slightly, shoving a huge bite of muffin into his mouth as Hermione looked at him in somewhat shock.

"And since when are you on his side?" She said in an almost shriek. Before answering, Ron actually swallowed his enormous mouthful of muffin to answer her.

"I'm on your side, in case you forgot," At these words Hermione fell silent, frozen by Ron's sudden words to her, "I may be acting like a total git, but I still care about you. I'm trying to be helpful here…believe it or not."

"But why? You were so against all…" Hermione began to say but Ron stopped her. Harry watched with interest and Ginny leaned her head on his shoulder, paying close attention to what was happening, intrigued.

"I may be against it….but I'm sick of fighting. You're my bloody best friend for Merlin's sake! And exams are coming up." A huge grin light up the red heads face and Hermione fought a smile as she smacked him in the arm. He laughed and rubbed his arm as she down beside him, her smile instantly vanishing as she thought back to Draco.

"I'm happy Ron, I am….but I don't know what to do…" She looked at Harry who gave her a sympathetic gaze, "I hate being blind in this whole mess. He didn't even say goodbye to me…"

"It's out of our hands for once. We're so used to being the ones dealing with all things involving Voldemort but he has to do this on his own. We were never looking for any type of redemption…he is. All we can do is wait." As Harry said the words, Hermione knew they were right, but she hated accepting them. The four friends looked around at each other and grimly knew he was right as well and despite their past feelings for Draco Malfoy, they hoped he would succeed.

*********

The journey was one he expected to be challenging, but for Draco Malfoy, he had no idea what he was doing. He had packed a small tent, changes of clothes and certain necessities, even food when he decided he wanted to eat. And as the fruitless days passed he only felt worse, and he missed Hermione. Harry list had helped, but not nearly enough. Every place he ventured to was certainly one with known magical influence, but no matter what he did, what he offered, nothing happened. He would plead aloud his request, wave his wand, offer up gold…but nothing worked. Even drawing his own blood proved useless. And so he spent each day at a different place, trying to figure out what he was doing wrong and draw a reaction. But time was passing, and if he didn't find a solution soon he'd be out of it.

Two weeks passed. Two weeks of wasted time with only a week left until his birthday. And as each day passed he grew more and more sick. The Dark Mark on his arm bled constantly, the red veins of Voldemort's mark had engulfed his arm and shoulder, threatening to overtake his entire being. Draco had given up eating, not out of boredom, but out of pain. Everything he ate he couldn't keep down….he was weak. It was now he wished Hermione was there with him, more than anything. And so down on life, so sure he would fail, he decided to try the last place on Harry's list: the Dean Forest. Draco packed up his camp and Apparated from grounds of the Malfoy Manor to the forest, already sensing the magic within this place. Harry was right to have sent him here. Draco walked along the lush green grass, the light peering through the trees, a canopy of lights. It was beautiful. He remembered Harry mentioning a lake, and before he could try and find it, there it was. A small, fresh water pool ahead of him, guarded by a mass of trees. Draco stepped down to the water front and set down all of his things, kneeling down by the edge.

"This is it….my last shot…" Draco said softly to himself as he took a deep breath and pulled out his wand, "I offer up myself, Draco Malfoy, a sacrifice, to be reborn. To be made Muggle born," He spoke with sincerity, but truthfully he had no idea what to say, or do, "Please…I need to figure this out…" He whispered and as he did, a great gust of wind swept up around him, the water rippling. He looked down and for an instant, swore he saw an icy blue pair of eyes staring back at him. _More_…..Voices whispered in near silence, he barely caught it but what he did hear chilled him to the very bone, "More?" He replied as he took a deep breath and muttered a spell as he trailed the tip of his wand across his palm and let the crimson droplets fall into the water, causing another huge ripple, "I offer my blood…" _More…._The whisper called back and still he didn't understand.

"More? What more is there? Gold? Magic?" He called out but the faint whispering fell silent. He looked back into the water and saw the icy gaze looking at him, a reflection. It was then he realized whose stare it was, the eyes he had last seen frozen in death as their master fell from the Astronomy Tower. Draco suddenly began to shake. _Draco_….Dumbledore's voice whispered to him as the eyes widened, calling to him. His shape began to form in the water, an image of glowing white light. Other forms of people swam beneath the surface, whispering their thoughts, their eyes dead. A pool of lost souls, "No…" Draco said softly as he saw everyone he had ever known who had died within the depths of the water. His aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange, swam by, her mouth open in a silent mad laugh. He saw Fred Weasley, sadness enveloped in his gaze. He saw Lupin and Tonks, hands locked, eyes sorrowful. He saw Sirius Black reaching out to him. Snape was there, beside Dumbledore, watching him. Even the faces of countless Death Eaters, students, even Voldemort himself, eyes red as blood watched him, swam around like ghosts underwater. The only gaze piercing him was that of Dumbledore, whispering to him and him alone.

And for some reason, Draco couldn't take this, not now, now the voices and souls of the dead. It was too much to experience them. And without warning, he burst into tears. Draco leaned over the water's edge, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to gain control of himself but failed. Teardrops fell from his eyes down to his nose where one salty drop fell swiftly to the water. Where it fell the water rippled in glowing light and the surface began to bubble as more tears collided with the surface. Draco's eyes opened at the light, widening at the sight of the lake glowing bright. Dumbledore's white hands reached out from the water and grabbed hold of Draco's shoulders. Instead of fighting, Draco knew he had succeeded in offering himself as the wispy hands pulled him under into the water, filled with spirits, good and bad. Little did Draco know there were two sets of eyes watching him from the forest, shocked at what they had just seen.

*********

"I know you've been helping Draco, Potter, and it's about time someone filled us in to what's been going on." Blaise Zabini spoke as he leaned over the table in the library where Harry, Ron, and Hermione all sat. Pansy Parkinson and Greggory Goyle stood behind him, trying best to look less rude towards the Gryffindors they had hardly ever gotten along with. But they wanted answers, Draco had been gone for almost two weeks and they had been worried, even though he had tried so hard to severe their friendship.

"That isn't my place Zabini." Harry said coolly as he leaned back in his chair and Ron crossed his arms. Hermione on the other hand, sighed and gave the three Slytherins a sympathetic look.

"I don't know how much we should tell you, but I understand your concern." Hermione's eyes met Pansy's as she spoke and the Slytherin girl didn't hide her worry.

"If you understand Hermione then please, tell us what's going on. He may've decided to stop being out friend, but we haven't stopped being his," Pansy's friendliness towards them surprised Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but the nod of agreement from Goyle and the look in Blaise's eyes proved they were being truthful, "Is he at least ok?" Pansy asked softly and Hermione looked at Harry in a silent conversation, wondering what they should tell them.

"Well you've already told enough people Hermione, couldn't hurt if you told the people who actually consider him their friend." Ron said gruffly and Hermione shot him a glare.

"Sit down…this isn't exactly a short story…" Hermione said softly and so Blaise, Pansy, and Goyle all sat across from the three Gryffindors as Hermione began to relay Draco's tale to them, leaving out certain parts and trying to protect Draco's secrecy as much as possible. By the time she had finished, Pansy was wiping tears from her eyes, Blaise's face had gone stoic, and Goyle looked down at his hands, "And he left almost two weeks ago….we haven't heard anything. And it's only a week away from his birthday." Hermione spoke softly as she fought back the tears that threatened her eyes. She too was extremely worried.

"No wonder he acted like such a git…" Blaise said softly as he looked to Pansy and took her hand, squeezing it softly, "You don't expect him to be able to do this on his own do you?"

"Well that was the idea…" Ron muttered and Blaise shook his head slightly, looking at Harry.

"He's a bit thick in case you haven't noticed," He glanced at Hermione when he said this, "I think we should go after him. At least check in. That way we can know he's alright. Or if things didn't work out…we'll know that too." Blaise kept his eyes on Harry, not wanting to see Hermione and Pansy's reactions at him insinuating Draco's death.

"Maybe you're right…" Harry replied, thinking about Blaise's offer and Ron rolled his eyes.

"Eager to hop back on the hero train?" Ron grinned slightly as Harry punched him lightly in the arm. Harry looked back at Hermione.

"It's your call….want me to go make sure he hasn't screwed up completely?" As Harry asked this, Hermione's eyes met Pansy's and she knew that she too was as worried as she was. They all were.

"Yes…but don't intervene unless he absolutely needs it. He wants to do this on his own and you need to respect that." Hermione replied and Harry nodded as he stood up, Blaise standing up right after him.

"I'm going with you." Blaise said firmly and Harry shook his head.

"No way Zabini…"

"Boys! Can we at least agree on that? Harry…let Blaise go with you," Hermione said quickly and Harry shot her a glare, "Come on…"

"Fine. But we're leaving soon. We'll go to the Dean Forest, it was last on my list. He'll end up there one way or another. Meet me in the Great Hall in a half hour." Harry said quickly and Blaise nodded, holding out his hand.

"Thanks Potter. All of you…we had no idea…" Blaise said as Harry grabbed his hand and shook it, everyone else standing up to leave.

"You deserved to know. And Draco does care about you all, even if he hasn't shown it. When all this gets resolved, it'll work out, I know it." Hermione said as they all met eyes for one last time, Pansy smiling thankfully at her, Goyle nodding slightly, and Blaise letting go of Harry's hand as he put an arm around Pansy and the three Slytherins left.

"Goyle's a real chatterbox isn't he?" Ron said lazily and Hermione glared at him.

"Ron! This is hardly the time for jokes!"

"Just saying…I've heard more out of potatoes than that bloke…"

**********

"Were those hands that just came out of the water?" Blaise asked Harry, his jaw nearly dropped as they had just watched Draco get pulled into the lake. It had been two days since they left Hogwarts and camped out by the lake in Dean Forest, just as Harry had said, Draco had shown up in one piece. But now things had suddenly turned grim.

"I think so….something's pulled him under. Whatever he did must've worked. This might be it…." Harry turned to Blaise and they were silent for a moment as Blaise drew his wand.

"We need to go in after him…" The Slytherin said as he turned to walk towards the bubbling lake but Harry grabbed him firmly.

"No. We can't do anything now, it's up to him. He has to do this alone. We just need to wait." Harry said quickly and Blaise turned back to him and sighed, knowing he was right. But they were both concerned, something very big was about to happen and neither boy knew how it would end. And so they sat back down on the chairs they had summoned outside of their magically hidden tent and waited for something, anything, to happen.

Draco was being pulled, down into the depths of the pure lake. Glowing white forms swam around him, whispering things. He knew they were dead…real or not…but his gaze was focused on Dumbledore who pulled him further down. He didn't have to breathe and he silently thanked the curse for giving him that ability, although part of him knew he may not of needed air anyway. Bubbles erupted around him, eyes transfixed on Dumbledore's icy stare. The spirit of his old Headmaster slowed down and they floated in front of each other, Dumbledore's frail hands still holding Draco in place. The spirits began to circle them, whisper to them, as Dumbledore gazed at him. _You want to make the ultimate sacrifice…your status as pureblood, a descendant of the House of Malfoy, to become Muggleborn. You must be judged. _Dumbledore's great whisper sounded in Draco's head and he nodded, understanding now that the dead would pass judgment on him. Other's began to whisper now, voices he knew, and voices he didn't… _Traitor… Liar… Coward…_These words stung because he knew the truth in them…_Redeemed…Changed…Loved…._ He didn't know what to think, or what was happening. But suddenly the bandaging from his hurt arm vanished and he wanted to explain why it was there, why he was forced into becoming a Death Eater, but before he could Dumbledore reached his hand out and grasped his arm as tightly as he could.

White hot pain raced through Draco's body as suddenly his vision went blank and a million memories began to shoot through his head. His father telling him lies as a child, his first day at Hogwarts, playing Quidditch, spending time with his friends, fighting with Harry, being held by his Mother, dueling, crying alone in his room, learning magic…..all light and darkness in his time as a child came flooding back. And then more memories began to flow. Getting attacked by Buckbeak, dancing at the Yule Ball, insulting first years, working for Umbridge, getting punched by Hermione, watching his father be taken to Azkaban, comforting his crying mother. Suddenly the memories began to grow darker, more recent. Meeting Voldemort, being manipulated into getting the Dark mark, trying to kill Dumbledore, crying alone in the abandoned bathroom, pointing his wand at Dumbledore, torturing his mother, trying not to lose himself in attempting to kill Tonks and Lupin, being punished by Voldemort, getting the curse, getting saved by Harry, Ron and Hermione, feeling victorious when Harry killed Voldemort, watching his father being dragged away, disappearing from the world as he watched his mother go insane…His whole life flashing before his eyes. And then it came to Hermione…the train ride with her, kissing her for the first time, helping each other sleep, her saving his life, falling in love with her…. everything… even the most recent and most private of memories was there. He knew now that all the dead could see inside of him too, this was his judgment, a reflection of his life. His innocence lost so young.

Dumbledore released his arm and Draco's eyes refocused, the spirits had ceased their swimming and now all of them formed a circle around Draco and Dumbledore, a ring of light, all whispering opinions Draco couldn't follow. _Our decision is made…._Dumbledore's voice called within Draco's head and his grey eyes widened as Dumbledore's eyes glowed white and he reached his hands out to press hard against Draco's chest. Burning. Where Dumbledore's hands touched his flesh turned hot, impossibly hot, a pain that spread through his whole body, worse than anything he had ever felt. He opened his mouth to scream but it was muffled by water, a great light beginning to glow around them and shoot to the surface of the water where Harry and Blaise looked on in awe. Draco felt as if he was dying over and over again as he realized blood was spilling out of his chest and into the water, crimson encircling them. Seconds passed as he felt as if he was going to pass out from the agony, excruciating as more and more blood spilled turning all the water red.

"Potter! We need to do something!" Blaise called out as he ran over to the edge of the lake, crimson beginning to overtake the glowing white but Harry grabbed him once more.

"Wait! We need to give him a chance!" As Harry said this, Draco felt the last of his life leave him….this had to be it. All thoughts were vanishing, all movement was gone. He was forgetting….everything except the pain. For one last moment his mind went to Hermione, hoping he'd see her again…hoping he wouldn't be stuck in this pool of dead souls for all eternity. If they couldn't be together in life then maybe she would find him in the afterlife. And with that his eyes closed, his blood vanished. It was done. Through the surface Harry and Blaise could see Draco, the light so impossibly bright, and it was then Blaise had enough. He went to step into the water but found the surface deflecting him. He couldn't go in. He walked out onto the water and knelt down, pounding his fist on the surface with no luck.

"I can't go in the water!" He growled to Harry who too tried to step into the water and failed. They both began to fire every spell they could and still nothing broke the surface. Draco floated lifeless at the bottom and both boys thought that was the end. There was no reaching him. They kept trying everything, but failed. Blaise finally looked over at Harry, breathing heavily from his efforts but knowing now it was pointless. They had done everything.

"Is that it then?" Harry asked softly as they both walked off the surface of the water. Blaise turned back to him, trying to remain composed as he nodded, biting his lips.

"Yeah…..I think it is…" Blaise said as he realized he just lost one of his best friends, he didn't save him. Harry put his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"We did everything we could…" Harry replied, trying to be comforting, wishing they had gone in after Draco when Blaise had said something. But he could have 'what ifs' now, the deed was done.

"I know we did…..doesn't make this any easier…" And with that the two Disapparated back to Hogwarts, knowing what pain awaited them there.

In the depths of the lake, the whispering continued, Dumbledore's hands still on Draco's still chest. _You have passed…_his voice called out as suddenly the blood began to dissipate from the water and the souls began to swim through Draco, renewing his life. Water from the lake began to pour into Draco's body from Dumbledore's hands, filling the boy up again with life. Rebirth. Draco's eyes shot open as he inhaled deeply the glowing white water. New life. New blood. The spirits ran through him, accepting his great sacrifice. At that very moment, an emptiness in his heart overwhelmed him and he knew what was happening. The true crux of the curse. Somewhere in a dark cell in Azkaban, Lucius Malfoy felt the breath being sucked from his chest and he let out a curse to no one, knowing his son had indeed succeeded in saving his own life. And suddenly he vanished from the cell, from Azkaban, from the world itself. Narcissa let out her final breath in relief, a smile coming to her worn face as she too disappeared, knowing her only son had been saved. Draco felt his whole body come back to life, his blood all restored. He felt now, more than ever, he had truly been given a second chance at life. And he closed his eyes as a smile formed on his lips, once more the bubbles encircling as all the spirits gathered together to raise him to the surface of the lake. As he broke the surface he gasped in air, the eyes of Dumbledore still on him as he called out his thanks and was pushed to the banks of the lake, the curse finally broken.

**********

"No…no that can't be…" Hermione said softly as she sank down onto the couch in her Common Room, Harry and Ron standing in front of her. Blaise had gone to tell Pansy and Goyle of what had happened. Harry and told Hermione and she couldn't believe him…she couldn't believe that Draco had failed. That he had…No. This wasn't happening.

"We tried everything to get to him, be we reacted too late. I'm so sorry Hermione…" Harry said softly and Ron reached out to touch her shoulder but she moved away from him, bringing her knees up to hold against her chest. She felt like she was falling part, that she was dying. Because he truly was gone….Harry wouldn't lie to her. After everything….Draco was gone, "Is there anything we can do?" Harry asked softly, knowing she was in shock, not being able to comprehend what had happened.

"Leave…" She whispered, unable to look at her friends in fear of completely losing control. Ron went to reply but Harry grabbed him and silently they left her, curled up on the couch. The moment the door closed she broke out in racking sobs that echoed in the emptiness of the room around her. Draco Malfoy was dead. They had tried so hard to preserve his life and now he was gone. It had been for nothing….maybe he was right all along. Maybe she should've stayed away…..because now it hurt more than anything. And she let her sorrow ring out around her, drowning everything else in pure, unbarred sadness.


	12. Aftermath

**AN: Terribly sorry for taking so long but I have been crazy busy the last two weeks. But I am happy to say this is it, the end, and although it wasn't thrilling to write, I'm so pumped I finished it! And I have some great ideas for another and possibly a cute oneshot. So once again, sorry for taking forever, but here it is, done finally. Tell me what you think, I love reading all your reviews. =) Thanks everyone for sticking with this till the end, it means the world to me. **

_Light up, light up as if you have a choice. Even if you cannot hear my voice I'll be right beside you dear. Louder louder, and we'll run for our lives. I can hardly speak I understand why you can't raise your voice to say. Slower slower, we don't have time for that. All I want is to find an easier way to get out of our little heads. Have heart my dear, we're bound to be afraid even if it's just for a few days. Making up for all this mess. -Run_

Draco lay on the soft grass beside the lake, breathing heavily the air as if he had just gotten his lungs back. There was a clarity to the world now, something in him changed. He realized now how precious life truly was. Without thinking he tried to bring himself to his feet, but as he did he collapsed again on the ground in exhaustion. All his muscles groaned at the force he tried to exert, his whole body felt like rubber. And so he laid back his head, now looking up at a night sky glittering with stars, and thought back on everything. He had to make it back to Hermione, it was vital. But for now, exhaustion was overcoming him, fatigue greater than he had ever felt. Weakly he reached over and grabbed his bag, pulling out his wand and a blanket. He slid the blanket over his tired frame and barely lifted his arm as he preformed a few protective charms around himself, knowing he didn't have the strength to set up his tent. He wanted to leave, he wanted to be back in Hermione's arms, but now his body was fighting back and he was powerless. And then, without warning, he allowed his eyelids to shut and drag him into a deep, welcoming sleep.

His eyes shot open, his mind finally breaking through the deep slumber to bring him back into reality. Hermione. He had to get back to Hermione. How much time had passed? He sat up and looked around, the forest dark and still, the water calm. This wasn't the same day….how long had he slept? Days? Weeks? It felt like forever. And yet he felt completely restored. Alive. He started packing up the few things he had splayed around, shoved a few pieces of bread down his throat because he found himself ravenous with hunger. He had to leave now, he was almost sure he'd been asleep for at least two days. He stood up and went to Disapparate but turned back to the lake, looking into the depths once more. "Thank you….I won't let you down." He said very softly and he swore, right before he popped from where he stood, he saw a pair of icy blue eyes gazing proudly back up at him.

************

The lake swelled angrily against the rocky cliff in which Hermione stood, gazing out at the setting sun. The sky was ablaze in golden orange and red, but the far off sky held a promise of a storm, the water sensed it. Hermione shut her eyes and listened to the sounds of the forest behind her and the lake beneath her. Not even these things could drown out her own agonizing thoughts. Thoughts that had plagued her head for two days. She never thought mentally she could hurt this much….feel like part of her had disappeared. Life without Draco seemed like it wasn't life at all. Ron and Harry were no help, she avoided them at all costs. They understood but at the same time they truly couldn't. She was alone again. She couldn't sleep, maybe she never would again. And he was gone. He had changed her life…he had changed himself…and now…She wiped back the tears that formed as she gazed back at the horizon, trying to forget. But forgetting was impossible.

"I never should have let you go…I should've tried so much harder…" Hermione whispered into the wind as it carried her voice away. And she meant what she said, always wishing to offer help and life and yet she had failed Draco. A big part of her, an irrational, saddened part, wanted nothing more than to jump from the ledge in which she stood. She knew death wasn't the answer, but she also hated having to deal with another person she loved being taken from her. And that she never would be able to get used to. It was then she realized what she had been trying to deny herself this entire time.

"Is this why you had to die? Because I loved you so much?" She felt tears run like rain down her cheeks but she ignored it, "And we both had to be so stubborn for so long to not see what was right in front of us….I'd go back if I could, change everything. I would've saved you and you're mother before this had gotten bad. We would've won this war, on the same side, together. And perhaps we would've had a happy ending. But heroes make sacrifices don't they? And you were the biggest hero Draco, whether you knew it or not, you were strong. And I saw everything within you, even when you broke my heart. Even as it's breaking now…" She closed her eyes and fought back to urge to burst fully into tears, "Because I know now I loved you, and that alone proves who you really are…."

As she spoke, Draco had appeared behind her, Harry having told him where'd she be. He stood there in shock at her words, at her, and watched her for a moment. His chest was fill to burst, the truth finally out as he stepped silently towards her. She loved him….she truly did…and he knew he was a changed man, he knew now what she had tried so hard to show him, "I loved you too…." He whispered very softly in her ear as he came up behind her, wrapping his arms firmly around her waist as she shut her eyes, her face slightly agonized, "I still love you…" She shook her head slightly at his words of love.

"I want to wake up….this hurts far too much…" Hermione said with her eyes squeezed shut, desperately trying to bring herself out of the dream she now believed she was trapped in. Draco realized this and let out a small, quiet laugh as he pulled her closer to him.

"You don't have to wake up Granger, you were never dreaming," At these words Hermione's eyes shot open in realization and she turned within Draco's arms, finally facing him and staring up into his gray eyes so filled with life and happiness. Her jaw dropped slightly as he brought his hand up to cup her cheek, "Glad to hear you really do fancy me." He grinned as he spoke and Hermione felt tears of joy well and spill over in her eyes as he leaned in to kiss both her cheeks softly.

"But Harry and Blaise…they said you were dead…" She whispered as she stared at him, still in awe and he shook his head slightly.

"It'll take more than that to get rid of me Granger…and to break my promise to you," He leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers, their eyes closing as she smiled, "Want to prove you've missed me?" He pulled back and smirked at her and she made a face at him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You're still a bastard…"

"But I'm your bastard aren't I?" And with his response, Hermione stood on her toes and pressed her lips to Draco's, a kiss filled with love that both of them had waited so long to achieve. A kiss of new beginnings and of new life. Cementing a future in which Hermione had thought was lost forever, but was now found again in the arms of Draco Malfoy.

*********

"You can't make me Harry." Ron said with a frown as he and Harry stood outside of Hermione and Draco's Common Room. Ron's arms were crossed in anger, not willing to be persuaded. Harry simply sighed and looked at him with a slight frown.

"You owe it to her, you've been a git the whole year, you do realize that right?" As Harry said this, Ron averted his eyes, knowing his friend was right, "Besides, he honestly isn't that bad. Sometimes forgiving can be your best friend mate. And it'll make her happy….he makes her happy…"

"Maybe I wanted to make her happy…" Ron said softly as he looked back at Harry who sighed and patted his arm comfortingly.

"If you really care about Hermione you'll stop being so thick. There's someone out there for everyone…"

"Yeah says the guy shagging my little sister." Ron said giving Harry a look and his eyes widened slightly.

"Remember those boundaries we talked about?"

"Yeah?"

"You've crossed them again." Harry responded dully and Ron nodded in agreement as Harry spoke the password and the portrait moved aside to allow them to enter. Draco and Hermione were sitting on a couch, deep in conversation as he relayed to her everything that had happened. As she wiped tears from her eyes she turned and saw her two best friends and a grin spread across her lips.

"Have you convinced him to be civil?" Hermione asked Harry as her and Draco stood up, moving towards the boys and Harry smiled slightly.

"As civil as a Weasley can be. Which I know isn't saying much…" Harry added the end part quickly as his glance went to Draco whom he knew was only waiting for some reason to verbally attack Ron. Despite everything Draco still had a dislike for the red head across from him, "Still can't believe you pulled it off Malfoy." Harry grinned slightly and Draco returned it.

"What can I say Potter, I'm a stubborn bastard…still, you deserve some credit in all of this. I owe you one, again." Draco said somewhat seriously and Harry nodded as he nudged Ron lightly who frown and shot a glare at Harry before looking to Draco with somewhat distaste.

"I guess we're supposed to be mates now or something…" Ron mumbled and Hermione looked at him with a narrowed gaze as Draco simply shook his head.

"We don't have to be friends Weasley, but we don't have to be enemies either. I'm not saying I like you, because I don't. But I will say I'm sorry for a lot of shit that's happened. And we've all been through hell here…" Draco held out his hand, "So can we at least agree on a truce? For her sake?" He nodded his head towards Hermione who simple watched the whole spectacle. Ron looked at him for a moment in thought before bringing his hand to shake Draco's.

"I don't fancy you either Malfoy…" He said in a low voice, "But I can agree on a truce. Even though the lot of you are mental." At this last thought a grin spread across his lips as they released hands. It seemed as if the mood had lightened somewhat and Hermione's eyes met Ron's in a silent 'thank you.'

"As much as I'd like to prolong the awkwardness here, I really should go see Pansy, Blaise, and Goyle," As Draco said this he turned to Hermione as if looking for the courage he needed to confront them. Hermione had told him about their concern and even how Blaise had helped Harry and Draco knew he had to make up with them, "I've put it off long enough." Hermione pecked him on the cheek before Draco disappeared from the room. Ron sighed as he did.

"Well it's official. I'm a nutter now too." He grinned and Harry returned it as Hermione playfully smacked him in the arm, her thoughts still with Draco as he made his way to the dungeons.

*********

As Draco entered the Slytherin Common room he felt everyone's eyes suddenly on him. Some were filled with curiosity for the boy who once ruled the entire House, others filled with malice towards the choices he had made to go against his House and friends, others were simply indifferent. But three sets of eyes watched him carefully as his gray gaze found each of theirs and he moved to where they sat. Blaise's face was somewhat stoic, not wanting to reveal his utter amazement that Draco now stood before him. He had only told Pansy and Goyle what he had seen, and they had been distraught. Thinking back to holding Pansy as she cried in his arms he glanced at her and saw her mouth slightly open in surprise, tears quickly filling her wide eyes. Goyle even looked surprised, after everything Blaise had told him he was certain Draco had died. They had even begun preparing to deal with the situation themselves. Yet here he was, alive and cured before them.

"I suppose I owe you all an apology…" Draco said with a slight grin, yet before he could say anything else Pansy had flung herself from the couch in which the three friends sat and threw herself into Draco's arms. His eyes widened slightly but he returned her rib crushing hug, tears falling down her cheeks, "I missed you too sis…" He said softly in her ear with a smile but suddenly she moved back slightly and started to smack him on the chest.

"You ruddy…" She began to say angrily, tears still in her eyes as she hit, "Thoughtless…ignorant…mental…thick….blonde…bastard!"

"Ow! Bloody hell Parkinson, do you have to damage the goods?" Draco asked quickly as he grabbed her wrists and suddenly she started to laugh as Blaise got up to gently pull her back. Goyle followed suit as the three boys looked at each other as if she had lost it.

"Brilliant Draco, you've thrown my girlfriend into hysterics. You'd have thought she'd seen a ghost," As Blaise said this a small smile crossed his lips and Draco echoed it, "Potter filled us in on everything….It's good to have you back." The two friends eyes met in a silent conversation both of them were too proud to speak aloud.

"It's good to be back…" Draco said softly as he looked at Goyle who crossed his arms as the smallest of smiles crossed his lips, "I wouldn't put you all through that again." The thought of Crabbe's death all caused them to go silent. It was Pansy who spoke finally.

"And here you said you didn't want to be friends anymore and you wanted to be left alone…you're the one who came back to us Draco. We never left." She smiled up at him and he reached out to mess up her hair.

"I feel like a git if it makes you feel better. Once I got your Christmas presents I knew I couldn't brush you lot off too easily. At least you know why now." Draco said and Blaise nodded.

"Thank Merlin for that Granger than eh?" "Never thought it'd be her." Goyle said in a low voice and Pansy smiled slyly as she remembered their conversation about Hermione all those months ago.

"Maybe those Gryffindors aren't so bad after all…" Pansy said as she wrapped an arm around Blaise's waist and he nodded as he thought about he and Harry's bonding experience.

"We owe them. I wouldn't be here without Potter and Hermione. Now it's like it should've been…we can graduate together. No wars, no curses, no more bullshit." Draco said with a smirk and Pansy crossed her arms and glared at him playfully.

"You still deserve the World's Biggest Git Award."

"I know Pans, I know."

**********

"Are you sure you're ok?" Hermione's soft voice called out and broke the trance Draco was in as they walked out onto the grounds of the Malfoy Manor. It was a week before graduation, his birthday, and all their finals were passed and done. They had decided that this weekend was a good time to get away and properly lay to rest the memories of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. Draco's hand squeezed Hermione's as he turned to look at her, a sad smile on his face.

"Yeah…I need to do this." He replied softly as they walked out into the gardens, the sun low in the sky. Hermione smiled at him reassuringly, knowing how much pain he was feeling. His sacrifice had cost him his parents. St. Mungo's had informed him that his mother had disappeared but he knew the truth. It took Hermione's help to explain to the guards at Azkaban what exactly had happened and she had made them swear they wouldn't speak a word of it to anyone. The last thing Draco wanted was the world to know everything. Yet he knew that if he couldn't bury his parents, he had to honor their deaths in some way, no matter how he felt. In his free hand Draco carried his parents wands as he and Hermione stopped in the center of the garden at the fountain. Draco looked down at the two wands, his fathers black, the handle a serpent, and his mothers white and delicate.

"She wanted to save you….she lead you to your dad didn't she? She hoped you'd be able to save yourself. She loved you Draco…" Hermione said softly, knowing he missed his mother the most. He turned to her with tears in his eyes, both now covered in the colors of sunset.

"I know…" he replied as he placed the wands in the top of the fountain beside each other and pulled out his own wand as he waved it intricately around before him as light streamed from the tip of his wand and encased the fountain as it cemented the wands within it permanently, "I just wish I could've done this all the right way. Maybe not for my father, but my mother deserved that at least…" Draco whispered as Hermione wrapped her arms around his shoulders and laid her head against him.

"I'm so proud of you," She said in a near whisper and his eyes shut at his words as they stood there for awhile in silence as the sun disappeared from the sky, remembering back to everything. It was then Draco truly understood that his parents were gone, that they had died to save him, and that alone tormented him. Yet he knew Hermione had been right about his mother, she would have wanted him to live. Eventually Draco took her hand again and lead her back inside and up to the room they shared in silence, "Draco?" She asked softly, hoping he was okay as she saw the unreadable gaze in his dark eyes. But he didn't answer her. Instead his lips came crashing into hers in a deep, longing kiss as he pulled her close. And then she understood. He needed the comfort and she needed him. And he kissed her with all the emotion he couldn't control inside of him anymore, with love. And as they fell onto the bed in passion both knew how right it was, how much they truly did need one another. Two lost souls finally finding peace. Two enemies reconciled. Two lovers finally finding truth. And as they fell away to the pull of skin and burning passion Hermione brought her lips to his ear and whispered, "Happy Birthday Draco Malfoy…." And the significance was evident. The birthday in which he was doomed to die. The nineteenth birthday that was never meant to come. And yet it had….all because Hermione Granger had fallen in love with Draco Malfoy.

***********

A week later it seemed as if they had entered a dream. The entire group of Hogwarts students all sat together as one in the Great Hall, finally having properly finished their seventh year of Hogwarts. Where had the time gone? Hermione sat between Ron and Harry with the Gryffindors, all in robes of crimson while the other Houses donned robes of emerald, navy, and yellow. She clasped Harry and Ron's hands as McGonagall went and stood up at Dumbledore's old phoenix podium. This all seemed like a far off dream….maybe she would wake up at eleven at Platform 9 ¾ or perhaps in her old room in the Gryffindor Tower, or maybe even the day she received her Hogwarts letter and learned she was a witch. So much had happened since then…the boys by her side proved that. They had survived death, pain, love, hate, unspeakable odds, the impossible, and yet they still remained together as friends. The tears began to well as she thought of every memory from the castle which had become her home. And she knew Harry and Ron felt it too. And despite it all she knew they were right where they belonged, graduating together after ridding the world of the most evil wizard alive, they had everything to look forward to.

Draco glanced over at Hermione from across the Hall and saw the strength she was trying so hard to show but knowing it would falter soon. He wished he was there with her…but being there with his friends he felt right again. Normal even. Except he didn't have parents sitting in the back of the Great Hal waiting for him, that thought alone made his chest tighten. Still he didn't believe he would ever make it here. He thought surely he was doomed to die, or suffer some fate under Voldemort and the Death Eaters that would make him never set foot in Hogwarts again after that final battle. But here he was, alive and well, about to graduate. And he couldn't have been more grateful. This second chance had brought him a new life, and Hermione, and it was these things that overwhelmed him. It seemed only yesterday that he had been sorted into Slytherin eight years ago. Had it been that long? Had everything truly happened the way it did? He had survived, and he had found himself again, and better yet, he found love.

"Eight years ago you arrived on the Hogwarts Express as young minds eager to learn whatever Hogwarts wanted to teach. Some of you knew well what you were coming to do, and others were soon to learn. Yet you all came scared, young, and hopeful as to the future's before you," As McGonagall began to speak all eyes were on her, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione couldn't help but notice her eyes lingering on them, "I have seen many classes pass through these halls, but none have faced what you all have faced with such courage and bravery. You all stood divided, yet in the darkest of times you were able to come together as a school for one another. We have seen tragedy and sorrow….you have faced the impossible and yet you have all emerged as such talented and gifted students I would be a fool not to be proud. And I speak with the utmost sincerity when I say Professor Dumbledore would feel the same," At these words McGonagall's eyes filled with tears and Hermione's spilled over as the whole room seemed to hold its breath in memory, "Our losses were great, but our spirit is strong, and despite the different colors you all wear today know that you leave this castle as one class, one school body. You all proven what great hearts each and every one of you have within you, hearts that have led you through these years to emerge as the bright, talented, mature, caring witches and wizards you have all become. And I know, without a doubt, you all will go out into the world and do great and wonderful things. And it is with great honor I present you all with Certificates of Graduation from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry," It was then she waved her wand as magically protected pieces of parchment appeared before each student, "Congratulations." McGonagall said softly as everyone grabbed their certificates and burst out in cheers, throwing their Hogwarts caps into the air as seas of crimson, emerald, navy, and yellow all mixed as one.

"We did it!" Hermione whispered into Draco's ear as they found each other, trapping one another tightly together as everyone moved around them. Even Blaise, Pansy, and Goyle were talking with Harry, Ron, and Ginny. Members of the DA all gathered around in remembrance of their past adventures as parents began to make their way towards their graduated children. Hermione's lips met Draco's but she looked over and saw McGonagall moving towards her and Draco and she moved back slightly, "Oh Merlin…"

"I told her everything…." Draco said softy in her ear as he took her hand and McGonagall stopped in front of them, trying not to smile.

"Professor…I'm so sorry for not telling you but it truly wasn't my place and it was all so complicated…" Hermione began to quickly say but the old witch held up her hand.

"I understand Ms. Granger. And may I say I am certainly proud of you for all you have done. Send my regards to the other two as well. And keep a sharp eye on this one." She said as she nodded her head towards Draco with a small smile and Hermione wiped tears from the corners of her eyes with a smile as McGonagall, her favorite teacher and friend disappeared into the crowd. Draco and Hermione looked out at all their classmates, at their school and he squeezed her hand as he took off his dress robe and slung it over his shoulder, his arms now exposed.

"I suppose I'll have to face you're parents now won't I?" Draco asked with a small smirk as he turned to her, Hermione's parents chatting with a few people in the distance. She rolled her eyes at him.

"I thought Malfoy's don't get scared of anything…they'll love you."

"And who says I'm scared, Granger?" He said quickly and she laughed as she leaned up to peck him on the cheek. After a few moments he sighed and turned back to her as their eyes met, gray and brown, "So what do we do now?" His voice was soft, only meant for her ears, a slight fear in his eyes about the future that she quieted with a peaceful, loving smile.

"Whatever we want to do, we have our whole lives don't we?" And with that their lips met for a moment as they cemented the future, stepping into the crowd towards her parents and a new chapter in both their lives. A time to just….live. The pain was behind them at last. And as Draco looked down at his forearm he noticed that the Dark Mark had nearly disappeared on his skin, and he smiled for this as he walked hand in hand with Hermione to greet their future, together.

**The End. **

**I hope you all liked it, I had a blast writing it.  
I'll be starting another quite soon I think ;)**


End file.
